That cocktail party
I saw you unzip your pants
And fuck the warm brie

My God, your cunt's tight.
Oh, sorry, that's your nostril.
Well, I'm not stopping.

Now I need a snack.
Someone pass the blue cheese please.
Triscuits or Wheat Thins?

Ommmm Gorgonzola,
Danish, Roquefort, Cabrales,
and Stilton cheese ommmmm.....

Chop off your penis.
Tie it onto a long string.
Swing it at people.

Grilled blue cheese sandwich.
Blue cheese with an apple slice.
Chocolate blue cheese.

God I love blue cheese.
I'd suck off President Trump
for a quarter pound.

Blue cheese on burgers.
Blue cheese with my spicy wing.
Blue cheese on ice cream.

I can orgasm
just thinking about blue cheese.
Taste my tangy spunk!

I know that I have
a baby carrot penis
and Ranch dressing spooge.

Bite them, Bad Haiku!
Yes, bite and tear with your claws!
Good Haiku. Sit, boy.

Why does God hate me?
Got a baby carrot dick
The sheep laugh at it

God's love for you shows
in how large your penis is.
So he hates poets!

God bless 'Murica!
Dem damn Chinee derkerjer!
(South Park - took our jobs.)

Nationalism.
Nationalism and more
nationalism.

Tinkling midnight stream
Radioactive urine
Fukashima glow

Late at night I rise
and stagger to the bathroom:
pissing bright moonlight.

I am the Devil.
And I'm here to do His work.
--Otis Firefly

Must have been nitrous
That opened your brain portal
To Lucifer's light.

I did much nitrous
When the Dead rolled through Denver
Back in the 90s


Five bucks a balloon
Wonder if I could have died
Oh well, too late now.

From what I recall
Those were super awesome time's
Tough to remember

Love the hippie chicks
But not so much the crab lice
Gotta be careful

Nitrous Oxide bliss:
If I could just remember
What I thought I knew.

Oh, when I saw the dead I was traveling w/a friend selling N2O balloons. Good times. More laughs than The Joker.

Saw the Dead quite a few times from 93 to 95. Wish I'd have caught the last show, but I was doing other hippie stuff. Honestly, the music is dull and uninspiring to me. But the drugs... oh, the drugs. And stinky hairy hippie chicks. The hippie food is pretty good too, but that's just me. Beans and rice and veggies and whole grains and yogurt and crap like that. Oh, I just saw something funny... A T-shirt w/ Kim Kardashian's face on the Human-Centipad. Look for it on Wish.com. Search "Kardashian Centipede". I really need to get one. My testicles are singing again. Hendrix tunes this time. Hard to concentrate on my work when they do that. What's the difference b/w a dead math teacher laying in the road and a dead art teacher laying in the road? There are skid marks in front of the art teacher.

Just a box of rain
You are the eyes of the world
And more trippy thoughts.

I don't tickle pigs.
I brutally rape the swine.
That's what pigs deserve.

So just remember,
if you eat a ham sandwich,
that might be my kid.

Vulgar poetry
will flood your brain, thoughts, and soul.
There's no cure for it.

Found a box of rain.
Had a bunch of mosquitoes.
I dumped it all out.

Jerry Garcia
Played guitar, did lots of drugs
met an early death

Such a sad story
There is a lesson there kids....
Do not play guitar

Hey Darth Pigtickler!
We've got you surrounded - come
Out with your hands up!

Jesus vagina.
It bled 5 days for your sins.
Fish yeast bread wine belch.

Dead-zone poetry.
Sad words from sad lost people.
There's nothing better.

Queue the song "Jumper"
Third Eye Blind - unironic
Still kind of funny

Splendid caretaker
But you took great care of me
Until you didn't

Lily Boo listen
Everyone else has judged me
Sentence loneliness

Soccer seasons done
Early demise no bother
My heart can't take it

Captured down in verse
Committed to this affair?
Lovers never win

Red stained memories
Do you even think of me?
Yeah ~ every third thing

Roastbeef meat curtains
Like engorged hog labia
Pass the horseradish

How many boogers
To make a real booger farm?
Start with booger seeds?

Lebron James Genius!
Says people need education
Before they comment

James got through high school
But can't find Hong Kong on a map.
Can't make this chit up!

Texas loves Prez. TRUMP!
He rides for the brand USA!
Democrat dolts don't!

Trump's trip to Dallas
Ended so much better than
John F. Kennedy's

Trump said following
Jerusalem = Capital
State of Israel

But seriously,
God is hearing all those prayers
For Cheeto-Hitler!

Little Miss Nuthin
Sat on her muffin, eating
Curds the Kurdish way.

Y'all don't diss ma girl.
She down wif Harvard Law School.
She a Indian too!

Lizabeth Warren
Break dancing to rap music
She's black woman now

Fake News has emerged
From its corporate cocoon
As Very Fake News

Much bad news today
Seems to have you all worked up
"Triggered"....as you say.

Self identify
As attack helicopter
Sipping soy latte

Che in the Bardo:
Demon-Buddhas singe his beard...
he screams for mama!

As for the Kommies,
they've morphed into something else:
genderqueer zombies

When your ass parted
I caught a glimpse of your god:
source of your Haiku.