BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
364 Days
and
66396 Haikus
later...
Captain's Log entries
Broccoli keeps me regular
They look like small trees
Haiku #65124, by Star Trek Historian of Styrofoam boulder
July 1, 2019 1:23 pm ET

I like green ladies
Hot and uninhibited
Smell like broccoli
Haiku #65123, by Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise
July 1, 2019 10:08 am ET

Alien titties.
Luke Skywalker squeezed them hard.
Should have joined the Sith.

Come join the Dark Side.
We've got dirty prostitutes.
At least they're not green.
Haiku #65122, by Wanna buy some death-sticks?
July 1, 2019 9:34 am ET

You are truly lost.
Only farts you understand.
That is your language.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7JyjZI3LUM

Watch.
Haiku #65121, by Anonymous Poet
July 1, 2019 2:16 am ET

I'll come over there
If you need encouragement
Whilst on the toilet
Haiku #65120, by Friend
July 1, 2019 1:37 am ET

Sticks his arm inside
Pulls the whole thing inside out
There, you re Chaz Bono
Haiku #65119, by Giant Teat of Squirting spoilt milk
June 30, 2019 9:32 pm ET

You: a vagina.
You have declared this yourself.
(Real vaginas cringe.)
Haiku #65118, by Darth's Gynecological Appointment
June 30, 2019 7:05 pm ET

My penis is too big.
My penis is too BIG!
I said my PENIS IS TOO BIG!

I am a vagina!
Haiku #65117, by Don Fartzheldt of The Family Burning Channel.
June 30, 2019 5:38 pm ET

Well we went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say.
Feed us, feed us, feed us, feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare.
Haiku #65116, by Bo Burnham
June 30, 2019 5:30 pm ET

Two-headed foetus.
It could speak when it was born.
And begged, "Please, eat us!"
Haiku #65115, by Anonymous Poet
June 30, 2019 5:26 pm ET

I simply refuse
To be treated like garbage
By trash like you folks
Haiku #65114, by Sticking out my can of Curbside
June 30, 2019 12:57 pm ET

That drainage canal
Also known as your wife's cunt
Corpse flower in bloom
Haiku #65113, by Furbelow Furrburger
June 30, 2019 12:04 pm ET

The drainage canal
overflowed into our yard.
We found a body.
Haiku #65112, by Anonymous Poet
June 30, 2019 8:26 am ET

The drainage canal
overflowed into our yard.
We found a body.
Haiku #65111, by Anonymous Poet
June 30, 2019 8:25 am ET

Are they called backhoes,
or are they excavators?
What's the difference?
Haiku #65110, by Redneck amusment park rides.
June 30, 2019 8:22 am ET

Cunt's dull repertoire:
bodily fluids, shit, piss . . .
complaints about Darth.
Haiku #65109, by Anonymous Poet
June 30, 2019 8:18 am ET

Those old waxy balls
Swinging back and forth all day
Is it bothersome?
Haiku #65108, by Trudging along
June 30, 2019 5:47 am ET

Under old willow
Ballcheese Harvest Festival
Volunteers Wanted
Haiku #65107, by Rural squinty Guido of Under old willow
June 30, 2019 3:15 am ET

Monday through Friday
All those underwear have stains
Next...Shaturday Night
Haiku #65106, by Revolting John of Discotheque
June 30, 2019 12:05 am ET

Darth's dull repertoire:
bodily fluids, shit, piss . . .
that's the full extent.
Haiku #65105, by Figpucker Prayer Contingent of Bedpan Removal
June 29, 2019 10:21 pm ET

So do I have to
Kick you in the balls or are
You gonna do that?
Haiku #65104, by Your Legs Are Short & Your Balls Sag
June 29, 2019 8:55 pm ET

When one begins with
"Statistically speaking"
kick them in the balls.
Haiku #65103, by df
June 29, 2019 7:51 pm ET

boredom overwhelms.
your solution is haiku.
now run for office.
Haiku #65102, by df -- I approve this message
June 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET

We came full circle
Shouldn t come as a surprise
At a circle jerk
Haiku #65101, by RAY DIUS of A roundabout
June 29, 2019 5:03 pm ET

All of a sudden
The baked beans I ate last night
Returned to my pants
Haiku #65100, by Walkin Funny
June 29, 2019 3:56 pm ET

Show me your titties
Grandpa had a dairy farm
He was a pervert
Haiku #65099, by Land of Milk and Honey of Sticky but it ainâ
June 29, 2019 1:37 pm ET

Blind people must guess
When it s time to stop wiping
And hope for the best
Haiku #65098, by A different perspective
June 29, 2019 1:01 pm ET

Blind people must guess
When itâ
Haiku #65097, by A different perspective
June 29, 2019 1:01 pm ET

Cassowary Bird
Three legged flightless relay
Yes, we have huge dinks
Haiku #65096, by How do? of Thumping the walls
June 29, 2019 11:53 am ET

Most popular names
For newborn donkeys this year
Braydon and Brayson
Haiku #65095, by Ass names
June 29, 2019 8:48 am ET

Your local butcher
Laid out on cold steel table
"Suck harder, Alice!"
Haiku #65094, by Surewood Schwartz of Meat Locker
June 29, 2019 8:43 am ET

Fuck Egg McMuffins.
Those things are Goddamn nasty!
Taste like motor oil.

What do you expect.
Third world imported scrap meat.
Flavor enhancer.

Have some self respect.
Go to your local butcher.
Keep it fucking real.
Haiku #65093, by df
June 29, 2019 3:36 am ET

Pigs are funny too.
Ham sandwich giggling mad.
Porcine laughing gas.

Greased, green, slippery.
Irish redneck rodeo.
What to do once caught?

Pigs are like people.
And most people are like pigs.
Laugh, cannibal, laugh!
Haiku #65092, by df
June 29, 2019 3:30 am ET

I do not love you.
It's not because you're ugly.
It's because you're fat.
Haiku #65091, by df of Divorce attorney's office.
June 29, 2019 2:51 am ET

Aerobic dancing
Wearing a day glo headband
Around my penis
Haiku #65090, by Swollen
June 29, 2019 12:46 am ET

The old fishing hole
Grandpa fished there every night
Until Gram passed on
Haiku #65089, by Red Snapper
June 29, 2019 12:44 am ET

All together now
Communal family bath
Fart in unison
Haiku #65088, by Von Crapp Family Singers of Bath
June 28, 2019 10:49 pm ET

So real funny guy.
Ha ha Darth you sure funny.
You funny like pig
Haiku #65087, by Get To Work of I Don't Pay You For Stand Around
June 28, 2019 10:14 pm ET

I know I'm funny.
Haven't posted in some time.
Your cock is too small.
Haiku #65086, by Darth Figpucker of Sick of clicking traffic lights.
June 28, 2019 9:27 pm ET

Stereopticon
Grandpa screwing a gator!
Visit Florida!
Haiku #65085, by Chamber of Commerce of Florida
June 28, 2019 6:08 pm ET

Send me a postcard
Not covered with spooj this time
Visit Florida!
Haiku #65084, by Florida Chamber of Commerce of Florida
June 28, 2019 5:58 pm ET

Plan your getaway
Put in your teeth (if you want)
Visit Florida!
Haiku #65083, by Chamber of Commerce of Florida
June 28, 2019 4:11 pm ET

Trudging through the sand
Massaging his prostate gland
Visit Florida!
Haiku #65082, by Cootprints in the sand of Florida
June 28, 2019 3:19 pm ET

Grandpa s wrinkled schlong
Each step wagging back and forth
Visit Florida!
Haiku #65081, by Florida Chamber of Commerce
June 28, 2019 11:41 am ET

You funny guy Darth
Ha ha yeah you so funny.
You funny like rot.
Haiku #65080, by Who Order Spicy Pork With Bean Curd?
June 28, 2019 8:17 am ET

Food Food Food Food Food
Food Food Food Food Food Food Food
Food Food Food Food Food
Haiku #65079, by Foodie
June 28, 2019 4:55 am ET

Hi I just got home
The food bank is a great place
If you like spoiled food
Haiku #65078, by Foodie
June 28, 2019 4:53 am ET

Great food and service
No pubic hairs in my food
Wash hands after poop
Haiku #65077, by In business of Still
June 28, 2019 4:43 am ET

Religious hatred
Bad counting and grammar skills
You are a mess son
Haiku #65076, by Hamster ramp
June 28, 2019 2:23 am ET

Jerry Falwell sucks
And his son sucks even worse
Too bad Jesus is not real

He would smite those shits
And most other Christians too
They all full of shit
Haiku #65075, by Jesus is lard
June 28, 2019 12:03 am ET