Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 29 Days and 76809 Haiku later...

Want to save some souls
in my high holy heaven?
Yes, that's an angel.

The cloud of glory.
Watch now as it falls on you.
Eternity smiles.

That's also the name
of the Lord of Heaven's hosts.
Such a holy God.
Haiku # 65143, July 3, 2019 7:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Must be paradise
True longpig on the menu
Save me the sausage
Haiku # 65141, July 2, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by Sausage dink
I have tender nips!
Tender, soft, and supple nips.
They're not tough at all.
Haiku # 65140, July 2, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by df
Be nice to DF
He has had a tough childhood
Also three nipples
Haiku # 65139, July 2, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Captain Kirk
I am sure that Darth
has seen all there is to see
inside his own ass...
Haiku # 65138, July 2, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Mediocrity of Infantility
Have you ever looked
Way down inside your pee hole
Or down your front butt?
Haiku # 65137, July 2, 2019 11:40 am ET
by Zip petrodollars of Ungainly glunk
That Mexican Food
Sneaking over the border
Of my loose sphincter
Haiku # 65136, July 2, 2019 6:54 am ET
by Tuesday undies are toast of Hasta la vista, baby
I enjoy farting
I m puckered up and blowing
Butterfart kisses
Haiku # 65135, July 2, 2019 6:51 am ET
by Butterfart of Butt
The food is great here
No idea what it is tho
Haiku # 65134, July 2, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Nocturnal Intermission
The food is great here
No idea what it is tho
Haiku # 65133, July 2, 2019 6:45 am ET
by Nocturnal Intermission
I won on Ebay.
Ozzy Osbourne's naval lint.
It smells like guano.
Haiku # 65132, July 2, 2019 4:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Aroused by fireworks
Grandpa spent the holiday
In the local jail
Haiku # 65131, July 2, 2019 4:19 am ET
by Mr.Masturbation of Porch
Fuzzy reception
When two peaches got married
He was a cobbler
Haiku # 65130, July 2, 2019 2:44 am ET
by I thought he was a fruit of Pro deuce
Tuesday underwear
We ate Mexican tonight
Tune in for updates
Haiku # 65129, July 2, 2019 12:10 am ET
by El Paso de Gasso of South of the border (of Canada)
Monday underwear
Stained brown with Sunday Dinner
Same shit,different day
Haiku # 65128, July 1, 2019 6:44 pm ET
by Docent of Museum of Digestion
When I feel like it
I release my flatulence
Then I step away
Haiku # 65127, July 1, 2019 5:53 pm ET
by Gassy
You are mistaken
Lucifer himself sucked it
He likes cocktail franks
Haiku # 65126, July 1, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Crud of Weeny Roast
I have a feeling
god's a homosexual
Cuz he sucked my dick
Haiku # 65125, July 1, 2019 1:56 pm ET
by I have to return some videotapes
Captain's Log entries
Broccoli keeps me regular
They look like small trees
Haiku # 65124, July 1, 2019 1:23 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian of Styrofoam boulder
I like green ladies
Hot and uninhibited
Smell like broccoli
Haiku # 65123, July 1, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise
Alien titties.
Luke Skywalker squeezed them hard.
Should have joined the Sith.

Come join the Dark Side.
We've got dirty prostitutes.
At least they're not green.
Haiku # 65122, July 1, 2019 9:34 am ET
by Wanna buy some death-sticks?
You are truly lost.
Only farts you understand.
That is your language.

Haiku # 65121, July 1, 2019 2:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll come over there
If you need encouragement
Whilst on the toilet
Haiku # 65120, July 1, 2019 1:37 am ET
by Friend
Sticks his arm inside
Pulls the whole thing inside out
There, you re Chaz Bono
Haiku # 65119, June 30, 2019 9:32 pm ET
by Giant Teat of Squirting spoilt milk
You: a vagina.
You have declared this yourself.
(Real vaginas cringe.)
Haiku # 65118, June 30, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Darth's Gynecological Appointment
My penis is too big.
My penis is too BIG!

I am a vagina!
Haiku # 65117, June 30, 2019 5:38 pm ET
by Don Fartzheldt of The Family Burning Channel.
Well we went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say.
Feed us, feed us, feed us, feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare.
Haiku # 65116, June 30, 2019 5:30 pm ET
by Bo Burnham
Two-headed foetus.
It could speak when it was born.
And begged, "Please, eat us!"
Haiku # 65115, June 30, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I simply refuse
To be treated like garbage
By trash like you folks
Haiku # 65114, June 30, 2019 12:57 pm ET
by Sticking out my can of Curbside
That drainage canal
Also known as your wife's cunt
Corpse flower in bloom
Haiku # 65113, June 30, 2019 12:04 pm ET
by Furbelow Furrburger
The drainage canal
overflowed into our yard.
We found a body.
Haiku # 65112, June 30, 2019 8:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The drainage canal
overflowed into our yard.
We found a body.
Haiku # 65111, June 30, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are they called backhoes,
or are they excavators?
What's the difference?
Haiku # 65110, June 30, 2019 8:22 am ET
by Redneck amusment park rides.
Cunt's dull repertoire:
bodily fluids, shit, piss . . .
complaints about Darth.
Haiku # 65109, June 30, 2019 8:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Those old waxy balls
Swinging back and forth all day
Is it bothersome?
Haiku # 65108, June 30, 2019 5:47 am ET
by Trudging along
Under old willow
Ballcheese Harvest Festival
Volunteers Wanted
Haiku # 65107, June 30, 2019 3:15 am ET
by Rural squinty Guido of Under old willow
Monday through Friday
All those underwear have stains
Next...Shaturday Night
Haiku # 65106, June 30, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Revolting John of Discotheque
Darth's dull repertoire:
bodily fluids, shit, piss . . .
that's the full extent.
Haiku # 65105, June 29, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Figpucker Prayer Contingent of Bedpan Removal
So do I have to
Kick you in the balls or are
You gonna do that?
Haiku # 65104, June 29, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Your Legs Are Short & Your Balls Sag
When one begins with
"Statistically speaking"
kick them in the balls.
Haiku # 65103, June 29, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by df
boredom overwhelms.
your solution is haiku.
now run for office.
Haiku # 65102, June 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by df -- I approve this message
We came full circle
Shouldn t come as a surprise
At a circle jerk
Haiku # 65101, June 29, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by RAY DIUS of A roundabout
All of a sudden
The baked beans I ate last night
Returned to my pants
Haiku # 65100, June 29, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Walkin Funny
Show me your titties
Grandpa had a dairy farm
He was a pervert
Haiku # 65099, June 29, 2019 1:37 pm ET
by Land of Milk and Honey of Sticky but it ainâ
Blind people must guess
When it s time to stop wiping
And hope for the best
Haiku # 65098, June 29, 2019 1:01 pm ET
by A different perspective
Blind people must guess
When itâ
Haiku # 65097, June 29, 2019 1:01 pm ET
by A different perspective
Cassowary Bird
Three legged flightless relay
Yes, we have huge dinks
Haiku # 65096, June 29, 2019 11:53 am ET
by How do? of Thumping the walls
Most popular names
For newborn donkeys this year
Braydon and Brayson
Haiku # 65095, June 29, 2019 8:48 am ET
by Ass names
Your local butcher
Laid out on cold steel table
"Suck harder, Alice!"
Haiku # 65094, June 29, 2019 8:43 am ET
by Surewood Schwartz of Meat Locker
Fuck Egg McMuffins.
Those things are Goddamn nasty!
Taste like motor oil.

What do you expect.
Third world imported scrap meat.
Flavor enhancer.

Have some self respect.
Go to your local butcher.
Keep it fucking real.
Haiku # 65093, June 29, 2019 3:36 am ET
by df
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