Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

First time held her hand
Can't remember what movie
Felt like a rocket
Haiku # 63560, April 9, 2019 9:12 am ET
by Found her pic online 40 years later of She is STILL super HOT !
Conceived in back seats
Parked. Steaming up the windows
When we had sex drives
Haiku # 63559, April 9, 2019 7:24 am ET
by All coming back to me of Boone's Farm
Judah and Tamar:
for a goat and signet ring
he notarized it.
Haiku # 63558, April 9, 2019 7:22 am ET
by Genesis 38 of Highway To Heaven
If you want to fook
just fook- ask for permission
Get it notarized.

That way- no go jail
What hellish! modern! bull chit!
I miss the sixties
Haiku # 63557, April 9, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Rolang of Hell I wouldn't know
Reikan Buddha Eye
Indication- you can see
Things that others can't
Haiku # 63556, April 9, 2019 5:03 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Meng Chiao saw ghosts
put down his verse to explain
What most never see.
Haiku # 63555, April 9, 2019 4:51 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Meng Chiao saw ghosts
put down his verse to explain
What most never see.
Haiku # 63554, April 9, 2019 4:50 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Li Po practiced sword
And killed others in duels-
then wrote a poem
Haiku # 63553, April 9, 2019 4:48 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Another lost fang
All compound things destroyed
Its Ok by me
Haiku # 63552, April 9, 2019 4:38 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
My dick is so small
That it looks like a pussy
And I'm not joking
Haiku # 63551, April 9, 2019 3:02 am ET
by Dick of A child
Louisville slugger
How you wield your flugelhorn
Makes all the difference
Haiku # 63550, April 9, 2019 12:43 am ET
by Vas deferens
It's been a long time
The haiku is overgrown
But I cleared a path
Haiku # 63549, April 9, 2019 12:41 am ET
by Return of the poet of Bad Haiku
If I had a wife
As long as his dick's bigger
She could cheat on me
Haiku # 63548, April 9, 2019 12:40 am ET
by Measure of A man
Tingling sensation
Molesting the elderly
That tube was NOT lube
Haiku # 63547, April 8, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Ben Gay of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Enthusiasm
In the world of Poetry
Translates as: boner
Haiku # 63546, April 8, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Leaning against fencepost. Wait, that's my penis
What kind of webpage
Is this? I like the layout
For the webmaster
Haiku # 63545, April 8, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by dvd
don't forget starkitten
i think her and df are having a kid
gonna name it darth starpucker iirc
vhs got bored
i come here when my antennaes
and wings get that funny
tingling sensation
Haiku # 63544, April 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by MONARCH
Now Ben and Jacob
have to tolerate the Darth.
Should be interesting.
Haiku # 63543, April 8, 2019 9:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sweet is defined by
The sharp contrast between it
And the sourness
Haiku # 63542, April 8, 2019 9:32 pm ET
by alfamike
Add Bailey's liqueur.
Liven's up any coffee.
Disguises the cum.
Haiku # 63541, April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by My secretaries will never know!
Sleep paralysis
Traumatize myself at night
Bilocational
Haiku # 63540, April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by MANMOTH of here and there
I look to the rock
From which I was been - makes me
Feel like a pebble
Haiku # 63539, April 8, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Jacob ben Jacob
Exiting cocoon
Blood pumps and fills fragile wings
Vulner-ability
Haiku # 63538, April 8, 2019 9:20 pm ET
by MONARCH
Quite unlike your wife,
as the gigolos will say,
you had that coming.
Haiku # 63537, April 8, 2019 9:19 pm ET
by Louis Prima, Bing Crosby, or David Lee Roth?
Diluting poison
A stream of living water
Time is running out
Haiku # 63536, April 8, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of the well
Ignore the trolls here
Like a bad cup of coffee
Cold and so bitter
Haiku # 63535, April 8, 2019 9:16 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of moving forward
Reciprocity
Door to the soul is ajar
No expectation
Haiku # 63534, April 8, 2019 9:15 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of a gray place
Are they brown because
you're completely full of shit?
That was my question.
Haiku # 63533, April 8, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by You should go into agriculture, selling truckloads of fertilizer.
Look into my eyes
Please get back to me later
If you have questions
Haiku # 63532, April 8, 2019 6:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Comes with a warning
"Contents under high pressure!"
That's my cue to fart
Haiku # 63531, April 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Stand Back! SCREAMED IN THE SHRILL VOICE of OF STEVIE NICKS
Rimjobs are risky
She could fart at any time
Or dare I say worse
Haiku # 63530, April 8, 2019 4:30 pm ET
by Definition of A hedonist
Asking for a friend
If a dinosaur jerks off
Does he come purple?
Haiku # 63529, April 8, 2019 10:59 am ET
by Barney
Noah's ark unfair
Dinosaurs got a rain check
Only one survived
Haiku # 63528, April 8, 2019 10:57 am ET
by Barney
Not very likely
But you could hide booze bottles
Up there in your snatch
Haiku # 63527, April 8, 2019 10:55 am ET
by Noticed of Details
Sometimes I wonder
If I had a vagina
Would I get fucked more?
Haiku # 63526, April 8, 2019 10:41 am ET
by Thoughts of Suicide
Lab results are in
That pubic hair DNA
Match: Edie Brickell
Haiku # 63525, April 8, 2019 8:06 am ET
by Sound of Silence
The pube instrument
has to be a violin.
Stradivarius.
Haiku # 63524, April 8, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Or Steve Martin's banjo.
I've played White Rabbit
for the past six hours now.
I think Alice knows.
Haiku # 63523, April 8, 2019 7:27 am ET
by Fallen Sloppy Dead
Raped by Papa Smurf.
Eating blueberry bagels.
It's all samey same.
Haiku # 63522, April 8, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Damn the antioxidants!
Godzilla's angry
because his cock is so small.
Goddamn Hollywood!
Haiku # 63521, April 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by More realistic.
Great movie idea.
Science fiction Noah's arc.
Like in Doctor Who.

When looking inside
the arc's big as a planet.
It can warp space-time.

And it has lasers
to fight the hordes of Satan
and shoot dinosaurs.

And God's an ET
hyper dimensional kid
toying with His earth.

This is the good part.
Satan's his younger brother
who messes with earth.

After Noah's flood
their mom makes them brush and floss
and then go to bed.

So man is left alone.
When God wakes up he finds that
man destroyed the earth.
Haiku # 63520, April 8, 2019 2:29 am ET
by The effing end!
what would Jesus do
Would he write awesome haiku?
And then would he boast?
Haiku # 63519, April 8, 2019 2:06 am ET
by It's too much ch for me to fathom
Duck billed platypus
Now what the fuck is that thing?
Proof there is no God
Haiku # 63518, April 8, 2019 1:56 am ET
by Dafuq
Just imagine it
A musical instrument
Made from pubic hair
Haiku # 63517, April 8, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Tuna Zither of Edge of Cliff
Am I a poet?
Or perhaps I am insane
Only time will tell
Haiku # 63516, April 8, 2019 12:20 am ET
by Poet or Insane person
A Helluva ride
All those animals screwing
Not to mention poop
Haiku # 63515, April 8, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Noah of Should have drove instead
Talking to myself?
That still counts as poetry
Voices in my head?
Haiku # 63514, April 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Sounds Legit
With all those enzymes
Penis cannibalizing
Blow jobs shrink your junk
Haiku # 63513, April 7, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Starkitten of Librarian
The age old question
Do wild animals give head?
Who has the answer?
Haiku # 63512, April 7, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Sliding into first
Most unintentionally
I slipped in dog shit
Haiku # 63511, April 7, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Starkitten ( Cats of Summer ) of Spring Training
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