BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
102 Days
and
66953 Haikus
later...
The rotten bastards
Were supposed to fix the house
They fooked it up worse

It seems those days
No one knows their GD job
incompetent fools!
Haiku #61912, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Most Americans
have no idea about
Venezuela's fate
Haiku #61911, by Maracas of Caracas
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Dull behaviorists
Pavlov and B.F. Skinner.
What a bunch of twits.
Haiku #61910, by Piaget Too
January 31, 2019 12:48 pm ET

aw who am i kidding
responses stimulus and
do it all over
Haiku #61909, by vhs of rewind
January 31, 2019 8:47 am ET

sit back to camp go
fishing real people, fuck this
this is meaningless
Haiku #61908, by vhs
January 31, 2019 8:34 am ET

something like blah blah blah
yada yada yada
pretty much this is
Haiku #61907, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:13 am ET

there is nothing more
to say but quietly send
the clowns far away
Haiku #61906, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:05 am ET

intimidation
and offense, unashamed
of their evil ways
Haiku #61905, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:03 am ET

Cry crocodile tears
Go now, cry in your stale beers
Cry me a river
Haiku #61904, by Whiner
January 31, 2019 4:02 am ET

Investigators
They come from Florida
Reptiles. Stocks and Bonds
Haiku #61903, by Crocodile Purse of Laughing all the way to the bank
January 31, 2019 3:59 am ET

nothing to guess pearls thrown
to swine are trampled then they
turn to rend others
Haiku #61902, by vhs
January 31, 2019 2:51 am ET

Are the waffles blue
And if so, that is your clue
The chef was guess who
Haiku #61901, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET

waffle house is just
freaking heaven and i dont
talk food too much, y'all
Haiku #61900, by vhs of send waffle house to yankee lands, right away!
January 30, 2019 8:31 pm ET

Oh not this again
Someone said we breathe the farts
Of Adolph Hitler
Haiku #61899, by He stinx
January 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET

The Hero returns
Fresh battle scars and tall tales
But now, let us feast!
Haiku #61898, by Hamberders for everyone
January 30, 2019 4:32 pm ET

Only one person
talks about poo rubbing off...
And who might that be?
Haiku #61897, by The Mighty Darth of Figpuckery
January 30, 2019 3:37 pm ET

Someone
Haiku #61896, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Is this really true?
Their greatness rubs off on you?
How about the poo?
Haiku #61895, by I love Haiku
January 30, 2019 1:49 pm ET

Don't usually do this but I though of all of you fellow Haikooks:

(...When you write a haiku, the masters from Matsuo Basho to Kobayashi Issa are also remembered, and your readers give a mental nod in their direction. Some of their excellence rubs off on your work, merely through you applying the discipline of the form.)

from M. Bijman:
https://sevencircumstances.com/poetry-and-lyrics/why-i-hate-poetry/
Haiku #61894, by Matsuo Koboyashi of 575 High Ku Ave.
January 30, 2019 11:44 am ET

Time waits for no one-
its a damn good fooking thing
when times up- thats it.
Haiku #61893, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:17 am ET

I held open-door
She said "chivalry not dead"
Was thinking.. with head
Haiku #61892, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:10 am ET

Home depot or hell?
Wander around- can't find chit
Hell same--as depot-
Haiku #61891, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:00 am ET

Caveman rebellion:
Time to storm projection room
(Plato's Cave Act II)
Haiku #61890, by True Illumination of Eternal Day
January 30, 2019 5:56 am ET

there comes a time when
real life wins, no answer back
no more platos cave
Haiku #61889, by vhs
January 30, 2019 4:41 am ET

i still get mad at
the critiques out there but you
know this...learn to code
Haiku #61888, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:34 am ET

censorship on line
the modern terror, gulags
empty headed skulls
Haiku #61887, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:33 am ET

move on from the plat
form that mocks thy content and
let then speak to void
Haiku #61886, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:31 am ET

And for no reason
People just started hugging
All over the world
Haiku #61885, by This gave me a boner
January 30, 2019 1:27 am ET

I've said it before
You know I'll say it again
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku #61884, by Red Snapper of Fish Market
January 30, 2019 12:41 am ET

Remember the time
You took the axe from your trunk
Fun in the graveyard
Haiku #61883, by French Kissers of Graveyard
January 30, 2019 12:38 am ET

Eagles hate the man
He emulates seagull style
Falls flat on his face
Haiku #61882, by Lunchmeat president of Garbage chute
January 29, 2019 11:21 pm ET

if iran is so far
away, and it could not get
away, oh wrong lyrics!
Haiku #61881, by bloody flock of seagulls it was i swear! of deink vhs
January 29, 2019 10:37 pm ET

Meow and meow
Will anyone hear me now
Lost up in this tree?
Haiku #61880, by Starkitten of Treetops
January 29, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Don't mind if I do
One person with junk of two
Give myself a screw
Haiku #61879, by Conjoined headless something or other of Freak Show
January 29, 2019 6:59 pm ET

Intersectional
Cisgender-based buzz
Pure incoherence
Haiku #61878, by Ha Ha of Only 2 Genders
January 29, 2019 5:26 pm ET

Starkitten! Descend.
Come down off of that tree branch.
You are way too high.
Haiku #61877, by Ladder of Local Fire Dept.
January 29, 2019 2:18 pm ET

Intoxicating
Fizzy Haiku Elixir
Don
Haiku #61876, by High AF starkitten of Cloud 5-7-5
January 29, 2019 1:47 pm ET

Haiku will save us.
Haiku will defeat evil.
Count syllables. Yup.
Haiku #61875, by Triumphal Entry into the Immortal Halls of Glory upon Parnassus' Holy Peak
January 29, 2019 8:06 am ET

Let the poems flow
Something for everyone here
Don't give up on it
Haiku #61874, by Anonymous Poet
January 28, 2019 11:18 pm ET

The only reason
Haiku has been ridiculed
It's ridiculous
Haiku #61873, by Poem in my bum
January 28, 2019 11:16 pm ET

This wrinkly flesh rod
The patent holder is God
The Holy Boomstick
Haiku #61872, by Triskelion (yawn) of 3 legged race
January 28, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Dude. Whip that thing out
In five-seven-five haiku.
That's IT? What a joke.
Haiku #61871, by Flash of Inspiration
January 28, 2019 6:52 pm ET

Measure for measure
It's a national treasure
Designed for Pleasure
Haiku #61870, by Anonymous Poet
January 28, 2019 6:13 pm ET

I pity da fool
Who thinks he's got a big tool
Mine is the longest
Haiku #61869, by Anonymous Poet
January 28, 2019 6:12 pm ET

To never get past
membranes, glands, body fluids...
Pity that poet!
Haiku #61868, by Poet of Show It
January 28, 2019 5:52 pm ET

I dream of Jeanie
Now then, Did she menstruate?
Or Blink it away?
Haiku #61867, by Viewer of In front of screen
January 28, 2019 5:14 pm ET

Mona Lisa smile
Barbara Walters lisping smile
Smile Vertically
Haiku #61866, by Guy Smiley
January 28, 2019 5:11 pm ET

Whatever you want
I guarantee you it's here
On this fine website
Haiku #61865, by Fan
January 28, 2019 5:09 pm ET

That Mona Walter
and Ayaan Hirsi Ali:
women for our age.

https://tinyurl.com/yd43zl24

https://tinyurl.com/ybrqeax9
Haiku #61864, by Galab Wanaagsan of Kushitic Punt
January 28, 2019 2:09 pm ET

Walk into the gloom
Yes, it's all waiting for you
You will blend right in
Haiku #61863, by Gray Person
January 28, 2019 3:39 am ET