BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
195 Days
67569 Haikus
You don't need a gun
Why not a bow and arrow?
Just like Ted Nugent
Haiku #66356, by Phil Lesh ....for the love of Internet tough guys
November 3, 2019 10:29 am ET

Only joking Darth.
Of course we love the brilliance.
(Not so much the turds)
Haiku #66355, by Smile and say "cheese" for Jesus
November 3, 2019 7:32 am ET

I can hardly wait!
Well, you know how to reach me.
Don't be a pussy.
Haiku #66354, by df of Vincent Van Gogh, Figpucker, and Smurfette -- all have blue periods.
November 2, 2019 10:00 pm ET

Should I bring a cheese platter and imported beer? We can make a party of my execution. Stream it on FB and Twitter and YouTube... or maybe put it on Pay-Per-View. Think of the money you can make!
Haiku #66353, by Darth Figpucker
November 2, 2019 9:58 pm ET

I'm going swimming.
There are turds in the ocean.
I swim right by them.
Haiku #66352, by Darth Figpucker of Blue Cheese Binge Cringe
November 2, 2019 9:54 pm ET

Post your home address.
I'll come over to your house.
Then you can shoot me.
Haiku #66351, by Darth Figpucker of for more info
November 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET

It would pleasure me
To shoot you in your sick head
Like eating blue cheese
Haiku #66350, by But Alas I Have No Firearm And Know Not Where Thou Livest
November 2, 2019 7:02 pm ET

Home field advantage
Crucial for pooping pleasure
Agree completely
Haiku #66349, by Phil Lesh
November 2, 2019 5:53 pm ET

I poo in private
with a soft pressure bidet
for my tender bits.
Haiku #66348, by public crappers, no no no! of ... unless there's free blue cheese.
November 2, 2019 4:48 am ET

Mirror on the floor.
I want to see my asshole.
Wow, that is nasty.
Haiku #66347, by Good thing I'm not gay. of Well, I like blue cheese, and that's a little gay.
November 2, 2019 3:50 am ET

I shat a white turd
from eating too much blue cheese.
It looked like dog poo.
Haiku #66346, by My God, you're right! of Staring at the toilet in amazement of my white poo... like a Halloween ghost!
November 2, 2019 3:40 am ET

Talk to my ass, Darth.
That's your basic element:
Blue Cheese and Bathroom.
Haiku #66345, by Figpucker's Follies of the Public Toilet
November 1, 2019 6:26 pm ET

Talking to yourself
A million miles a minute
Bluetooth bag of wind
Haiku #66344, by Zappy of Mount Olympus
November 1, 2019 4:01 pm ET

Trick or Treat my house.
Caramel covered blue cheese!
Made with pot butter.
Haiku #66343, by And laced w/ LSD. of Newark NJ
October 31, 2019 9:26 pm ET

HALLOWEEN, bitches!
Why aren't you trick or treating?
Candy for Satan!!!!
Haiku #66342, by Tomorrow ALL SAINTS
October 31, 2019 8:04 pm ET

It's the rennet, dolt.
That bacterial rennet:
It's curdling your brain.
Haiku #66341, by Chose Cheese of Chews
October 31, 2019 9:48 am ET

Towering phallus
The lighthouse keeper wanking
Moans like a foghorn
Haiku #66340, by Sea Bizkit of Salty
October 31, 2019 4:31 am ET

Thinks he's THE BIG CHEESE
a morsel of fromunda
Under the toadstool
Haiku #66339, by Authority on small dinx of At your service
October 30, 2019 7:35 pm ET

A burning question:
Does Donald Trump eat blue cheese?
Or just orange cheddar.
Haiku #66338, by Fuck Colby and American. of Those are for pussies.
October 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET

Clunking and scraping
Experiencing boners
Robots masturbatr
Haiku #66337, by Running of For the nearest exit
October 30, 2019 1:53 am ET

I do not love you.
When I wake and see your face
I want to vomit.

High pressure puke spray.
Projectile chunks of blue cheese.
Like the Exorcist.

Call it a geyser.
Capt. Morgan's and Roquefort.
And it's all your fault.
Haiku #66336, by my talking to my Japanese blow-up love doll.
October 30, 2019 12:32 am ET

Immersion blender
This time in the porto pot
Butt brownie batter
Haiku #66335, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
October 29, 2019 8:33 pm ET

A Tri Delta smelt a
fart from my ass
wholly disgusted
and perturbed
by the disturbed
misbehavior of my
sphincter that stinked her
out of the room
with a sonic BOOM!!!!
...or 2... or 3... or FOUR!
She slammed the damned
door like the plastic whore
she is.

You snooze, you lose
your shoes in the ooze.
She should not have drank
all that booze.

Haiku #66334, by Nasty stole ja.
October 29, 2019 7:20 pm ET

That's a big problem.
A cheesy blue period.
Unless you're Smurfette.
Haiku #66333, by Anonymous Poet
October 29, 2019 2:16 pm ET

Like Vincent van Gogh,
I've got my blue period.
I know, it's cheesy.
Haiku #66332, by Darth Figgy Pudding
October 29, 2019 1:31 pm ET

The specimen jar
Certainly looks like your poop
The smell is spot on
Haiku #66331, by Sa meg uh ma sore ass of Peeking
October 29, 2019 12:05 am ET

Wholly archetype,
Mandalas imply wholeness...
but are they HOLY?
Haiku #66330, by I Ate My Anima Hole, sorry--WHOLE
October 28, 2019 10:13 pm ET

Listen to your enema!
I mean . . . anima.
Haiku #66329, by Too Jung to be Freud
October 28, 2019 10:09 pm ET

What the fuck is this?
Seriously I'm confused
What is this place for?
Haiku #66328, by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
October 28, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Forgot to haiku.
So haiku is now a verb.
'Cause I made it so.

I wonder if blue cheese can be made from goat milk. I need to learn how.
Haiku #66327, by Blue cheese on balot eggs? of No... no no no. That's just wrong.
October 28, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Yeah, but you think replacing an electron w/ a muon is going to have any effect other than possible destruction of the fullerene by energetic radioactive decay? I mean, what's the purpose of all that? Even it has some sort of quantum computing "significance" it's not practical and I'm really needing some gelatinous pork broth to slather all over my cock before masturbating to midgets pooping all morning long. Know what I mean?
Haiku #66326, by Red Hot Blues corn chips and blue cheese really go well together. of Seriously though, give it a try. You're in the US, you have access to all that fatty stuff. Lucky cunts.
October 28, 2019 7:20 pm ET

Oh so that was you:
Found through Google search
Haiku #66325, by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
October 28, 2019 4:10 pm ET

Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Haiku #66324, by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET

Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku #66323, by Dr Kildare of Long gone
October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET

Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku #66322, by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET

About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku #66321, by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET

Is it possible
to hump skeletons any
other way than dry?
Haiku #66320, by Unless you puke on them... of Or use KY. Or blue cheese.
October 28, 2019 6:42 am ET

October romance
Dry humping a skeleton
Whilst eating candy
Haiku #66319, by Boner of Nearby
October 28, 2019 12:52 am ET

Did you jack off on
the periodic table
in your science class?
Haiku #66318, by Ultra geek of At the blue cheese fondue fountain drowning Triscuits.
October 28, 2019 12:40 am ET

The dead body moves!
Marxism animates the corpse.
Cadaver twitches . . .
Haiku #66317, by Communists are Dead of Zombies
October 27, 2019 9:38 pm ET

Can you get headaches
from snorting too much blue cheese?
It was organic.
Haiku #66316, by Darth Hippie Figpucker
October 27, 2019 8:27 pm ET

ISIS Devil Kilt!
Smart! don't tell Democrats $hit
As they would leak it

And help the Bastard.
Just to stop the USA
From killing a Devil

Obama's JV
Chased into a rat hole
And blasted to mush.

Head chopping Bastard
Seller of slaves and rapist
Hollers for Mommy.

To late Turban dude
Your sins done caught up with you
And you paid the price
Haiku #66315, by Shaitan of Al Bagdadi's new home
October 27, 2019 4:25 pm ET

Beautiful golden
Fresh water pouring down me
R Kelly rapist
Haiku #66314, by Problematique of Hell, probably
October 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Never want to end
Our greatest memories here
Also, meth users
Haiku #66313, by Stupidity of Gangsta Town
October 27, 2019 3:53 pm ET

Beautiful beaches
Sand between your spider toes
Cries by the sea wall
Haiku #66312, by LonelyGirl15 of G Town
October 27, 2019 3:49 pm ET

I am writing one!!
I'm really doing it, dad!!!
Now am I worthY???
Haiku #66311, by Problematic
October 27, 2019 3:45 pm ET

I do not like her
Please stop talking about it
She is annoying
Haiku #66310, by Agreeable of Ledbetter Residence
October 27, 2019 3:41 pm ET

Humble Bumble Bee. . .
What does that even mean, bitch?
Take your lithium!
Haiku #66309, by You Know of Allen-ville
October 27, 2019 3:40 pm ET

Dead Eleven years
Wife left us Daughter and me
I Needed some help
Haiku #66308, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2019 3:39 pm ET

I gave you the truth
Please do not as more of me
Sadness Consumes Me
Haiku #66307, by Sethe of Topside
October 27, 2019 3:34 pm ET