Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 25 Days and 76802 Haiku later...

Was that too racist?
You never can tell these days.
Damn PC snowflakes.
Haiku # 65214, July 10, 2019 9:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's quite difficult.
You'll likely need a black girl.
Or boy, if you like.
Haiku # 65213, July 10, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That is not the truth.
You haven't tried the nostril.
Go on, stuff it in.
Haiku # 65212, July 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Those bedroom shenanigans
Tried in every hole
Haiku # 65211, July 10, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Tired and chafed
Sounds like censorship
But I do agree with you
This place is childish
Haiku # 65210, July 9, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Captain Kirk
Grandma wore a bib
When she was eating lobster
Or blowing Grandpa
Haiku # 65209, July 9, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by Neat Freak
Excuse me... 23 year experiment.
Haiku # 65208, July 9, 2019 8:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Well, you don't make people log in, any old angry bastard with erectile dysfunction or zit-face virgin living with mommy can get on here and say whatever.... Yeah, this site needs a serious overhaul.
(1) Log in.
(2) Poems only go public once approved.

I mean, this fucking turds and "Jesus fucks your grandma" and all that garbage... If you want to read the thoughts of sick demented worms, then keep it as is.

Otherwise, I'd just assume see this 21 year experiment shitcanned if it can't be upgraded.
Haiku # 65207, July 9, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All you Facebook clowns
Instead of Mark Zuckerberg
Haiku # 65206, July 9, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by Duck Face
His shaft was rock hard
Bit off the end with a SNAP!
Like Essem hot dogs
Haiku # 65205, July 9, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Warm bun of Your oven
Father's suck off little boys
Banners burnt after eating the literal shit of my fesis

He asked if he/she could eat me
But I was grossed out by the fact that the pics tacs did nothing to cover up
His shit breath

Must've been from sucking off his own shit from Jesus the big head Lucifer's dick
Haiku # 65204, July 9, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Jesus InYour of Your RearEnd
This just came to mind
Has anyone ever fucked
A chunk of feces?
Haiku # 65203, July 9, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Brown Moan of Porch glider
Historic outhouse
Our founding fathers made splat
On this splintered slat
Haiku # 65202, July 9, 2019 6:28 pm ET
by Flag Waving Anus of Puckerupper
Amazing volume:
the sheer verbiage you type...
most of it boring
Haiku # 65201, July 9, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Boring Infantile Imagery Repeated Ad Nauseum
Haiku erection
FIVE inches plus SEVEN plus
FIVE more hard inches
Haiku # 65199, July 9, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Zucchini in my pants
So I looked it up.
DINK -- Dual income, no kids.
And there you have it.

Now Google for "cock".
You'll find huge shlongs all over
your computer screen.
Haiku # 65198, July 9, 2019 6:06 am ET
by My god, this is gay.
Popping pimpled pores
From the edge of Moher Cliffs
Flying face guano
Haiku # 65197, July 9, 2019 2:37 am ET
by ShemegHmah O Toole of Taint
Life hands you lemons
Open a lemonade stand
In your own trousers
Haiku # 65196, July 9, 2019 2:30 am ET
by Silver Lining of Gunty and the Guntettes
More entertaining
if we superglued his "dink"
down between his legs.

No more urinal.
He'd have to pee like a girl.
Forget erections.
Haiku # 65194, July 9, 2019 12:55 am ET
by "dink" is so gay... can we just say cock like normal people... oh, but of course, I forgot, you're a "poet".
Hanging by his hat
Old Superglue commercial
Someone suck his dink
Haiku # 65193, July 8, 2019 11:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Is it just bad luck
If the church steeple falls off
And lands right on you
Haiku # 65192, July 8, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by Heathen
High at work today
Smelling coworkers armpits
I wear Birkenstocks
Haiku # 65191, July 8, 2019 9:39 pm ET
by Bev of Walking on a tilt
When killing someone
Be sure to cut the head off
Before eating it
Haiku # 65190, July 8, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by Have a nice day
When shooting oneself
Make sure the walls are covered
In case blood splatters
Haiku # 65189, July 8, 2019 7:53 am ET
by Be courteous to others
At the Last Supper
Jesus pulled the tablecloth
Oh, what a showman!
Haiku # 65188, July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Doug Henning of High AF
Let's diss Muhammad.
I mean, he fucked little girls.
And quite likely goats.
Haiku # 65187, July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Ooooo, so edgy!
Jesus wiped for thee
Behold the Shroud of Turin
Prototype Charmin
Haiku # 65186, July 8, 2019 2:54 am ET
by Holy Chit of 2ply Heavenly Soft
Those tears that you see
Running down my leg are pee
Holy water s free
Haiku # 65185, July 8, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Laughing Jesus of 1900 DirtyJoke
Cry boo hoo
Says weeping Jesus
We enjoy your tears keep giving us Fame
You're nothing but a fucking lame
Haiku # 65184, July 8, 2019 2:04 am ET
by Jesus Wept of For Me
No virgin I see
Nothing but a crawling whore to us that see.
Don't worry bout him he's with me
Haiku # 65183, July 8, 2019 2:01 am ET
by We get money of U Lose
Put it in your mouth
If you want to kill yourself
Not to your temple
Haiku # 65182, July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET
by Suicide 101
Greatest touch without being there
I felt his presence in the air
Through the mind it was taken there
And burst of pleasure in the air
Virgin twin woah water everywhere
Haiku # 65181, July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET
by How did u do it of Amazing
The only way to do this is to get a new car and then get a new truck and then get a new one for me to go to shop for a new house
Haiku # 65180, July 8, 2019 1:34 am ET
by Greedy
Morning health smoothie
Made from elite athlete s poop
You will get the runs
Haiku # 65179, July 8, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Juice Brenner of Yule Log in terlit
And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku # 65178, July 8, 2019 12:55 am ET
by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku # 65177, July 8, 2019 12:54 am ET
by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
People are funny
When they think you aren t looking

They like to jerk off
Haiku # 65176, July 8, 2019 12:42 am ET
by Peripheral Visionary of Church
People are funny
When they think you arenâ
Haiku # 65175, July 8, 2019 12:40 am ET
by Peripheral Visionary of Church
Are you still twitching?
Thought you had died long ago . . .
you vile piece of filth.
Haiku # 65174, July 7, 2019 10:34 pm ET
by Keep Smilin' for JEEsus of Lamb of God (your maker)
Listening to Rush
Rhythmic hockey stick dry hump
Greasy poutine stain
Haiku # 65173, July 7, 2019 3:33 pm ET
by Bugger
The Virgin Mary
Identical twin sister
God spaketh: Spread em!
Haiku # 65172, July 7, 2019 3:23 pm ET
by Helen Waite of Answer Desk
Listening to Rush.
It's bittersweet and painful.
Picking a deep scab.
Haiku # 65171, July 7, 2019 4:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Though I fucked her twice
The bible keeps insisting
Mary's a virgin
Haiku # 65170, July 7, 2019 3:57 am ET
by I guess anal doesn't count
I think I'll post that on Facebook.
Haiku # 65169, July 5, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's fascinating how you can watch your mental state/health decline and do nothing about it except sit back and let yourself be entertained as your life, family, and all you've worked for fall apart and crumble as all things eventually must.
I am jealous of inanimate objects and lower life forms.
Although I understand, but do not condone, those who murder their families, sparing them the pain and misery of the universe.
Myself, I say let the little shits be miserable. They deserve it. They deserve every ice cream cone and amusement park ride that they beg for like lapdogs wanting table scraps. The deserve to go the movies and eat popcorn. They deserve every goddamn torture that society and industry has dreamed up for them. The fattened, lazy lumps, ripe for the slaughter when the alien overlords come down to butcher them for steaks.
Therefore I say unto you: Go forth and fornicate. Multiply. Exponentiate. The gods demand entertainment!

I am, indeed, a banana.
Haiku # 65168, July 5, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
On his wedding day
He wore a white tuxedo
Like a huge bunny
Haiku # 65167, July 5, 2019 8:21 am ET
by True story
Lettuce prey, hare lip
Why wait until Sunday comes?
Fuck like wild rabbits
Haiku # 65166, July 5, 2019 8:19 am ET
by Round pellet of Suspicious activity
The carrots have souls.
Let the rabbits wear glasses.
Give me an "Amen!"
Haiku # 65165, July 5, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Rev. Maynard
Brussels sprouts with lightly salted lemon butter and some fresh grated Parmesan cheese and a nice glass of Beaujolais. 2009.
Haiku # 65164, July 5, 2019 6:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't eat processed food.
Hot dogs are not good for you.
Eat your Brussels sprouts.
Haiku # 65163, July 5, 2019 6:41 am ET
by God, I hate street lights. of And crosswalks and busses and cars and bridges.
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