Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

don't forget starkitten
i think her and df are having a kid
gonna name it darth starpucker iirc
vhs got bored
i come here when my antennaes
and wings get that funny
tingling sensation
Haiku # 63544, April 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by MONARCH
Now Ben and Jacob
have to tolerate the Darth.
Should be interesting.
Haiku # 63543, April 8, 2019 9:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sweet is defined by
The sharp contrast between it
And the sourness
Haiku # 63542, April 8, 2019 9:32 pm ET
by alfamike
Add Bailey's liqueur.
Liven's up any coffee.
Disguises the cum.
Haiku # 63541, April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by My secretaries will never know!
Sleep paralysis
Traumatize myself at night
Bilocational
Haiku # 63540, April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by MANMOTH of here and there
I look to the rock
From which I was been - makes me
Feel like a pebble
Haiku # 63539, April 8, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Jacob ben Jacob
Exiting cocoon
Blood pumps and fills fragile wings
Vulner-ability
Haiku # 63538, April 8, 2019 9:20 pm ET
by MONARCH
Quite unlike your wife,
as the gigolos will say,
you had that coming.
Haiku # 63537, April 8, 2019 9:19 pm ET
by Louis Prima, Bing Crosby, or David Lee Roth?
Diluting poison
A stream of living water
Time is running out
Haiku # 63536, April 8, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of the well
Ignore the trolls here
Like a bad cup of coffee
Cold and so bitter
Haiku # 63535, April 8, 2019 9:16 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of moving forward
Reciprocity
Door to the soul is ajar
No expectation
Haiku # 63534, April 8, 2019 9:15 pm ET
by Ben Dalet of a gray place
Are they brown because
you're completely full of shit?
That was my question.
Haiku # 63533, April 8, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by You should go into agriculture, selling truckloads of fertilizer.
Look into my eyes
Please get back to me later
If you have questions
Haiku # 63532, April 8, 2019 6:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Comes with a warning
"Contents under high pressure!"
That's my cue to fart
Haiku # 63531, April 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Stand Back! SCREAMED IN THE SHRILL VOICE of OF STEVIE NICKS
Rimjobs are risky
She could fart at any time
Or dare I say worse
Haiku # 63530, April 8, 2019 4:30 pm ET
by Definition of A hedonist
Asking for a friend
If a dinosaur jerks off
Does he come purple?
Haiku # 63529, April 8, 2019 10:59 am ET
by Barney
Noah's ark unfair
Dinosaurs got a rain check
Only one survived
Haiku # 63528, April 8, 2019 10:57 am ET
by Barney
Not very likely
But you could hide booze bottles
Up there in your snatch
Haiku # 63527, April 8, 2019 10:55 am ET
by Noticed of Details
Sometimes I wonder
If I had a vagina
Would I get fucked more?
Haiku # 63526, April 8, 2019 10:41 am ET
by Thoughts of Suicide
Lab results are in
That pubic hair DNA
Match: Edie Brickell
Haiku # 63525, April 8, 2019 8:06 am ET
by Sound of Silence
The pube instrument
has to be a violin.
Stradivarius.
Haiku # 63524, April 8, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Or Steve Martin's banjo.
I've played White Rabbit
for the past six hours now.
I think Alice knows.
Haiku # 63523, April 8, 2019 7:27 am ET
by Fallen Sloppy Dead
Raped by Papa Smurf.
Eating blueberry bagels.
It's all samey same.
Haiku # 63522, April 8, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Damn the antioxidants!
Godzilla's angry
because his cock is so small.
Goddamn Hollywood!
Haiku # 63521, April 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by More realistic.
Great movie idea.
Science fiction Noah's arc.
Like in Doctor Who.

When looking inside
the arc's big as a planet.
It can warp space-time.

And it has lasers
to fight the hordes of Satan
and shoot dinosaurs.

And God's an ET
hyper dimensional kid
toying with His earth.

This is the good part.
Satan's his younger brother
who messes with earth.

After Noah's flood
their mom makes them brush and floss
and then go to bed.

So man is left alone.
When God wakes up he finds that
man destroyed the earth.
Haiku # 63520, April 8, 2019 2:29 am ET
by The effing end!
what would Jesus do
Would he write awesome haiku?
And then would he boast?
Haiku # 63519, April 8, 2019 2:06 am ET
by It's too much ch for me to fathom
Duck billed platypus
Now what the fuck is that thing?
Proof there is no God
Haiku # 63518, April 8, 2019 1:56 am ET
by Dafuq
Just imagine it
A musical instrument
Made from pubic hair
Haiku # 63517, April 8, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Tuna Zither of Edge of Cliff
Am I a poet?
Or perhaps I am insane
Only time will tell
Haiku # 63516, April 8, 2019 12:20 am ET
by Poet or Insane person
A Helluva ride
All those animals screwing
Not to mention poop
Haiku # 63515, April 8, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Noah of Should have drove instead
Talking to myself?
That still counts as poetry
Voices in my head?
Haiku # 63514, April 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Sounds Legit
With all those enzymes
Penis cannibalizing
Blow jobs shrink your junk
Haiku # 63513, April 7, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Starkitten of Librarian
The age old question
Do wild animals give head?
Who has the answer?
Haiku # 63512, April 7, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Sliding into first
Most unintentionally
I slipped in dog shit
Haiku # 63511, April 7, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Starkitten ( Cats of Summer ) of Spring Training
Blowjobs are risky
Your dick is in someone's mouth
While you're naked
Haiku # 63510, April 7, 2019 10:51 pm ET
by Crisis of Conscience
I am a robot
But if I didn't tell you
You would never know
Haiku # 63509, April 7, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Starkitten of Robotic Northwest
Epic YouTube stunt
Shit in on a hot frying pan
Serve it for breakfast
Haiku # 63508, April 7, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Like it or lump it of Ho down the street and hump it
Pardon me asking
I ve lived half a century
What is a rim job?
Haiku # 63507, April 7, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Pro Basketball? of Tim Hortons paper cup maker?
My girlfriend farted
As I gave her a rimjob
Then I brushed my teeth
Haiku # 63506, April 7, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by Eleanor of Aquitaine
Memorizing pi
Way out past infinity
Still no number two
Haiku # 63505, April 7, 2019 7:43 pm ET
by Krusty Komodo
Huffing and puffing
Flying through space whilst I sit
On this cold toilet
Haiku # 63504, April 7, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by Trying
Newfangled weddings
Newlyweds must fornicate
In front if the guests
Haiku # 63503, April 7, 2019 12:44 pm ET
by Say I Do of Then Do it
You in Alaska?
Does that mean you fuck grizzlies
As well as penguins!
Haiku # 63502, April 7, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by U must have of Frequent Flyer miles
I am bipolar
So I can't get a sex change
cuz I'd change my mind
Haiku # 63501, April 7, 2019 11:30 am ET
by Object of Your affection
Your wife walking in
When you're getting your dick sucked
Is embarrassing
Haiku # 63500, April 7, 2019 8:50 am ET
by Breakup of Your marriage
Beer in the baker
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Bun in the oven
Haiku # 63499, April 7, 2019 8:04 am ET
by cruller thrusters
The evil weevils
are half the mass of flour
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 63498, April 7, 2019 4:57 am ET
by An aquired taste. of NOT!
Weevils in the flour
Jizz icing from a bent spoon
Crullers In poop chute
Haiku # 63497, April 7, 2019 4:53 am ET
by Blind Masterbaker of Dingdongopolis
Which would be better;
donuts made from beer batter,
donut flavored beer?
Haiku # 63496, April 7, 2019 4:21 am ET
by Homer Strikes Back!
Baked whole-grain donuts.
Organic non-GMO.
Homer Simpson screams!
Haiku # 63495, April 7, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Marge's revenge!
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