Don't eat processed food.
Hot dogs are not good for you.
Eat your Brussels sprouts.
Haiku #65163, by God, I hate street lights. of And crosswalks and busses and cars and bridges. July 5, 2019 6:41 am ET
As you're being chased you have to taunt back at your pursuer, "Ha ha ha! You didn't have time to wipe! Now your undies are all shitty and you'll have to go home and change! Ha ha ha! The more you run, the worse it smears!
And hope that he doesn't have a gun.
Take a video of him chasing you.
Put the whole even on YouTube for the world to see.
Think of the views. You'll be famous.
All for peeing on some guy's shoes. You're welcome.
Sticks his arm inside
Pulls the whole thing inside out
There, you re Chaz Bono
Haiku #65119, by Giant Teat of Squirting spoilt milk June 30, 2019 9:32 pm ET
You: a vagina.
You have declared this yourself.
(Real vaginas cringe.)
Haiku #65118, by Darth's Gynecological Appointment June 30, 2019 7:05 pm ET
My penis is too big.
My penis is too BIG!
I said my PENIS IS TOO BIG!
I am a vagina!
Haiku #65117, by Don Fartzheldt of The Family Burning Channel. June 30, 2019 5:38 pm ET
Well we went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say.
Feed us, feed us, feed us, feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare.