Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 116 Days and 70236 Haikus later...

there is nothing more
to say but quietly send
the clowns far away
Haiku # 61906, January 31, 2019 7:05 am ET
by vhs
intimidation
and offense, unashamed
of their evil ways
Haiku # 61905, January 31, 2019 7:03 am ET
by vhs
Cry crocodile tears
Go now, cry in your stale beers
Cry me a river
Haiku # 61904, January 31, 2019 4:02 am ET
by Whiner
Investigators
They come from Florida
Reptiles. Stocks and Bonds
Haiku # 61903, January 31, 2019 3:59 am ET
by Crocodile Purse of Laughing all the way to the bank
nothing to guess pearls thrown
to swine are trampled then they
turn to rend others
Haiku # 61902, January 31, 2019 2:51 am ET
by vhs
Are the waffles blue
And if so, that is your clue
The chef was guess who
Haiku # 61901, January 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
waffle house is just
freaking heaven and i dont
talk food too much, y'all
Haiku # 61900, January 30, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by vhs of send waffle house to yankee lands, right away!
Oh not this again
Someone said we breathe the farts
Of Adolph Hitler
Haiku # 61899, January 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by He stinx
The Hero returns
Fresh battle scars and tall tales
But now, let us feast!
Haiku # 61898, January 30, 2019 4:32 pm ET
by Hamberders for everyone
Only one person
talks about poo rubbing off...
And who might that be?
Haiku # 61897, January 30, 2019 3:37 pm ET
by The Mighty Darth of Figpuckery
Someone
Haiku # 61896, January 30, 2019 3:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Is this really true?
Their greatness rubs off on you?
How about the poo?
Haiku # 61895, January 30, 2019 1:49 pm ET
by I love Haiku
Don't usually do this but I though of all of you fellow Haikooks:

(...When you write a haiku, the masters from Matsuo Basho to Kobayashi Issa are also remembered, and your readers give a mental nod in their direction. Some of their excellence rubs off on your work, merely through you applying the discipline of the form.)

from M. Bijman:
https://sevencircumstances.com/poetry-and-lyrics/why-i-hate-poetry/
Haiku # 61894, January 30, 2019 11:44 am ET
by Matsuo Koboyashi of 575 High Ku Ave.
Time waits for no one-
its a damn good fooking thing
when times up- thats it.
Haiku # 61893, January 30, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
I held open-door
She said "chivalry not dead"
Was thinking.. with head
Haiku # 61892, January 30, 2019 6:10 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Home depot or hell?
Wander around- can't find chit
Hell same--as depot-
Haiku # 61891, January 30, 2019 6:00 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Caveman rebellion:
Time to storm projection room
(Plato's Cave Act II)
Haiku # 61890, January 30, 2019 5:56 am ET
by True Illumination of Eternal Day
there comes a time when
real life wins, no answer back
no more platos cave
Haiku # 61889, January 30, 2019 4:41 am ET
by vhs
i still get mad at
the critiques out there but you
know this...learn to code
Haiku # 61888, January 30, 2019 3:34 am ET
by vhs
censorship on line
the modern terror, gulags
empty headed skulls
Haiku # 61887, January 30, 2019 3:33 am ET
by vhs
move on from the plat
form that mocks thy content and
let then speak to void
Haiku # 61886, January 30, 2019 3:31 am ET
by vhs
And for no reason
People just started hugging
All over the world
Haiku # 61885, January 30, 2019 1:27 am ET
by This gave me a boner
I've said it before
You know I'll say it again
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 61884, January 30, 2019 12:41 am ET
by Red Snapper of Fish Market
Remember the time
You took the axe from your trunk
Fun in the graveyard
Haiku # 61883, January 30, 2019 12:38 am ET
by French Kissers of Graveyard
Eagles hate the man
He emulates seagull style
Falls flat on his face
Haiku # 61882, January 29, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Lunchmeat president of Garbage chute
if iran is so far
away, and it could not get
away, oh wrong lyrics!
Haiku # 61881, January 29, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by bloody flock of seagulls it was i swear! of deink vhs
Meow and meow
Will anyone hear me now
Lost up in this tree?
Haiku # 61880, January 29, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of Treetops
Don't mind if I do
One person with junk of two
Give myself a screw
Haiku # 61879, January 29, 2019 6:59 pm ET
by Conjoined headless something or other of Freak Show
Intersectional
Cisgender-based buzz
Pure incoherence
Haiku # 61878, January 29, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by Ha Ha of Only 2 Genders
Starkitten! Descend.
Come down off of that tree branch.
You are way too high.
Haiku # 61877, January 29, 2019 2:18 pm ET
by Ladder of Local Fire Dept.
Intoxicating
Fizzy Haiku Elixir
Don
Haiku # 61876, January 29, 2019 1:47 pm ET
by High AF starkitten of Cloud 5-7-5
Haiku will save us.
Haiku will defeat evil.
Count syllables. Yup.
Haiku # 61875, January 29, 2019 8:06 am ET
by Triumphal Entry into the Immortal Halls of Glory upon Parnassus' Holy Peak
Let the poems flow
Something for everyone here
Don't give up on it
Haiku # 61874, January 28, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The only reason
Haiku has been ridiculed
It's ridiculous
Haiku # 61873, January 28, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by Poem in my bum
This wrinkly flesh rod
The patent holder is God
The Holy Boomstick
Haiku # 61872, January 28, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Triskelion (yawn) of 3 legged race
Dude. Whip that thing out
In five-seven-five haiku.
That's IT? What a joke.
Haiku # 61871, January 28, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Flash of Inspiration
Measure for measure
It's a national treasure
Designed for Pleasure
Haiku # 61870, January 28, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I pity da fool
Who thinks he's got a big tool
Mine is the longest
Haiku # 61869, January 28, 2019 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
To never get past
membranes, glands, body fluids...
Pity that poet!
Haiku # 61868, January 28, 2019 5:52 pm ET
by Poet of Show It
I dream of Jeanie
Now then, Did she menstruate?
Or Blink it away?
Haiku # 61867, January 28, 2019 5:14 pm ET
by Viewer of In front of screen
Mona Lisa smile
Barbara Walters lisping smile
Smile Vertically
Haiku # 61866, January 28, 2019 5:11 pm ET
by Guy Smiley
Whatever you want
I guarantee you it's here
On this fine website
Haiku # 61865, January 28, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Fan
That Mona Walter
and Ayaan Hirsi Ali:
women for our age.

https://tinyurl.com/yd43zl24

https://tinyurl.com/ybrqeax9
Haiku # 61864, January 28, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Galab Wanaagsan of Kushitic Punt
Walk into the gloom
Yes, it's all waiting for you
You will blend right in
Haiku # 61863, January 28, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Gray Person
Ghosts are a problem
Like when they sit behind you
Making pottery
Haiku # 61862, January 28, 2019 3:35 am ET
by Demi
of course i do, who?
i used to chew, tobacco
now i dont do that
Haiku # 61861, January 27, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
The Pope had to poop
Squishing would not work this time
Too late, shit his gown
Haiku # 61860, January 27, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by Shatagain City
Praying at the moon
Christian Werewolf here to serve
And play the oldies
Haiku # 61859, January 27, 2019 9:44 pm ET
by Bee Bop a loo ba

Seems like you finally
Got that five-seven-five thing
down consistently
Haiku # 61858, January 27, 2019 7:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
someone directed
inspirational christian
stuff to my twitter!!!
Haiku # 61857, January 27, 2019 7:11 pm ET
by vhs of not an inspirational Christian
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