Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 24 Days and 77403 Haiku later...

I do not love you.
When I wake and see your face
I want to vomit.

High pressure puke spray.
Projectile chunks of blue cheese.
Like the Exorcist.

Call it a geyser.
Capt. Morgan's and Roquefort.
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 66336, October 30, 2019 12:32 am ET
by my talking to my Japanese blow-up love doll.
Immersion blender
This time in the porto pot
Butt brownie batter
Haiku # 66335, October 29, 2019 8:33 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
A Tri Delta smelt a
fart from my ass
wholly disgusted
and perturbed
by the disturbed
misbehavior of my
super-intelligent
sphincter that stinked her
out of the room
with a sonic BOOM!!!!
...or 2... or 3... or FOUR!
She slammed the damned
door like the plastic whore
she is.

You snooze, you lose
your shoes in the ooze.
She should not have drank
all that booze.

SPLAT!
Haiku # 66334, October 29, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Nasty stole ja.
That's a big problem.
A cheesy blue period.
Unless you're Smurfette.
Haiku # 66333, October 29, 2019 2:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like Vincent van Gogh,
I've got my blue period.
I know, it's cheesy.
Haiku # 66332, October 29, 2019 1:31 pm ET
by Darth Figgy Pudding
The specimen jar
Certainly looks like your poop
The smell is spot on
Haiku # 66331, October 29, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Sa meg uh ma sore ass of Peeking
Wholly archetype,
Mandalas imply wholeness...
but are they HOLY?
Haiku # 66330, October 28, 2019 10:13 pm ET
by I Ate My Anima Hole, sorry--WHOLE
Individuate!
Listen to your enema!
I mean . . . anima.
Haiku # 66329, October 28, 2019 10:09 pm ET
by Too Jung to be Freud
What the fuck is this?
Seriously I'm confused
What is this place for?
Haiku # 66328, October 28, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Forgot to haiku.
So haiku is now a verb.
'Cause I made it so.

I wonder if blue cheese can be made from goat milk. I need to learn how.
Haiku # 66327, October 28, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Blue cheese on balot eggs? of No... no no no. That's just wrong.
Yeah, but you think replacing an electron w/ a muon is going to have any effect other than possible destruction of the fullerene by energetic radioactive decay? I mean, what's the purpose of all that? Even it has some sort of quantum computing "significance" it's not practical and I'm really needing some gelatinous pork broth to slather all over my cock before masturbating to midgets pooping all morning long. Know what I mean?
Haiku # 66326, October 28, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Red Hot Blues corn chips and blue cheese really go well together. of Seriously though, give it a try. You're in the US, you have access to all that fatty stuff. Lucky cunts.
Oh so that was you:
Perdeuterofullerane
Found through Google search
Haiku # 66325, October 28, 2019 4:10 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Fullerane
Haiku # 66324, October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku # 66323, October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET
by Dr Kildare of Long gone
Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku # 66322, October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET
by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku # 66321, October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
Is it possible
to hump skeletons any
other way than dry?
Haiku # 66320, October 28, 2019 6:42 am ET
by Unless you puke on them... of Or use KY. Or blue cheese.
October romance
Dry humping a skeleton
Whilst eating candy
Haiku # 66319, October 28, 2019 12:52 am ET
by Boner of Nearby
Did you jack off on
the periodic table
in your science class?
Haiku # 66318, October 28, 2019 12:40 am ET
by Ultra geek of At the blue cheese fondue fountain drowning Triscuits.
The dead body moves!
Marxism animates the corpse.
Cadaver twitches . . .
Haiku # 66317, October 27, 2019 9:38 pm ET
by Communists are Dead of Zombies
Can you get headaches
from snorting too much blue cheese?
It was organic.
Haiku # 66316, October 27, 2019 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Hippie Figpucker
ISIS Devil Kilt!
Smart! don't tell Democrats $hit
As they would leak it

And help the Bastard.
Just to stop the USA
From killing a Devil

Obama's JV
Chased into a rat hole
And blasted to mush.

Head chopping Bastard
Seller of slaves and rapist
Hollers for Mommy.

To late Turban dude
Your sins done caught up with you
And you paid the price
Haiku # 66315, October 27, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Shaitan of Al Bagdadi's new home
Beautiful golden
Fresh water pouring down me
R Kelly rapist
Haiku # 66314, October 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET
by Problematique of Hell, probably
Never want to end
Our greatest memories here
Also, meth users
Haiku # 66313, October 27, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Stupidity of Gangsta Town
Beautiful beaches
Sand between your spider toes
Cries by the sea wall
Haiku # 66312, October 27, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by LonelyGirl15 of G Town
I am writing one!!
I'm really doing it, dad!!!
Now am I worthY???
Haiku # 66311, October 27, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Problematic
I do not like her
Please stop talking about it
She is annoying
Haiku # 66310, October 27, 2019 3:41 pm ET
by Agreeable of Ledbetter Residence
Humble Bumble Bee. . .
What does that even mean, bitch?
Take your lithium!
Haiku # 66309, October 27, 2019 3:40 pm ET
by You Know of Allen-ville
Dead Eleven years
Wife left us Daughter and me
I Needed some help
Haiku # 66308, October 27, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I gave you the truth
Please do not as more of me
Sadness Consumes Me
Haiku # 66307, October 27, 2019 3:34 pm ET
by Sethe of Topside
You break my poor heart
You evil, ungrateful bitch
I gave you my all
Haiku # 66306, October 27, 2019 3:31 pm ET
by Mr. Nutty Balls of Seaside
I have an answer
I don't believe in it
Standardized Loving
Haiku # 66305, October 27, 2019 3:28 pm ET
by Sethe of Hell
Is that you, Sethe?
I have a question to ask
Will you marry me?
Haiku # 66304, October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mr. Nuts and Balls of Factory
Beware of trolls here
Stealing you name to insult
on here whilst wife dying
Haiku # 66303, October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Such Lonely People
desperate for some contact
I hope you find some
Haiku # 66302, October 27, 2019 3:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wal Mart dink rollback
Uncircumcised anteater
Your favorite greeter
Haiku # 66301, October 27, 2019 1:01 pm ET
by Smile of Undisclosed
Susan Sarandon:
Pingpongpingpongpingpongping.
It's all about that.
Haiku # 66300, October 27, 2019 6:55 am ET
by Adam Schiff of Standard Hotel Hell
Trump gave the OK
To roast weird Al -Baghdadi
on the earthly plain.

Now he roasts in Hell
72 Virgin goats
Have their way with him

Trump is not JV
Bombed the hell out of them
Kill them break their chit.

Verily- its good
Live by the sword and die
Like rats caught in trap
Haiku # 66299, October 27, 2019 6:19 am ET
by Shaitan of AL Bhagdadi's new home
Brian Wilson's brie
Sliding down his golden throat
Sprinkled with beach sand
Haiku # 66298, October 27, 2019 1:18 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Dune Buggy
The cheese stands alone
Masturbates vigorously
And calls it haiku
Haiku # 66297, October 27, 2019 1:13 am ET
by Squeaky Fromage of Creepy Crawlin
Your salad got tossed,
blue cheese, blue boy, moldy one.
Step up. Write Haiku.
Haiku # 66296, October 26, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Salad Wars of Oriental Verse
Been snorting blue cheese.
It's way better than cocaine.
My heart is racing.
Haiku # 66295, October 26, 2019 5:29 pm ET
by blue bleu blew a load of moldy funk all over your tossed salad. of impregnated with croutons
Too much chattering
Walkie talkie etiquette
Says you must shut up
Haiku # 66294, October 26, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by Unhappy Ears of Shushville
Hey cheese-head it's "bleu".
Also that Italian one,
And Stilton. Roquefort.
Haiku # 66292, October 26, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Think Outside of the Mold
Super slick slaughter
More whales killed for their blubber
Thus more blue cheese made
Haiku # 66291, October 26, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Capt. Anal of You Know
.
Haiku # 66290, October 26, 2019 1:09 am ET
by Fart
Electrons don't "orbit", but I know what you mean. Why deuterium and not some other atom or isotope? I don't think that would even matter. Or antimatter. Splatter on the platter, I'd rather have the latter to make me fatter. Swing batter batter, swing! Use the bat to stir the batter. Mad as a hatter. Mercury in the blue cheese.
Haiku # 66289, October 26, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Or something.
Sometimes I wonder
If Miss Vargas is able
to vagina smile.
Haiku # 66288, October 25, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by She probably can but een Espaneesh
Sometimes I wonder
What the spin flip transition
Of a muon would be if it replaced
The electron orbiting
A deuterium atom
Sigh
Haiku # 66287, October 25, 2019 9:46 pm ET
by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
Accidentally found
This obscure site through research
I am quite appalled
Haiku # 66286, October 25, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
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