Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Just imagine it
A musical instrument
Made from pubic hair
Haiku # 63517, April 8, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Tuna Zither of Edge of Cliff
Am I a poet?
Or perhaps I am insane
Only time will tell
Haiku # 63516, April 8, 2019 12:20 am ET
by Poet or Insane person
A Helluva ride
All those animals screwing
Not to mention poop
Haiku # 63515, April 8, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Noah of Should have drove instead
Talking to myself?
That still counts as poetry
Voices in my head?
Haiku # 63514, April 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Sounds Legit
With all those enzymes
Penis cannibalizing
Blow jobs shrink your junk
Haiku # 63513, April 7, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Starkitten of Librarian
The age old question
Do wild animals give head?
Who has the answer?
Haiku # 63512, April 7, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library
Sliding into first
Most unintentionally
I slipped in dog shit
Haiku # 63511, April 7, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Starkitten ( Cats of Summer ) of Spring Training
Blowjobs are risky
Your dick is in someone's mouth
While you're naked
Haiku # 63510, April 7, 2019 10:51 pm ET
by Crisis of Conscience
I am a robot
But if I didn't tell you
You would never know
Haiku # 63509, April 7, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Starkitten of Robotic Northwest
Epic YouTube stunt
Shit in on a hot frying pan
Serve it for breakfast
Haiku # 63508, April 7, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Like it or lump it of Ho down the street and hump it
Pardon me asking
I ve lived half a century
What is a rim job?
Haiku # 63507, April 7, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Pro Basketball? of Tim Hortons paper cup maker?
My girlfriend farted
As I gave her a rimjob
Then I brushed my teeth
Haiku # 63506, April 7, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by Eleanor of Aquitaine
Memorizing pi
Way out past infinity
Still no number two
Haiku # 63505, April 7, 2019 7:43 pm ET
by Krusty Komodo
Huffing and puffing
Flying through space whilst I sit
On this cold toilet
Haiku # 63504, April 7, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by Trying
Newfangled weddings
Newlyweds must fornicate
In front if the guests
Haiku # 63503, April 7, 2019 12:44 pm ET
by Say I Do of Then Do it
You in Alaska?
Does that mean you fuck grizzlies
As well as penguins!
Haiku # 63502, April 7, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by U must have of Frequent Flyer miles
I am bipolar
So I can't get a sex change
cuz I'd change my mind
Haiku # 63501, April 7, 2019 11:30 am ET
by Object of Your affection
Your wife walking in
When you're getting your dick sucked
Is embarrassing
Haiku # 63500, April 7, 2019 8:50 am ET
by Breakup of Your marriage
Beer in the baker
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Bun in the oven
Haiku # 63499, April 7, 2019 8:04 am ET
by cruller thrusters
The evil weevils
are half the mass of flour
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 63498, April 7, 2019 4:57 am ET
by An aquired taste. of NOT!
Weevils in the flour
Jizz icing from a bent spoon
Crullers In poop chute
Haiku # 63497, April 7, 2019 4:53 am ET
by Blind Masterbaker of Dingdongopolis
Which would be better;
donuts made from beer batter,
donut flavored beer?
Haiku # 63496, April 7, 2019 4:21 am ET
by Homer Strikes Back!
Baked whole-grain donuts.
Organic non-GMO.
Homer Simpson screams!
Haiku # 63495, April 7, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Marge's revenge!
*Hands over the list.
Sorry, it might be messy.
You've had your shots, right?

I have to say it:
Gives new meaning to "shit-list".
You can't read Coptic?!
Haiku # 63494, April 7, 2019 4:14 am ET
by That's some really old shit right there!
Make a list for me
Everything you can think of
Shove it up your ass
Haiku # 63493, April 7, 2019 2:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Translucent blue tang
Swimming in my toilet bowl
Fishing with my dick
Haiku # 63492, April 7, 2019 12:40 am ET
by William Wanksworth
Chinese factory
New job order plastic gnomes
This time with buttholes
Haiku # 63490, April 6, 2019 11:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Way too much farting
That where the marriage went wrong
During love makings
Haiku # 63489, April 6, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by So horny but nauseous
Way too much farting
That
Haiku # 63488, April 6, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by So horny but nauseous
Tits,boobs,breasts,knockers
Whatever one may call them
They're nice to suck on
Haiku # 63487, April 6, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Prime example of Mental illness
Try something different
Open faced tuna sandwich
Pumpyourschmeckle bread
Haiku # 63486, April 6, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by New Deli
The smell of moonshine.
Can't you hear those old banjos.
Come here, sweet cousin.
Haiku # 63485, April 6, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Garth Sweinbanger
Breakfast decision.
Twat waffles or cunt pancakes.
Cheese-stuffed shlong sausage.

Pig in a blanket.
Only it's ass sticking out.
Hog-tied, so to speak.

Methamphetamine.
Drinking coffee's gotten old.
Delightful twitching.

Arkansas special.
Sausage in ham in blanket.
Condom optional.
Haiku # 63484, April 6, 2019 8:37 pm ET
by Squeal piggy, squeal!
Courtney Love's herpes
Starting at eight thousand bucks
auctioned on Ebay.
Haiku # 63483, April 6, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Get it while it's hot.
Shotgun salvation.
Hollow point revelation.
Dum-dum Nirvana.
Haiku # 63482, April 6, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Dum dum dum dum te dum, dum te dum.
Giving HIV
was a good April Fool's joke.
No apologies.
Haiku # 63481, April 6, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Curt Cobain's words of in your ass
Celibate people
Don't have nearly as much sex
As those who get fucked
Haiku # 63480, April 6, 2019 7:30 pm ET
by Master of The obvious
People always whine
Haiku # 63479, April 6, 2019 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hasn t happened yet
Never had one at my door
A real live midget
Haiku # 63478, April 6, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Waiting
Hasn
Haiku # 63477, April 6, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Waiting
Hidden camera
Wow, when no one is looking
You do funny things
Haiku # 63476, April 6, 2019 2:58 pm ET
by Entertained of Fixated
went to a restaurant
Served imitation crab meat
Paid with play money
Haiku # 63475, April 6, 2019 2:47 pm ET
by Leg humper
I farted five times
Then I farted seven times
Farting five more now
Haiku # 63474, April 6, 2019 2:13 pm ET
by Pooet of Shopping for new pants
Saying I had AIDS
Was a cruel April fools joke
I apologize
Haiku # 63473, April 6, 2019 10:06 am ET
by Possessor of the AIDS virus(just kidding LOL)
The Haiku Police
Are coming to get you Darth.
We watch live on COPS!
Haiku # 63472, April 6, 2019 7:32 am ET
by What'cha Gonna Do of When They Come For U
Hot dog ministry
Brings everyone to the yard
Zip up your fly, please
Haiku # 63471, April 6, 2019 2:43 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
No faking it here
I wear a midget strap on
He just keeps licking
Haiku # 63470, April 6, 2019 2:07 am ET
by No batteries of With my shawty
You're in good standing
Trump has a micro chone
Don't sell yourself short
Haiku # 63469, April 6, 2019 2:04 am ET
by Washroom goer
I've a tiny dick
If you fake your orgasm
I will understand
Haiku # 63468, April 6, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Reason of for your wife's disinterest
Precise measurements
Just the right amount of poop
One heaping pants load
Haiku # 63467, April 6, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nerd watch
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