Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 197 Days and 76492 Haiku later...

****If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!
Haiku # 66359, November 3, 2019 5:50 pm ET
by Captain Spaulding of Spicy limited edition blue cheese chicken wings! They just taste so damn good!
Gun, bow-and-arrow...
Why not land mines or grenades?
Make sure it's done right!
Haiku # 66358, November 3, 2019 5:49 pm ET
by If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make of -- Captain Spaulding
Just like McDonald's,
with every McFigpucker,
you get a free turd.
Haiku # 66357, November 3, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Not so happy meal. of McD never had a blue cheese burger, the corporate scum... Well, except in France.
You don't need a gun
Why not a bow and arrow?
Just like Ted Nugent
Haiku # 66356, November 3, 2019 10:29 am ET
by Phil Lesh ....for the love of Internet tough guys
Only joking Darth.
Of course we love the brilliance.
(Not so much the turds)
Haiku # 66355, November 3, 2019 7:32 am ET
by Smile and say "cheese" for Jesus
I can hardly wait!
Well, you know how to reach me.
Don't be a pussy.
Haiku # 66354, November 2, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by df of Vincent Van Gogh, Figpucker, and Smurfette -- all have blue periods.
Should I bring a cheese platter and imported beer? We can make a party of my execution. Stream it on FB and Twitter and YouTube... or maybe put it on Pay-Per-View. Think of the money you can make!
Haiku # 66353, November 2, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'm going swimming.
There are turds in the ocean.
I swim right by them.
Haiku # 66352, November 2, 2019 9:54 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Blue Cheese Binge Cringe
Post your home address.
I'll come over to your house.
Then you can shoot me.
Haiku # 66351, November 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of for more info
It would pleasure me
To shoot you in your sick head
Like eating blue cheese
Haiku # 66350, November 2, 2019 7:02 pm ET
by But Alas I Have No Firearm And Know Not Where Thou Livest
Home field advantage
Crucial for pooping pleasure
Agree completely
Haiku # 66349, November 2, 2019 5:53 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
I poo in private
with a soft pressure bidet
for my tender bits.
Haiku # 66348, November 2, 2019 4:48 am ET
by public crappers, no no no! of ... unless there's free blue cheese.
Mirror on the floor.
I want to see my asshole.
Wow, that is nasty.
Haiku # 66347, November 2, 2019 3:50 am ET
by Good thing I'm not gay. of Well, I like blue cheese, and that's a little gay.
I shat a white turd
from eating too much blue cheese.
It looked like dog poo.
Haiku # 66346, November 2, 2019 3:40 am ET
by My God, you're right! of Staring at the toilet in amazement of my white poo... like a Halloween ghost!
Talk to my ass, Darth.
That's your basic element:
Blue Cheese and Bathroom.
Haiku # 66345, November 1, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Figpucker's Follies of the Public Toilet
Talking to yourself
A million miles a minute
Bluetooth bag of wind
Haiku # 66344, November 1, 2019 4:01 pm ET
by Zappy of Mount Olympus
Trick or Treat my house.
Caramel covered blue cheese!
Made with pot butter.
Haiku # 66343, October 31, 2019 9:26 pm ET
by And laced w/ LSD. of Newark NJ
HALLOWEEN, bitches!
Why aren't you trick or treating?
Candy for Satan!!!!
Haiku # 66342, October 31, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by Tomorrow ALL SAINTS
It's the rennet, dolt.
That bacterial rennet:
It's curdling your brain.
Haiku # 66341, October 31, 2019 9:48 am ET
by Chose Cheese of Chews
Towering phallus
The lighthouse keeper wanking
Moans like a foghorn
Haiku # 66340, October 31, 2019 4:31 am ET
by Sea Bizkit of Salty
Thinks he's THE BIG CHEESE
a morsel of fromunda
Under the toadstool
Haiku # 66339, October 30, 2019 7:35 pm ET
by Authority on small dinx of At your service
A burning question:
Does Donald Trump eat blue cheese?
Or just orange cheddar.
Haiku # 66338, October 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Fuck Colby and American. of Those are for pussies.
Clunking and scraping
Experiencing boners
Robots masturbatr
Haiku # 66337, October 30, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Running of For the nearest exit
I do not love you.
When I wake and see your face
I want to vomit.

High pressure puke spray.
Projectile chunks of blue cheese.
Like the Exorcist.

Call it a geyser.
Capt. Morgan's and Roquefort.
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 66336, October 30, 2019 12:32 am ET
by my talking to my Japanese blow-up love doll.
Immersion blender
This time in the porto pot
Butt brownie batter
Haiku # 66335, October 29, 2019 8:33 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
A Tri Delta smelt a
fart from my ass
wholly disgusted
and perturbed
by the disturbed
misbehavior of my
sphincter that stinked her
out of the room
with a sonic BOOM!!!!
...or 2... or 3... or FOUR!
She slammed the damned
door like the plastic whore
she is.

You snooze, you lose
your shoes in the ooze.
She should not have drank
all that booze.

Haiku # 66334, October 29, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Nasty stole ja.
That's a big problem.
A cheesy blue period.
Unless you're Smurfette.
Haiku # 66333, October 29, 2019 2:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like Vincent van Gogh,
I've got my blue period.
I know, it's cheesy.
Haiku # 66332, October 29, 2019 1:31 pm ET
by Darth Figgy Pudding
The specimen jar
Certainly looks like your poop
The smell is spot on
Haiku # 66331, October 29, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Sa meg uh ma sore ass of Peeking
Wholly archetype,
Mandalas imply wholeness...
but are they HOLY?
Haiku # 66330, October 28, 2019 10:13 pm ET
by I Ate My Anima Hole, sorry--WHOLE
Listen to your enema!
I mean . . . anima.
Haiku # 66329, October 28, 2019 10:09 pm ET
by Too Jung to be Freud
What the fuck is this?
Seriously I'm confused
What is this place for?
Haiku # 66328, October 28, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Forgot to haiku.
So haiku is now a verb.
'Cause I made it so.

I wonder if blue cheese can be made from goat milk. I need to learn how.
Haiku # 66327, October 28, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Blue cheese on balot eggs? of No... no no no. That's just wrong.
Yeah, but you think replacing an electron w/ a muon is going to have any effect other than possible destruction of the fullerene by energetic radioactive decay? I mean, what's the purpose of all that? Even it has some sort of quantum computing "significance" it's not practical and I'm really needing some gelatinous pork broth to slather all over my cock before masturbating to midgets pooping all morning long. Know what I mean?
Haiku # 66326, October 28, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Red Hot Blues corn chips and blue cheese really go well together. of Seriously though, give it a try. You're in the US, you have access to all that fatty stuff. Lucky cunts.
Oh so that was you:
Found through Google search
Haiku # 66325, October 28, 2019 4:10 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Haiku # 66324, October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku # 66323, October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET
by Dr Kildare of Long gone
Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku # 66322, October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET
by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku # 66321, October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
Is it possible
to hump skeletons any
other way than dry?
Haiku # 66320, October 28, 2019 6:42 am ET
by Unless you puke on them... of Or use KY. Or blue cheese.
October romance
Dry humping a skeleton
Whilst eating candy
Haiku # 66319, October 28, 2019 12:52 am ET
by Boner of Nearby
Did you jack off on
the periodic table
in your science class?
Haiku # 66318, October 28, 2019 12:40 am ET
by Ultra geek of At the blue cheese fondue fountain drowning Triscuits.
The dead body moves!
Marxism animates the corpse.
Cadaver twitches . . .
Haiku # 66317, October 27, 2019 9:38 pm ET
by Communists are Dead of Zombies
Can you get headaches
from snorting too much blue cheese?
It was organic.
Haiku # 66316, October 27, 2019 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Hippie Figpucker
ISIS Devil Kilt!
Smart! don't tell Democrats $hit
As they would leak it

And help the Bastard.
Just to stop the USA
From killing a Devil

Obama's JV
Chased into a rat hole
And blasted to mush.

Head chopping Bastard
Seller of slaves and rapist
Hollers for Mommy.

To late Turban dude
Your sins done caught up with you
And you paid the price
Haiku # 66315, October 27, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Shaitan of Al Bagdadi's new home
Beautiful golden
Fresh water pouring down me
R Kelly rapist
Haiku # 66314, October 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET
by Problematique of Hell, probably
Never want to end
Our greatest memories here
Also, meth users
Haiku # 66313, October 27, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Stupidity of Gangsta Town
Beautiful beaches
Sand between your spider toes
Cries by the sea wall
Haiku # 66312, October 27, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by LonelyGirl15 of G Town
I am writing one!!
I'm really doing it, dad!!!
Now am I worthY???
Haiku # 66311, October 27, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Problematic
I do not like her
Please stop talking about it
She is annoying
Haiku # 66310, October 27, 2019 3:41 pm ET
by Agreeable of Ledbetter Residence
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