BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
195 Days
67570 Haikus
Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Haiku #66324, by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET

Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku #66323, by Dr Kildare of Long gone
October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET

Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku #66322, by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET

About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku #66321, by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET

Is it possible
to hump skeletons any
other way than dry?
Haiku #66320, by Unless you puke on them... of Or use KY. Or blue cheese.
October 28, 2019 6:42 am ET

October romance
Dry humping a skeleton
Whilst eating candy
Haiku #66319, by Boner of Nearby
October 28, 2019 12:52 am ET

Did you jack off on
the periodic table
in your science class?
Haiku #66318, by Ultra geek of At the blue cheese fondue fountain drowning Triscuits.
October 28, 2019 12:40 am ET

The dead body moves!
Marxism animates the corpse.
Cadaver twitches . . .
Haiku #66317, by Communists are Dead of Zombies
October 27, 2019 9:38 pm ET

Can you get headaches
from snorting too much blue cheese?
It was organic.
Haiku #66316, by Darth Hippie Figpucker
October 27, 2019 8:27 pm ET

ISIS Devil Kilt!
Smart! don't tell Democrats $hit
As they would leak it

And help the Bastard.
Just to stop the USA
From killing a Devil

Obama's JV
Chased into a rat hole
And blasted to mush.

Head chopping Bastard
Seller of slaves and rapist
Hollers for Mommy.

To late Turban dude
Your sins done caught up with you
And you paid the price
Haiku #66315, by Shaitan of Al Bagdadi's new home
October 27, 2019 4:25 pm ET

Beautiful golden
Fresh water pouring down me
R Kelly rapist
Haiku #66314, by Problematique of Hell, probably
October 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Never want to end
Our greatest memories here
Also, meth users
Haiku #66313, by Stupidity of Gangsta Town
October 27, 2019 3:53 pm ET

Beautiful beaches
Sand between your spider toes
Cries by the sea wall
Haiku #66312, by LonelyGirl15 of G Town
October 27, 2019 3:49 pm ET

I am writing one!!
I'm really doing it, dad!!!
Now am I worthY???
Haiku #66311, by Problematic
October 27, 2019 3:45 pm ET

I do not like her
Please stop talking about it
She is annoying
Haiku #66310, by Agreeable of Ledbetter Residence
October 27, 2019 3:41 pm ET

Humble Bumble Bee. . .
What does that even mean, bitch?
Take your lithium!
Haiku #66309, by You Know of Allen-ville
October 27, 2019 3:40 pm ET

Dead Eleven years
Wife left us Daughter and me
I Needed some help
Haiku #66308, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2019 3:39 pm ET

I gave you the truth
Please do not as more of me
Sadness Consumes Me
Haiku #66307, by Sethe of Topside
October 27, 2019 3:34 pm ET

You break my poor heart
You evil, ungrateful bitch
I gave you my all
Haiku #66306, by Mr. Nutty Balls of Seaside
October 27, 2019 3:31 pm ET

I have an answer
I don't believe in it
Standardized Loving
Haiku #66305, by Sethe of Hell
October 27, 2019 3:28 pm ET

Is that you, Sethe?
I have a question to ask
Will you marry me?
Haiku #66304, by Mr. Nuts and Balls of Factory
October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET

Beware of trolls here
Stealing you name to insult
on here whilst wife dying
Haiku #66303, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET

Such Lonely People
desperate for some contact
I hope you find some
Haiku #66302, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2019 3:15 pm ET

Wal Mart dink rollback
Uncircumcised anteater
Your favorite greeter
Haiku #66301, by Smile of Undisclosed
October 27, 2019 1:01 pm ET

Susan Sarandon:
It's all about that.
Haiku #66300, by Adam Schiff of Standard Hotel Hell
October 27, 2019 6:55 am ET

Trump gave the OK
To roast weird Al -Baghdadi
on the earthly plain.

Now he roasts in Hell
72 Virgin goats
Have their way with him

Trump is not JV
Bombed the hell out of them
Kill them break their chit.

Verily- its good
Live by the sword and die
Like rats caught in trap
Haiku #66299, by Shaitan of AL Bhagdadi's new home
October 27, 2019 6:19 am ET

Brian Wilson's brie
Sliding down his golden throat
Sprinkled with beach sand
Haiku #66298, by Noticer of Details of Dune Buggy
October 27, 2019 1:18 am ET

The cheese stands alone
Masturbates vigorously
And calls it haiku
Haiku #66297, by Squeaky Fromage of Creepy Crawlin
October 27, 2019 1:13 am ET

Your salad got tossed,
blue cheese, blue boy, moldy one.
Step up. Write Haiku.
Haiku #66296, by Salad Wars of Oriental Verse
October 26, 2019 10:21 pm ET

Been snorting blue cheese.
It's way better than cocaine.
My heart is racing.
Haiku #66295, by blue bleu blew a load of moldy funk all over your tossed salad. of impregnated with croutons
October 26, 2019 5:29 pm ET

Too much chattering
Walkie talkie etiquette
Says you must shut up
Haiku #66294, by Unhappy Ears of Shushville
October 26, 2019 4:33 pm ET

"Bleu" is for faggots,
Or the French, aren't they the same?
Fuck yourself cheese snob.
Haiku #66293, by Ding Dong of Derriere
October 26, 2019 4:11 pm ET

Hey cheese-head it's "bleu".
Also that Italian one,
And Stilton. Roquefort.
Haiku #66292, by Think Outside of the Mold
October 26, 2019 1:35 pm ET

Super slick slaughter
More whales killed for their blubber
Thus more blue cheese made
Haiku #66291, by Capt. Anal of You Know
October 26, 2019 10:39 am ET

Haiku #66290, by Fart
October 26, 2019 1:09 am ET

Electrons don't "orbit", but I know what you mean. Why deuterium and not some other atom or isotope? I don't think that would even matter. Or antimatter. Splatter on the platter, I'd rather have the latter to make me fatter. Swing batter batter, swing! Use the bat to stir the batter. Mad as a hatter. Mercury in the blue cheese.
Haiku #66289, by Or something.
October 26, 2019 1:08 am ET

Sometimes I wonder
If Miss Vargas is able
to vagina smile.
Haiku #66288, by She probably can but een Espaneesh
October 25, 2019 11:14 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
What the spin flip transition
Of a muon would be if it replaced
The electron orbiting
A deuterium atom
Haiku #66287, by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
October 25, 2019 9:46 pm ET

Accidentally found
This obscure site through research
I am quite appalled
Haiku #66286, by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
October 25, 2019 9:35 pm ET

Tell them bring blue cheese.
Trapped down here, I am famished.
And a nice wheat ale.

I guess we'll have a
beer and blue cheese pairing brunch
amidst STDs.

Christ I miss good cheese.
Civilization's yardstick.
Why 1st world is fat.
Haiku #66285, by Darth Figpucker, Esq., The Highly Inappropriate of But you can call me Lord Figpucker
October 25, 2019 9:06 pm ET

Tell the rescue team
to wear biohazard suits.
God knows what's in there.

Full body condoms.
Appropriate attire.
Burn gear post rescue.

Prometheus clap.
Your dick becomes Alien.
Its teeth pierce your skull.
Haiku #66284, by Even worse than the diseases of Philippines whore houses. Trust me.
October 25, 2019 8:56 pm ET

Laurie forgive me.
I'm trapped in your vagina.
Please send rescue team.
Haiku #66283, by OB GYN spelunker EMT Navy Seals.
October 25, 2019 8:49 pm ET

Laurie forgive me.
I forgot about your face
For twenty minutes.
Haiku #66282, by Not Thinking About The Attributes of Laurie Vargas
October 25, 2019 7:17 pm ET

Barbara Crowley:
Either her or her mother
Got next to the Mage.
Haiku #66281, by Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole of Satanism
October 25, 2019 6:40 pm ET

Now Barbara Bush...
I'd smother her in blue cheese,
and eat ev'ry bite.
Haiku #66280, by Laura Bush, not so much.
October 25, 2019 6:30 pm ET

Not Vaurie Large-ass.
Not even with free blue cheese.
No no no no no.
Haiku #66279, by
October 24, 2019 9:41 pm ET

How on earth to stop
Thinking about Laurie V ?
(V for Vargas) Wow.
Haiku #66278, by Not thinking of Laurie Vargas
October 24, 2019 9:33 pm ET

But seriously . . .
Laurie Vargas gets me hot.
Hotter than George. Bush.
Haiku #66277, by Hot wetback of Wet Hotback
October 24, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Succoth Nergal-Gul
Gurgaath Karg Ar Lothep Ur
Cthulu Ngaak
Haiku #66276, by Incantation of Recreation
October 24, 2019 9:24 pm ET

Grease pain oh grease pain
you wrack my ungreased body
Like Laurie Vargas
Haiku #66275, by El Singular of Los Angeles
October 24, 2019 9:18 pm ET