BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
312 Days
68093 Haikus
My spooge permeates
your pores and orifices,
impregnates your brain.

Now your write of poo.
There is nothing else to do.
Just go with the flow.

Your friends might like it.
But I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll stay gone two weeks.

Bring them on over.
Write enlightening poems.
And be a hippie.

If there is no poo
when I reinspect this site.
I will disappear.
Haiku #63610, by df
April 10, 2019 10:39 pm ET

Can't bring friends over...
Darth always pops up, dripping
with body fluids
Haiku #63609, by Wipe the Darth off me then Dispose of Properly
April 10, 2019 10:17 pm ET

Coffee kicking in.
Approaching normality.
Dusts off rusty brain.

Time to be a whore.
One plus one is fucking two.
That'll be ten bucks.
Haiku #63608, by df
April 10, 2019 9:45 pm ET

On that note,
I once saw a soft comedy porn spoof on Arnold where a guy would steal women's underwear and jack off looking at himself in a mirror. At the end when he blows his load, he had the craziest look on his face and says "I did it!"
I saw that back in high school and my and my friends would often say that... "I did it!" ... Ah, good laughs.
Wish I could have seen Floyd complete before they broke up, but I was a bit young then. Life.
Haiku #63607, by df
April 10, 2019 9:42 pm ET

Ah, there's a big cock.
*gets on knees and fondles balls.
Tickles the tonsils.
Haiku #63606, by Plucks one pube for a souvenir
April 10, 2019 9:35 pm ET

You insult me, Darth.
I know of your "strange hobby"
because old Floyd rocks.
Haiku #63605, by Distorted view of See through baby blue
April 10, 2019 9:30 pm ET

I scanned my asshole.
Printed it on photo stock.
Jacked off onto it.

Folded it neatly.
Mailed it to Donald Trump.
Hope he enjoys it.
Haiku #63604, by df
April 10, 2019 9:13 pm ET

Would you like to try?
I've got some cum left for you.
Don't try to resist.
Haiku #63603, by Deliverance banjo theme plays in background.
April 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET

There are no other
dicks around here wroth sucking.
*wipes off chin with grin.
Haiku #63602, by df of Nantucket
April 10, 2019 9:06 pm ET

Call me Arnold Layne.
You wouldn't understand that.
Not without Google.
Haiku #63601, by df
April 10, 2019 9:03 pm ET

He came in his mouth
But that didn't make him gay
Sucking his dick did
Haiku #63600, by Evidence of Foul play
April 10, 2019 8:38 pm ET

Verdant spring flowers,
fertilized by Darth's feces.
Smell like rotten cum.
Haiku #63599, by My name is Darth Figpucker of and I approve this message.
April 10, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Well, I guess there's farts.
But farts area kind of like poop.
Butt-related stuff.
Haiku #63598, by Darth Figpucker.
April 10, 2019 8:32 pm ET

Bleeding brain, mosquitoes,
poop, jacking off, Asian porn,
drugs and blasphemy.
Haiku #63597, by What else is there?!
April 10, 2019 8:29 pm ET

Hi, my name is Darth
and I am a Pig Fucker.
Been two weeks without.
Haiku #63596, by Darth Figpucker of Pig Fuckers Anonymous Meeting, Nashville Chapter
April 10, 2019 8:24 pm ET

Oh verdant spring life
ye gentle flowers and rills
where's my freaking phone?
Haiku #63595, by Phoney Baloney of Macaroni
April 10, 2019 4:24 pm ET

I came in my mouth
But it didn't taste like mine
It tasted like yours
Haiku #63594, by Archbishop of Canterbury
April 10, 2019 12:50 pm ET

Wouldn't it be nice
By visiting this website
Be cured of sickness
Haiku #63593, by Anonymous Poet
April 10, 2019 9:41 am ET

Look at me right now.
Right now in my eyes. Good. Breathe...
Listen to my thoughts!
Haiku #63592, by Your friendly local satanic psychopath with a black hood on
April 10, 2019 8:49 am ET

some psychedelic furs right there
if you recognise me, look my way
Haiku #63591, by vhs
April 10, 2019 8:37 am ET

Lets gang up on Darth
boycott poop and jerk-off verse
(but it's all he knows!)
Haiku #63590, by Anonymous Poet
April 10, 2019 8:24 am ET


Haiku #63589, by John Bender of my dad gave me cigarettes for my birthday
April 10, 2019 1:28 am ET

This world is hard-cruel
Don't expect to get a chance.
No disappointment.
Haiku #63588, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 10, 2019 1:12 am ET

I will keep my sins.
Thank you very fucking much.
My ticket to hell.
Haiku #63587, by Darth Figpucker of Goddamn I hate selecting crosswalks.
April 9, 2019 11:37 pm ET

This website is weird
Kinda like the Breakfast Club
But we re all poets
Haiku #63586, by Starkitten of Dandruff Snowstorm
April 9, 2019 11:00 pm ET

O, moist holy slit
Pardon Figpucker his sins
Cleanse him with tuna
Haiku #63585, by Demon of Steeple
April 9, 2019 9:27 pm ET

Growing a moustache
Wish it would grow all over
In stripes, like a cat
Haiku #63584, by Wanda B.
April 9, 2019 9:26 pm ET

I want / need coffee.
Is it want or is it need?
Only the Holy Cunt of Zargoth know that!
Go ask it!
Haiku #63583, by
April 9, 2019 9:24 pm ET

I looked in your eyes
I saw your disappointment
And then I punched you
Haiku #63582, by Pow of Kisser
April 9, 2019 9:23 pm ET

Be more tolerant!
I can't help that my brain has
a menstrual cycle.

Think I should use pads?
Big question, wing or no wings?
Red Bull cunt rocket.

The Minstrel Menstrual Motor Cycle In The Gallery.
He once owned a Harley Davidson, and a Triumph Bonneville.
Counted his friend in, used up tampons.
Prays that he always will.
Haiku #63581, by Darth Figpucker of Feeling Tully today.
April 9, 2019 9:20 pm ET

They won t stop talking
I told the psychiatrist
Who won t?
My farts, silly!
Haiku #63580, by Beanie of Toilet bowl
April 9, 2019 9:18 pm ET

They won t stop talking
I told the psychiatrist
Who won
Haiku #63579, by Beanie of Toilet bowl
April 9, 2019 9:18 pm ET

Atomic Fireballs
Dump the whole box in my mouth
Look at my red tongue
Haiku #63578, by SK of pNW
April 9, 2019 9:10 pm ET

"look into my eyes"
That's just so fucking creepy
Worst one on here yet
Haiku #63577, by Look between my thighs
April 9, 2019 9:09 pm ET

fine fuck ok im
here, i was tired of fart
jokes and brain bleeds, geeze
Haiku #63576, by vhs
April 9, 2019 8:25 pm ET

Oversized pink comb
Carried in your back pocket
Let s see you use it
Haiku #63575, by Catch me of Outside
April 9, 2019 6:19 pm ET

Men stru al blood
Rich, flavorful pizza sauce
Delivered monthly
Haiku #63574, by Red of Connecticut
April 9, 2019 6:17 pm ET

If I were a whore
I would charge a thousand bucks
To just jack you off
Haiku #63573, by Product of My environment
April 9, 2019 6:14 pm ET

Failed expectations
Fathers mistakes repeated
Teenagers suck ass!
Haiku #63572, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:14 pm ET

Check under your bed
Don t be surprised when you find
This horny midget
Haiku #63571, by Horny midget of Under bed
April 9, 2019 6:14 pm ET

Check under your bed
Haiku #63570, by Horny midget of Under bed
April 9, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Mad Mushroom Pizza
Tasted good on my burnt tongue
Your lips are better!
Haiku #63569, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:12 pm ET

Semen on your hands?
You will grow hair on your palms
Look into my eyes
Haiku #63568, by Anonymous Poet
April 9, 2019 6:10 pm ET

There's no argument
Expression through taking shits
Like writing poems
Haiku #63567, by Excuse me, I mean taking Tootsie Rolls.
April 9, 2019 6:08 pm ET

Mathematics Spears!
Galvanizing rhetoric
Simple Love Cedric!
Haiku #63566, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:04 pm ET

If I saw man hands
naked, I'd have to fuck her
blackmail leverage
Haiku #63565, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:00 pm ET

Seen limping away
Caravan of so called "poets"
Look into my eyes
Haiku #63564, by Poetry Robot of Front and center
April 9, 2019 5:27 pm ET

We can all agree
Expression through poetry
Like taking a shit
Haiku #63563, by Grunt of Oval of office
April 9, 2019 2:32 pm ET

The cars got smaller
Just get the windows tinted
Jerk off something
Haiku #63562, by Memory Lane
April 9, 2019 9:41 am ET

Meng Chiao and Li Po
will kick our sorry asses
for writing this stuff
Haiku #63561, by Omens and Fantasms of Malevolence from Tiger Cloud-Forest
April 9, 2019 9:19 am ET