BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
342 Days
68426 Haikus
As you're being chased you have to taunt back at your pursuer, "Ha ha ha! You didn't have time to wipe! Now your undies are all shitty and you'll have to go home and change! Ha ha ha! The more you run, the worse it smears!
And hope that he doesn't have a gun.
Take a video of him chasing you.
Put the whole even on YouTube for the world to see.
Think of the views. You'll be famous.
All for peeing on some guy's shoes. You're welcome.
Haiku #65162, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 9:47 pm ET

My yellow suede shoes
Used to be my blue suede shoes
Keep away from me
Haiku #65161, by Elvis of On throne in next stall
July 4, 2019 1:07 pm ET

Chased to Hell and back
Jesus tripped over his robe
He came in second
Haiku #65160, by Get it? Blamed it on the Sandals of Second coming
July 4, 2019 1:01 pm ET

All dirty thoughts kept to self
But still a pervert
Haiku #65159, by Pervert
July 4, 2019 12:58 pm ET

Extrovert peeing.
Pee on people's shoes while they
are taking a dump.

Better run quickly.
They'll chase you to hell and back.
Laugh like a madman.
Haiku #65158, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 4:56 am ET

I don't drink and drive.
I bicycle while tripping.
Chicken with semis.
Haiku #65157, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 4:26 am ET

Satanic metal.
Not that I'm into Satan.
I'm just a purist.
Haiku #65156, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 4:24 am ET

Shy urination
Paper bag worn on the head
In the mens restroom
Haiku #65155, by Shy Tinkler of Running
July 4, 2019 4:12 am ET

Shy urination
Paper bag worn on the head
In the menâ
Haiku #65154, by Shy Tinkler of Running
July 4, 2019 4:12 am ET

Attention poets
Have a finger fucking fourth
Please don't drink and drive
Haiku #65153, by I don't drink of Nor do I drive
July 4, 2019 3:05 am ET

Old men screwing whores.
Fat women eating cheesecake.
Junkies aren't so bad.
Haiku #65152, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 2:47 am ET

Was done on South Park.
Kenny in the bus driver,
Miss Crabtree, I think.

He died up in there.
But, it wasn't really him.
Just some other kid.

He died for our sins.
Well, your sins, that is, not mine.
Now kneel and pray.

Our Kenny, who art in heaven...
Haiku #65151, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2019 1:32 am ET

Midget hide and seek
Fat lady of the circus
Someone in her cunt
Haiku #65150, by Olly Olly of Oxenfree
July 3, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Tattoos on his face
Tell the world that he is shit
Thanks for the warning
Haiku #65149, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2019 8:42 pm ET

Fifty years ago
Brian Jones drowned on this day
And he is still dead
Haiku #65148, by Fly of Wall
July 3, 2019 6:55 pm ET

Bring out all the tanks
Stuff the big guns with kaka
Now chant: USA
Haiku #65147, by USA USA USA of USA
July 3, 2019 6:52 pm ET

When Facebook shuts down
The only way to fix it
Suck Zuckerberg s dink
Haiku #65146, by Suck that pasty dink of Thank you very much
July 3, 2019 6:50 pm ET

Facebook crashed because
I uploaded a dick pick.
No, seriously.
Haiku #65145, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2019 3:30 pm ET

Tremendous parade
But it needs marching midgets
With tremendous dinks
Haiku #65144, by Parade planner of Masturbation kiosk
July 3, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Want to save some souls
in my high holy heaven?
Yes, that's an angel.

The cloud of glory.
Watch now as it falls on you.
Eternity smiles.

That's also the name
of the Lord of Heaven's hosts.
Such a holy God.
Haiku #65143, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2019 7:06 am ET

Want to buy some time
on my live rectal webcam?
Yes, that's a penis.

The lens is cloudy.
Watch now as I lick it clean.
One buck per minute.

That's also the price
as well as the rate of bucks.
Such a dirty fag.
Haiku #65142, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2019 3:39 am ET

Must be paradise
True longpig on the menu
Save me the sausage
Haiku #65141, by Sausage dink
July 2, 2019 8:59 pm ET

I have tender nips!
Tender, soft, and supple nips.
They're not tough at all.
Haiku #65140, by df
July 2, 2019 8:55 pm ET

Be nice to DF
He has had a tough childhood
Also three nipples
Haiku #65139, by Captain Kirk
July 2, 2019 7:05 pm ET

I am sure that Darth
has seen all there is to see
inside his own ass...
Haiku #65138, by Mediocrity of Infantility
July 2, 2019 12:11 pm ET

Have you ever looked
Way down inside your pee hole
Or down your front butt?
Haiku #65137, by Zip petrodollars of Ungainly glunk
July 2, 2019 11:40 am ET

That Mexican Food
Sneaking over the border
Of my loose sphincter
Haiku #65136, by Tuesday undies are toast of Hasta la vista, baby
July 2, 2019 6:54 am ET

I enjoy farting
I m puckered up and blowing
Butterfart kisses
Haiku #65135, by Butterfart of Butt
July 2, 2019 6:51 am ET

The food is great here
No idea what it is tho
Haiku #65134, by Nocturnal Intermission
July 2, 2019 6:46 am ET

The food is great here
No idea what it is tho
Haiku #65133, by Nocturnal Intermission
July 2, 2019 6:45 am ET

I won on Ebay.
Ozzy Osbourne's naval lint.
It smells like guano.
Haiku #65132, by Anonymous Poet
July 2, 2019 4:46 am ET

Aroused by fireworks
Grandpa spent the holiday
In the local jail
Haiku #65131, by Mr.Masturbation of Porch
July 2, 2019 4:19 am ET

Fuzzy reception
When two peaches got married
He was a cobbler
Haiku #65130, by I thought he was a fruit of Pro deuce
July 2, 2019 2:44 am ET

Tuesday underwear
We ate Mexican tonight
Tune in for updates
Haiku #65129, by El Paso de Gasso of South of the border (of Canada)
July 2, 2019 12:10 am ET

Monday underwear
Stained brown with Sunday Dinner
Same shit,different day
Haiku #65128, by Docent of Museum of Digestion
July 1, 2019 6:44 pm ET

When I feel like it
I release my flatulence
Then I step away
Haiku #65127, by Gassy
July 1, 2019 5:53 pm ET

You are mistaken
Lucifer himself sucked it
He likes cocktail franks
Haiku #65126, by Crud of Weeny Roast
July 1, 2019 3:00 pm ET

I have a feeling
god's a homosexual
Cuz he sucked my dick
Haiku #65125, by I have to return some videotapes
July 1, 2019 1:56 pm ET

Captain's Log entries
Broccoli keeps me regular
They look like small trees
Haiku #65124, by Star Trek Historian of Styrofoam boulder
July 1, 2019 1:23 pm ET

I like green ladies
Hot and uninhibited
Smell like broccoli
Haiku #65123, by Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise
July 1, 2019 10:08 am ET

Alien titties.
Luke Skywalker squeezed them hard.
Should have joined the Sith.

Come join the Dark Side.
We've got dirty prostitutes.
At least they're not green.
Haiku #65122, by Wanna buy some death-sticks?
July 1, 2019 9:34 am ET

You are truly lost.
Only farts you understand.
That is your language.

Haiku #65121, by Anonymous Poet
July 1, 2019 2:16 am ET

I'll come over there
If you need encouragement
Whilst on the toilet
Haiku #65120, by Friend
July 1, 2019 1:37 am ET

Sticks his arm inside
Pulls the whole thing inside out
There, you re Chaz Bono
Haiku #65119, by Giant Teat of Squirting spoilt milk
June 30, 2019 9:32 pm ET

You: a vagina.
You have declared this yourself.
(Real vaginas cringe.)
Haiku #65118, by Darth's Gynecological Appointment
June 30, 2019 7:05 pm ET

My penis is too big.
My penis is too BIG!

I am a vagina!
Haiku #65117, by Don Fartzheldt of The Family Burning Channel.
June 30, 2019 5:38 pm ET

Well we went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say.
Feed us, feed us, feed us, feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare.
Haiku #65116, by Bo Burnham
June 30, 2019 5:30 pm ET

Two-headed foetus.
It could speak when it was born.
And begged, "Please, eat us!"
Haiku #65115, by Anonymous Poet
June 30, 2019 5:26 pm ET

I simply refuse
To be treated like garbage
By trash like you folks
Haiku #65114, by Sticking out my can of Curbside
June 30, 2019 12:57 pm ET

That drainage canal
Also known as your wife's cunt
Corpse flower in bloom
Haiku #65113, by Furbelow Furrburger
June 30, 2019 12:04 pm ET