Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Sometimes I wonder
If I had a vagina
Would I get fucked more?
Haiku # 63526, April 8, 2019 10:41 am ET
by Thoughts of Suicide
Lab results are in
That pubic hair DNA
Match: Edie Brickell
Haiku # 63525, April 8, 2019 8:06 am ET
by Sound of Silence
The pube instrument
has to be a violin.
Stradivarius.
Haiku # 63524, April 8, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Or Steve Martin's banjo.
I've played White Rabbit
for the past six hours now.
I think Alice knows.
Haiku # 63523, April 8, 2019 7:27 am ET
by Fallen Sloppy Dead
Raped by Papa Smurf.
Eating blueberry bagels.
It's all samey same.
Haiku # 63522, April 8, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Damn the antioxidants!
Godzilla's angry
because his cock is so small.
Goddamn Hollywood!
Haiku # 63521, April 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by More realistic.
Great movie idea.
Science fiction Noah's arc.
Like in Doctor Who.

When looking inside
the arc's big as a planet.
It can warp space-time.

And it has lasers
to fight the hordes of Satan
and shoot dinosaurs.

And God's an ET
hyper dimensional kid
toying with His earth.

This is the good part.
Satan's his younger brother
who messes with earth.

After Noah's flood
their mom makes them brush and floss
and then go to bed.

So man is left alone.
When God wakes up he finds that
man destroyed the earth.
Haiku # 63520, April 8, 2019 2:29 am ET
by The effing end!
what would Jesus do
Would he write awesome haiku?
And then would he boast?
Haiku # 63519, April 8, 2019 2:06 am ET
by It's too much ch for me to fathom
Duck billed platypus
Now what the fuck is that thing?
Proof there is no God
Haiku # 63518, April 8, 2019 1:56 am ET
by Dafuq
Just imagine it
A musical instrument
Made from pubic hair
Haiku # 63517, April 8, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Tuna Zither of Edge of Cliff
Am I a poet?
Or perhaps I am insane
Only time will tell
Haiku # 63516, April 8, 2019 12:20 am ET
by Poet or Insane person
A Helluva ride
All those animals screwing
Not to mention poop
Haiku # 63515, April 8, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Noah of Should have drove instead
Talking to myself?
That still counts as poetry
Voices in my head?
Haiku # 63514, April 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Sounds Legit
With all those enzymes
Penis cannibalizing
Blow jobs shrink your junk
Haiku # 63513, April 7, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Starkitten of Librarian
The age old question
Do wild animals give head?
Who has the answer?
Haiku # 63512, April 7, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Sliding into first
Most unintentionally
I slipped in dog shit
Haiku # 63511, April 7, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Starkitten ( Cats of Summer ) of Spring Training
Blowjobs are risky
Your dick is in someone's mouth
While you're naked
Haiku # 63510, April 7, 2019 10:51 pm ET
by Crisis of Conscience
I am a robot
But if I didn't tell you
You would never know
Haiku # 63509, April 7, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Starkitten of Robotic Northwest
Epic YouTube stunt
Shit in on a hot frying pan
Serve it for breakfast
Haiku # 63508, April 7, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Like it or lump it of Ho down the street and hump it
Pardon me asking
I ve lived half a century
What is a rim job?
Haiku # 63507, April 7, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Pro Basketball? of Tim Hortons paper cup maker?
My girlfriend farted
As I gave her a rimjob
Then I brushed my teeth
Haiku # 63506, April 7, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by Eleanor of Aquitaine
Memorizing pi
Way out past infinity
Still no number two
Haiku # 63505, April 7, 2019 7:43 pm ET
by Krusty Komodo
Huffing and puffing
Flying through space whilst I sit
On this cold toilet
Haiku # 63504, April 7, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by Trying
Newfangled weddings
Newlyweds must fornicate
In front if the guests
Haiku # 63503, April 7, 2019 12:44 pm ET
by Say I Do of Then Do it
You in Alaska?
Does that mean you fuck grizzlies
As well as penguins!
Haiku # 63502, April 7, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by U must have of Frequent Flyer miles
I am bipolar
So I can't get a sex change
cuz I'd change my mind
Haiku # 63501, April 7, 2019 11:30 am ET
by Object of Your affection
Your wife walking in
When you're getting your dick sucked
Is embarrassing
Haiku # 63500, April 7, 2019 8:50 am ET
by Breakup of Your marriage
Beer in the baker
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Bun in the oven
Haiku # 63499, April 7, 2019 8:04 am ET
by cruller thrusters
The evil weevils
are half the mass of flour
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 63498, April 7, 2019 4:57 am ET
by An aquired taste. of NOT!
Weevils in the flour
Jizz icing from a bent spoon
Crullers In poop chute
Haiku # 63497, April 7, 2019 4:53 am ET
by Blind Masterbaker of Dingdongopolis
Which would be better;
donuts made from beer batter,
donut flavored beer?
Haiku # 63496, April 7, 2019 4:21 am ET
by Homer Strikes Back!
Baked whole-grain donuts.
Organic non-GMO.
Homer Simpson screams!
Haiku # 63495, April 7, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Marge's revenge!
*Hands over the list.
Sorry, it might be messy.
You've had your shots, right?

I have to say it:
Gives new meaning to "shit-list".
You can't read Coptic?!
Haiku # 63494, April 7, 2019 4:14 am ET
by That's some really old shit right there!
Make a list for me
Everything you can think of
Shove it up your ass
Haiku # 63493, April 7, 2019 2:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Translucent blue tang
Swimming in my toilet bowl
Fishing with my dick
Haiku # 63492, April 7, 2019 12:40 am ET
by William Wanksworth
Chinese factory
New job order plastic gnomes
This time with buttholes
Haiku # 63490, April 6, 2019 11:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Way too much farting
That where the marriage went wrong
During love makings
Haiku # 63489, April 6, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by So horny but nauseous
Way too much farting
That
Haiku # 63488, April 6, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by So horny but nauseous
Tits,boobs,breasts,knockers
Whatever one may call them
They're nice to suck on
Haiku # 63487, April 6, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Prime example of Mental illness
Try something different
Open faced tuna sandwich
Pumpyourschmeckle bread
Haiku # 63486, April 6, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by New Deli
The smell of moonshine.
Can't you hear those old banjos.
Come here, sweet cousin.
Haiku # 63485, April 6, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Garth Sweinbanger
Breakfast decision.
Twat waffles or cunt pancakes.
Cheese-stuffed shlong sausage.

Pig in a blanket.
Only it's ass sticking out.
Hog-tied, so to speak.

Methamphetamine.
Drinking coffee's gotten old.
Delightful twitching.

Arkansas special.
Sausage in ham in blanket.
Condom optional.
Haiku # 63484, April 6, 2019 8:37 pm ET
by Squeal piggy, squeal!
Courtney Love's herpes
Starting at eight thousand bucks
auctioned on Ebay.
Haiku # 63483, April 6, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Get it while it's hot.
Shotgun salvation.
Hollow point revelation.
Dum-dum Nirvana.
Haiku # 63482, April 6, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Dum dum dum dum te dum, dum te dum.
Giving HIV
was a good April Fool's joke.
No apologies.
Haiku # 63481, April 6, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Curt Cobain's words of in your ass
Celibate people
Don't have nearly as much sex
As those who get fucked
Haiku # 63480, April 6, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Master of The obvious
People always whine
Haiku # 63479, April 6, 2019 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hasn t happened yet
Never had one at my door
A real live midget
Haiku # 63478, April 6, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Waiting
Hasn
Haiku # 63477, April 6, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Waiting
Hidden camera
Wow, when no one is looking
You do funny things
Haiku # 63476, April 6, 2019 2:58 pm ET
by Entertained of Fixated
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >