BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
350 Days
and
68534 Haikus
later...
Mad Mushroom Pizza
Tasted good on my burnt tongue
Your lips are better!
Haiku #63569, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:12 pm ET

Semen on your hands?
You will grow hair on your palms
Look into my eyes
Haiku #63568, by Anonymous Poet
April 9, 2019 6:10 pm ET

There's no argument
Expression through taking shits
Like writing poems
Haiku #63567, by Excuse me, I mean taking Tootsie Rolls.
April 9, 2019 6:08 pm ET

Mathematics Spears!
Galvanizing rhetoric
Simple Love Cedric!
Haiku #63566, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:04 pm ET

If I saw man hands
naked, I'd have to fuck her
blackmail leverage
Haiku #63565, by Ledge of Kentucky
April 9, 2019 6:00 pm ET

Seen limping away
Caravan of so called "poets"
Look into my eyes
Haiku #63564, by Poetry Robot of Front and center
April 9, 2019 5:27 pm ET

We can all agree
Expression through poetry
Like taking a shit
Haiku #63563, by Grunt of Oval of office
April 9, 2019 2:32 pm ET

The cars got smaller
Just get the windows tinted
Jerk off something
Haiku #63562, by Memory Lane
April 9, 2019 9:41 am ET

Meng Chiao and Li Po
will kick our sorry asses
for writing this stuff
Haiku #63561, by Omens and Fantasms of Malevolence from Tiger Cloud-Forest
April 9, 2019 9:19 am ET

First time held her hand
Can't remember what movie
Felt like a rocket
Haiku #63560, by Found her pic online 40 years later of She is STILL super HOT !
April 9, 2019 9:12 am ET

Conceived in back seats
Parked. Steaming up the windows
When we had sex drives
Haiku #63559, by All coming back to me of Boone's Farm
April 9, 2019 7:24 am ET

Judah and Tamar:
for a goat and signet ring
he notarized it.
Haiku #63558, by Genesis 38 of Highway To Heaven
April 9, 2019 7:22 am ET

If you want to fook
just fook- ask for permission
Get it notarized.

That way- no go jail
What hellish! modern! bull chit!
I miss the sixties
Haiku #63557, by Rolang of Hell I wouldn't know
April 9, 2019 5:14 am ET

Reikan Buddha Eye
Indication- you can see
Things that others can't
Haiku #63556, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 9, 2019 5:03 am ET

Meng Chiao saw ghosts
put down his verse to explain
What most never see.
Haiku #63555, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 9, 2019 4:51 am ET

Meng Chiao saw ghosts
put down his verse to explain
What most never see.
Haiku #63554, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 9, 2019 4:50 am ET

Li Po practiced sword
And killed others in duels-
then wrote a poem
Haiku #63553, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 9, 2019 4:48 am ET

Another lost fang
All compound things destroyed
Its Ok by me
Haiku #63552, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
April 9, 2019 4:38 am ET

My dick is so small
That it looks like a pussy
And I'm not joking
Haiku #63551, by Dick of A child
April 9, 2019 3:02 am ET

Louisville slugger
How you wield your flugelhorn
Makes all the difference
Haiku #63550, by Vas deferens
April 9, 2019 12:43 am ET

It's been a long time
The haiku is overgrown
But I cleared a path
Haiku #63549, by Return of the poet of Bad Haiku
April 9, 2019 12:41 am ET

If I had a wife
As long as his dick's bigger
She could cheat on me
Haiku #63548, by Measure of A man
April 9, 2019 12:40 am ET

Tingling sensation
Molesting the elderly
That tube was NOT lube
Haiku #63547, by Ben Gay of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 8, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Enthusiasm
In the world of Poetry
Translates as: boner
Haiku #63546, by Rural Guido of Leaning against fencepost. Wait, that's my penis
April 8, 2019 11:20 pm ET

What kind of webpage
Is this? I like the layout
For the webmaster
Haiku #63545, by dvd
April 8, 2019 10:24 pm ET

don't forget starkitten
i think her and df are having a kid
gonna name it darth starpucker iirc
vhs got bored
i come here when my antennaes
and wings get that funny
tingling sensation
Haiku #63544, by MONARCH
April 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET

Now Ben and Jacob
have to tolerate the Darth.
Should be interesting.
Haiku #63543, by Anonymous Poet
April 8, 2019 9:53 pm ET

Sweet is defined by
The sharp contrast between it
And the sourness
Haiku #63542, by alfamike
April 8, 2019 9:32 pm ET

Add Bailey's liqueur.
Liven's up any coffee.
Disguises the cum.
Haiku #63541, by My secretaries will never know!
April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET

Sleep paralysis
Traumatize myself at night
Bilocational
Haiku #63540, by MANMOTH of here and there
April 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET

I look to the rock
From which I was been - makes me
Feel like a pebble
Haiku #63539, by Jacob ben Jacob
April 8, 2019 9:21 pm ET

Exiting cocoon
Blood pumps and fills fragile wings
Vulner-ability
Haiku #63538, by MONARCH
April 8, 2019 9:20 pm ET

Quite unlike your wife,
as the gigolos will say,
you had that coming.
Haiku #63537, by Louis Prima, Bing Crosby, or David Lee Roth?
April 8, 2019 9:19 pm ET

Diluting poison
A stream of living water
Time is running out
Haiku #63536, by Ben Dalet of the well
April 8, 2019 9:18 pm ET

Ignore the trolls here
Like a bad cup of coffee
Cold and so bitter
Haiku #63535, by Ben Dalet of moving forward
April 8, 2019 9:16 pm ET

Reciprocity
Door to the soul is ajar
No expectation
Haiku #63534, by Ben Dalet of a gray place
April 8, 2019 9:15 pm ET

Are they brown because
you're completely full of shit?
That was my question.
Haiku #63533, by You should go into agriculture, selling truckloads of fertilizer.
April 8, 2019 9:13 pm ET

Look into my eyes
Please get back to me later
If you have questions
Haiku #63532, by Anonymous Poet
April 8, 2019 6:31 pm ET

Comes with a warning
"Contents under high pressure!"
That's my cue to fart
Haiku #63531, by Stand Back! SCREAMED IN THE SHRILL VOICE of OF STEVIE NICKS
April 8, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Rimjobs are risky
She could fart at any time
Or dare I say worse
Haiku #63530, by Definition of A hedonist
April 8, 2019 4:30 pm ET

Asking for a friend
If a dinosaur jerks off
Does he come purple?
Haiku #63529, by Barney
April 8, 2019 10:59 am ET

Noah's ark unfair
Dinosaurs got a rain check
Only one survived
Haiku #63528, by Barney
April 8, 2019 10:57 am ET

Not very likely
But you could hide booze bottles
Up there in your snatch
Haiku #63527, by Noticed of Details
April 8, 2019 10:55 am ET

Sometimes I wonder
If I had a vagina
Would I get fucked more?
Haiku #63526, by Thoughts of Suicide
April 8, 2019 10:41 am ET

Lab results are in
That pubic hair DNA
Match: Edie Brickell
Haiku #63525, by Sound of Silence
April 8, 2019 8:06 am ET

The pube instrument
has to be a violin.
Stradivarius.
Haiku #63524, by Or Steve Martin's banjo.
April 8, 2019 7:39 am ET

I've played White Rabbit
for the past six hours now.
I think Alice knows.
Haiku #63523, by Fallen Sloppy Dead
April 8, 2019 7:27 am ET

Raped by Papa Smurf.
Eating blueberry bagels.
It's all samey same.
Haiku #63522, by Damn the antioxidants!
April 8, 2019 4:16 am ET

Godzilla's angry
because his cock is so small.
Goddamn Hollywood!
Haiku #63521, by More realistic.
April 8, 2019 4:13 am ET

Great movie idea.
Science fiction Noah's arc.
Like in Doctor Who.

When looking inside
the arc's big as a planet.
It can warp space-time.

And it has lasers
to fight the hordes of Satan
and shoot dinosaurs.

And God's an ET
hyper dimensional kid
toying with His earth.

This is the good part.
Satan's his younger brother
who messes with earth.

After Noah's flood
their mom makes them brush and floss
and then go to bed.

So man is left alone.
When God wakes up he finds that
man destroyed the earth.
Haiku #63520, by The effing end!
April 8, 2019 2:29 am ET