BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
65 Days
69644 Haikus
That is not the truth.
You haven't tried the nostril.
Go on, stuff it in.
Haiku #65212, by Anonymous Poet
July 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET

Those bedroom shenanigans
Tried in every hole
Haiku #65211, by Tired and chafed
July 10, 2019 12:14 am ET

Sounds like censorship
But I do agree with you
This place is childish
Haiku #65210, by Captain Kirk
July 9, 2019 11:11 pm ET

Grandma wore a bib
When she was eating lobster
Or blowing Grandpa
Haiku #65209, by Neat Freak
July 9, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Excuse me... 23 year experiment.
Haiku #65208, by Anonymous Poet
July 9, 2019 8:09 pm ET

Well, you don't make people log in, any old angry bastard with erectile dysfunction or zit-face virgin living with mommy can get on here and say whatever.... Yeah, this site needs a serious overhaul.
(1) Log in.
(2) Poems only go public once approved.

I mean, this fucking turds and "Jesus fucks your grandma" and all that garbage... If you want to read the thoughts of sick demented worms, then keep it as is.

Otherwise, I'd just assume see this 21 year experiment shitcanned if it can't be upgraded.
Haiku #65207, by Anonymous Poet
July 9, 2019 8:08 pm ET

All you Facebook clowns
Instead of Mark Zuckerberg
Haiku #65206, by Duck Face
July 9, 2019 7:58 pm ET

His shaft was rock hard
Bit off the end with a SNAP!
Like Essem hot dogs
Haiku #65205, by Warm bun of Your oven
July 9, 2019 6:43 pm ET

Father's suck off little boys
Banners burnt after eating the literal shit of my fesis

He asked if he/she could eat me
But I was grossed out by the fact that the pics tacs did nothing to cover up
His shit breath

Must've been from sucking off his own shit from Jesus the big head Lucifer's dick
Haiku #65204, by Jesus InYour of Your RearEnd
July 9, 2019 6:39 pm ET

This just came to mind
Has anyone ever fucked
A chunk of feces?
Haiku #65203, by Brown Moan of Porch glider
July 9, 2019 6:32 pm ET

Historic outhouse
Our founding fathers made splat
On this splintered slat
Haiku #65202, by Flag Waving Anus of Puckerupper
July 9, 2019 6:28 pm ET

Amazing volume:
the sheer verbiage you type...
most of it boring
Haiku #65201, by Boring Infantile Imagery Repeated Ad Nauseum
July 9, 2019 5:20 pm ET

Haiku erection
FIVE inches plus SEVEN plus
FIVE more hard inches
Haiku #65199, by Walkin Funny of Zucchini in my pants
July 9, 2019 10:08 am ET

So I looked it up.
DINK -- Dual income, no kids.
And there you have it.

Now Google for "cock".
You'll find huge shlongs all over
your computer screen.
Haiku #65198, by My god, this is gay.
July 9, 2019 6:06 am ET

Popping pimpled pores
From the edge of Moher Cliffs
Flying face guano
Haiku #65197, by ShemegHmah O Toole of Taint
July 9, 2019 2:37 am ET

Life hands you lemons
Open a lemonade stand
In your own trousers
Haiku #65196, by Silver Lining of Gunty and the Guntettes
July 9, 2019 2:30 am ET

More entertaining
if we superglued his "dink"
down between his legs.

No more urinal.
He'd have to pee like a girl.
Forget erections.
Haiku #65194, by "dink" is so gay... can we just say cock like normal people... oh, but of course, I forgot, you're a "poet".
July 9, 2019 12:55 am ET

Hanging by his hat
Old Superglue commercial
Someone suck his dink
Haiku #65193, by Anonymous Poet
July 8, 2019 11:50 pm ET

Is it just bad luck
If the church steeple falls off
And lands right on you
Haiku #65192, by Heathen
July 8, 2019 10:28 pm ET

High at work today
Smelling coworkers armpits
I wear Birkenstocks
Haiku #65191, by Bev of Walking on a tilt
July 8, 2019 9:39 pm ET

When killing someone
Be sure to cut the head off
Before eating it
Haiku #65190, by Have a nice day
July 8, 2019 2:43 pm ET

When shooting oneself
Make sure the walls are covered
In case blood splatters
Haiku #65189, by Be courteous to others
July 8, 2019 7:53 am ET

At the Last Supper
Jesus pulled the tablecloth
Oh, what a showman!
Haiku #65188, by Doug Henning of High AF
July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET

Let's diss Muhammad.
I mean, he fucked little girls.
And quite likely goats.
Haiku #65187, by Ooooo, so edgy!
July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET

Jesus wiped for thee
Behold the Shroud of Turin
Prototype Charmin
Haiku #65186, by Holy Chit of 2ply Heavenly Soft
July 8, 2019 2:54 am ET

Those tears that you see
Running down my leg are pee
Holy water s free
Haiku #65185, by Laughing Jesus of 1900 DirtyJoke
July 8, 2019 2:52 am ET

Cry boo hoo
Says weeping Jesus
We enjoy your tears keep giving us Fame
You're nothing but a fucking lame
Haiku #65184, by Jesus Wept of For Me
July 8, 2019 2:04 am ET

No virgin I see
Nothing but a crawling whore to us that see.
Don't worry bout him he's with me
Haiku #65183, by We get money of U Lose
July 8, 2019 2:01 am ET

Put it in your mouth
If you want to kill yourself
Not to your temple
Haiku #65182, by Suicide 101
July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET

Greatest touch without being there
I felt his presence in the air
Through the mind it was taken there
And burst of pleasure in the air
Virgin twin woah water everywhere
Haiku #65181, by How did u do it of Amazing
July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET

The only way to do this is to get a new car and then get a new truck and then get a new one for me to go to shop for a new house
Haiku #65180, by Greedy
July 8, 2019 1:34 am ET

Morning health smoothie
Made from elite athlete s poop
You will get the runs
Haiku #65179, by Juice Brenner of Yule Log in terlit
July 8, 2019 1:30 am ET

And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku #65178, by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
July 8, 2019 12:55 am ET

And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku #65177, by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
July 8, 2019 12:54 am ET

People are funny
When they think you aren t looking

They like to jerk off
Haiku #65176, by Peripheral Visionary of Church
July 8, 2019 12:42 am ET

People are funny
When they think you arenâ
Haiku #65175, by Peripheral Visionary of Church
July 8, 2019 12:40 am ET

Are you still twitching?
Thought you had died long ago . . .
you vile piece of filth.
Haiku #65174, by Keep Smilin' for JEEsus of Lamb of God (your maker)
July 7, 2019 10:34 pm ET

Listening to Rush
Rhythmic hockey stick dry hump
Greasy poutine stain
Haiku #65173, by Bugger
July 7, 2019 3:33 pm ET

The Virgin Mary
Identical twin sister
God spaketh: Spread em!
Haiku #65172, by Helen Waite of Answer Desk
July 7, 2019 3:23 pm ET

Listening to Rush.
It's bittersweet and painful.
Picking a deep scab.
Haiku #65171, by Anonymous Poet
July 7, 2019 4:00 am ET

Though I fucked her twice
The bible keeps insisting
Mary's a virgin
Haiku #65170, by I guess anal doesn't count
July 7, 2019 3:57 am ET

I think I'll post that on Facebook.
Haiku #65169, by Anonymous Poet
July 5, 2019 10:00 pm ET

It's fascinating how you can watch your mental state/health decline and do nothing about it except sit back and let yourself be entertained as your life, family, and all you've worked for fall apart and crumble as all things eventually must.
I am jealous of inanimate objects and lower life forms.
Although I understand, but do not condone, those who murder their families, sparing them the pain and misery of the universe.
Myself, I say let the little shits be miserable. They deserve it. They deserve every ice cream cone and amusement park ride that they beg for like lapdogs wanting table scraps. The deserve to go the movies and eat popcorn. They deserve every goddamn torture that society and industry has dreamed up for them. The fattened, lazy lumps, ripe for the slaughter when the alien overlords come down to butcher them for steaks.
Therefore I say unto you: Go forth and fornicate. Multiply. Exponentiate. The gods demand entertainment!

I am, indeed, a banana.
Haiku #65168, by Anonymous Poet
July 5, 2019 9:58 pm ET

On his wedding day
He wore a white tuxedo
Like a huge bunny
Haiku #65167, by True story
July 5, 2019 8:21 am ET

Lettuce prey, hare lip
Why wait until Sunday comes?
Fuck like wild rabbits
Haiku #65166, by Round pellet of Suspicious activity
July 5, 2019 8:19 am ET

The carrots have souls.
Let the rabbits wear glasses.
Give me an "Amen!"
Haiku #65165, by Rev. Maynard
July 5, 2019 7:37 am ET

Brussels sprouts with lightly salted lemon butter and some fresh grated Parmesan cheese and a nice glass of Beaujolais. 2009.
Haiku #65164, by Anonymous Poet
July 5, 2019 6:51 am ET

Don't eat processed food.
Hot dogs are not good for you.
Eat your Brussels sprouts.
Haiku #65163, by God, I hate street lights. of And crosswalks and busses and cars and bridges.
July 5, 2019 6:41 am ET

As you're being chased you have to taunt back at your pursuer, "Ha ha ha! You didn't have time to wipe! Now your undies are all shitty and you'll have to go home and change! Ha ha ha! The more you run, the worse it smears!
And hope that he doesn't have a gun.
Take a video of him chasing you.
Put the whole even on YouTube for the world to see.
Think of the views. You'll be famous.
All for peeing on some guy's shoes. You're welcome.
Haiku #65162, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 9:47 pm ET

My yellow suede shoes
Used to be my blue suede shoes
Keep away from me
Haiku #65161, by Elvis of On throne in next stall
July 4, 2019 1:07 pm ET