BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
314 Days
and
68097 Haikus
later...
Hallelujah Lord!
I feel the light in my soul!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63631, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy
April 11, 2019 1:20 pm ET

Amen. Praise Jesus.
Prophet, Priest and King. Our judge.
React in vain, earth.
Haiku #63630, by Twinkletoes Glitter of Hovering over Darth's R. shoulder
April 11, 2019 8:23 am ET

I gave ten dollars
to a homeless street beggar.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63629, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy.
April 11, 2019 7:55 am ET

LA LA LA LA LA.
Hear, see, and speak no evil.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63628, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of Reelection Campaign Headquarters for the Illustrious President Trump
April 11, 2019 7:54 am ET

"Where is your Bible?"
I always have it with me.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63627, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
April 11, 2019 7:52 am ET

Just saw vhs
Crawl across the trunk of car
In a chic pink dress
Haiku #63626, by CumbStaines of Cleaners
April 11, 2019 3:43 am ET

Zap ruder footage
Hot cream pie trajectory
Pow in the kisser
Haiku #63625, by Wank Zappage of All over the place
April 11, 2019 3:39 am ET

good
Haiku #63624, by James of newyork
April 11, 2019 2:49 am ET

Go ahead, try it
Wank with non dominant hand
See how it cums out
Haiku #63623, by Rural Guido of Oooorah J Klloofs
April 11, 2019 2:27 am ET

Total juzzwuzard
The diarrhea shithouse
Wadsworth Darthfellow
Haiku #63622, by Rural Guido
April 11, 2019 2:23 am ET

My cum ricocheted
Off the wall,through the kitchen,
then into my face
Haiku #63621, by Reflection of You
April 11, 2019 2:09 am ET

Give me a reason
Heavenly Shenanigans
We don
Haiku #63620, by Poetry byproduct
April 11, 2019 2:06 am ET

Old Darth Figpucker
Stars as Ebenezer Scrooge
Ghosts give up, walk off
Haiku #63619, by Charles Dickens
April 11, 2019 1:51 am ET

Look into my eyes
I am seventeen feet tall
With a three inch dink
Haiku #63618, by Poetry Robot of Junkyard
April 11, 2019 1:41 am ET

They say Uranus
Smells like rotten eggs. True facts.
Praise be to Jesus
Haiku #63617, by Hillbilly Pastor of dirty overalls of Church of Grime
April 11, 2019 12:48 am ET

An end to Satan.
The rapture will come one day.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63616, by TTGF
April 10, 2019 10:58 pm ET

Children are blessings.
Each child is our future.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63615, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Ronald McDonald House
April 10, 2019 10:57 pm ET

Spring time is joyous!
Grilled hamburgers and hotdogs.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63614, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of The hotdogs are Kosher for my 7th day Adventist friends.
April 10, 2019 10:54 pm ET

Life's an adventure.
I once rode an elephant.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63613, by Noah's Ark of Creation Museum, Cincinatti
April 10, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Ice cream and puppies.
Disney films are works of art.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63612, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Oral Roberts' Prayer Tower
April 10, 2019 10:47 pm ET

Happiness and peace.
May your life be filled with smiles.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63611, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Couples for Christ Headquarters
April 10, 2019 10:45 pm ET

My spooge permeates
your pores and orifices,
impregnates your brain.

Now your write of poo.
There is nothing else to do.
Just go with the flow.

Your friends might like it.
But I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll stay gone two weeks.

Bring them on over.
Write enlightening poems.
And be a hippie.

If there is no poo
when I reinspect this site.
I will disappear.
Haiku #63610, by df
April 10, 2019 10:39 pm ET

Can't bring friends over...
Darth always pops up, dripping
with body fluids
Haiku #63609, by Wipe the Darth off me then Dispose of Properly
April 10, 2019 10:17 pm ET

Coffee kicking in.
Approaching normality.
Dusts off rusty brain.

Time to be a whore.
One plus one is fucking two.
That'll be ten bucks.
Haiku #63608, by df
April 10, 2019 9:45 pm ET

On that note,
I once saw a soft comedy porn spoof on Arnold where a guy would steal women's underwear and jack off looking at himself in a mirror. At the end when he blows his load, he had the craziest look on his face and says "I did it!"
I saw that back in high school and my and my friends would often say that... "I did it!" ... Ah, good laughs.
Wish I could have seen Floyd complete before they broke up, but I was a bit young then. Life.
Haiku #63607, by df
April 10, 2019 9:42 pm ET

Ah, there's a big cock.
*gets on knees and fondles balls.
Tickles the tonsils.
Haiku #63606, by Plucks one pube for a souvenir
April 10, 2019 9:35 pm ET

You insult me, Darth.
I know of your "strange hobby"
because old Floyd rocks.
Haiku #63605, by Distorted view of See through baby blue
April 10, 2019 9:30 pm ET

I scanned my asshole.
Printed it on photo stock.
Jacked off onto it.

Folded it neatly.
Mailed it to Donald Trump.
Hope he enjoys it.
Haiku #63604, by df
April 10, 2019 9:13 pm ET

Would you like to try?
I've got some cum left for you.
Don't try to resist.
Haiku #63603, by Deliverance banjo theme plays in background.
April 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET

There are no other
dicks around here wroth sucking.
*wipes off chin with grin.
Haiku #63602, by df of Nantucket
April 10, 2019 9:06 pm ET

Call me Arnold Layne.
You wouldn't understand that.
Not without Google.
Haiku #63601, by df
April 10, 2019 9:03 pm ET

He came in his mouth
But that didn't make him gay
Sucking his dick did
Haiku #63600, by Evidence of Foul play
April 10, 2019 8:38 pm ET

Verdant spring flowers,
fertilized by Darth's feces.
Smell like rotten cum.
Haiku #63599, by My name is Darth Figpucker of and I approve this message.
April 10, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Well, I guess there's farts.
But farts area kind of like poop.
Butt-related stuff.
Haiku #63598, by Darth Figpucker.
April 10, 2019 8:32 pm ET

Bleeding brain, mosquitoes,
poop, jacking off, Asian porn,
drugs and blasphemy.
Haiku #63597, by What else is there?!
April 10, 2019 8:29 pm ET

Hi, my name is Darth
and I am a Pig Fucker.
Been two weeks without.
Haiku #63596, by Darth Figpucker of Pig Fuckers Anonymous Meeting, Nashville Chapter
April 10, 2019 8:24 pm ET

Oh verdant spring life
ye gentle flowers and rills
where's my freaking phone?
Haiku #63595, by Phoney Baloney of Macaroni
April 10, 2019 4:24 pm ET

I came in my mouth
But it didn't taste like mine
It tasted like yours
Haiku #63594, by Archbishop of Canterbury
April 10, 2019 12:50 pm ET

Wouldn't it be nice
By visiting this website
Be cured of sickness
Haiku #63593, by Anonymous Poet
April 10, 2019 9:41 am ET

Look at me right now.
Right now in my eyes. Good. Breathe...
Listen to my thoughts!
Haiku #63592, by Your friendly local satanic psychopath with a black hood on
April 10, 2019 8:49 am ET

some psychedelic furs right there
if you recognise me, look my way
now
Haiku #63591, by vhs
April 10, 2019 8:37 am ET

Lets gang up on Darth
boycott poop and jerk-off verse
(but it's all he knows!)
Haiku #63590, by Anonymous Poet
April 10, 2019 8:24 am ET

DON'T YOU





FORGET ABOUT ME
DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T
Haiku #63589, by John Bender of my dad gave me cigarettes for my birthday
April 10, 2019 1:28 am ET

This world is hard-cruel
Don't expect to get a chance.
No disappointment.
Haiku #63588, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 10, 2019 1:12 am ET

I will keep my sins.
Thank you very fucking much.
My ticket to hell.
Haiku #63587, by Darth Figpucker of Goddamn I hate selecting crosswalks.
April 9, 2019 11:37 pm ET

This website is weird
Kinda like the Breakfast Club
But we re all poets
Haiku #63586, by Starkitten of Dandruff Snowstorm
April 9, 2019 11:00 pm ET

O, moist holy slit
Pardon Figpucker his sins
Cleanse him with tuna
Haiku #63585, by Demon of Steeple
April 9, 2019 9:27 pm ET

Growing a moustache
Wish it would grow all over
In stripes, like a cat
Haiku #63584, by Wanda B.
April 9, 2019 9:26 pm ET

Goddamnitall.
I want / need coffee.
Is it want or is it need?
Only the Holy Cunt of Zargoth know that!
Go ask it!
Haiku #63583, by
April 9, 2019 9:24 pm ET

I looked in your eyes
I saw your disappointment
And then I punched you
Haiku #63582, by Pow of Kisser
April 9, 2019 9:23 pm ET