Bend over and smile
Got your best side. Now, pout..
I didn't say SHIT!!
by Perv
Great Barrier Queef
Hey now, There's an adventure
For the strong of nose
by Sniffy
My son has seizures
Was on a respirator
I never huffed. Puffed
by Saw lots of Dead shows of Had shrooms, lsd I prefer Zevia, cereal and peace and quiet
I don't like haiku,
but post here to be a troll.
Inhales queef balloon.
Just say N2O.
Nitrous oxide funny gas.
Huffed them at Dead shows.
Watch the gas-heads "fish".
Meaning flop around like mad.
A mild seizure.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Who needs oxygen anyway?!
Skligor va celgo
Minsca jora pranka jor
Sligor va droya
by Sligor of Celgo
Ed Sullivan's Ghost:
Ed died sucking his own prong
A really big spew
by TV Guide of Ebay
The bear's on the roof
Jacking off his greasy dink
That's why your head's wet
by Park Ranger of Denali
Pow! in the kisser
Jump Back,
Pervert Dentist
Laughing Gas Fartload!!
by Dick Cavity of Dentist office parking lot
Jizzim prism lisp.
Four in five dentithtth agree.
Gargle gargoyle!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Jizzim lips lips lips
Jizzim lips lips lips lips lips
Jizzim Jizzim lips
by Jizzim Lips
Snazz noot savoot
Cuntfart cuntfart toot patoot
Oat potential poop
by Zanook of Zkeezork
Bestiality
in asses' ass my poo worm
is all you deserve.
Half-assed ass-whole, wholly holy frijoles free jollies jollybeans and Reagon's ray-gun beat meat sweet treat teat defeat and an ice cream Sunday on the side chick.
by Poot!
Donated a few
Figured someone could use them
Smelly egger farts
by Not a Hen of I think you know where
happy birthday unhappy to see
what still happens we cannot stop
we can only live and mourn
by Not a Haiku
everything that happens
in this life happens again and again
and it shouldnt happen but it does
by Not a Haiku
Halloween Murders
Thoughts and prayers for the families
More candy for us!
by Sweet tooth
Online love affair
Long distance inflammation
Sorry, wrong number
by Walton's Mountain resident of Ike Godzey's store
You are infected.
Provide bar stool sample please.
Now we can help you.
by providing stool sample there is hope of purgation
Insemination
Now the seed has been planted
Anal Beanstalk, Grow!
by Using our imaginathions
Five o'clock somewhere
I'm not much of a drinker
Like a stiff one, though
by Parrot head of Margaritaville
It's God and Devil
and God and Devil and God
And Devil and God
by Andy D'eville of Barstool
Bestiality
In half-assed Haiku verse form
Is the best you got?
by and by you will appear before the Lord of Glory
Dented his forehead
Breakdancing Taz devil style
With happy ending
by Repairman of Forehead dent and ding
I wonder if Darth
Vader force-chokes his chicken.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
If so, that would be
crispy fried force-choked chicken.
Cock-a-doodle-don't.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
In the olden days
they called the olden days "yor".
You're not all that old.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I need Randolph's time machine.
In the olden days
they called the olden days "yor".
You are not so old.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Get it on both hands
Then you really got the clap
Round of applause, now
by Werewolf of London
One of the brothers
Had a hand covered with hair
Beginner Werewolf
Yes, they were inbred
by Anonymous Poet
In the olden days
People entertained themselves
With masturbation
by Masturbator of Olden days
I'm praying for you
I hope you are o.k., friend
My cat sends a meow
by Anonymous Poet
Columbia House
I won't ever be paying
Those records and tapes
by Anonymous Poet
That fake nail bomber
Looks like Christopher Walken
But can he tap dance?
by Da Bomb of Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Thought you were drowning
Jerking off an octopus?
They have 8 arms, dude
by Puzzled of The ocean is weird
You ever wonder
what sane people think when they
read the shite on here?
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Downward Facing Darth
Your Yoga pants tell story
X rated so far
by Storytime of Bad Haiku
Please don't suck my dick.
I can handle that myself.
Yoga has paid off.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Randolph was near bald.
He walked just like a big foot
with no muscle tone.
He often spoke of
sorority house orgy
gang bang fantasies.
His forehead was huge
and slightly dented inwards
like from a bad wreck.
He was expelled from
the physics grad school but still
read all the journals.
I'm sure they loved him
showing up uninvited
to symposia.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Improved Lava Lamp
With Aromatherapy
Fill with your own poop
by Groovy of As seen on tv
What do you call it?
Rear end smells like dead bodies
After washing it
by Smelly
Registered to vote
Some day I'll be president!
John Boy Walton's MOLE
by Anonymous Poet
Immortal poet
My soul shall live in Haiku.
Should I drink more beer?
by by Miss American Beer of grammar can suck my lexical comprehension
Show me your gonads
Don't bother sprucing them up now
You got ugly junk!
by Anonymous Poet
Cheese fart Cheese fart queef
Cheese fart anus spring roll queef
Cheese fart toast puke spew
by Anonymous Poet
I met Randolph once
Shared an elevator ride
Looked just like you, dude
by Using the alias Randolph, you fool no one of Shaft
I knew a strange chap.
Randolph was a physicist.
Or that's what he claimed.
His diet consists
of bologna, Velveeta,
and white Rainbow bread.
His chosen career
was selling his plasma at
local blood bank.
His aroma was...
how to put it politely...
less than appealing.
His theories were odd.
I think he went back in time.
At least I hope so.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Writing bad haiku
keeps your jiggly ass in chair.
Go out for a walk.
While out for a walk
throw some rocks at old people
and kick a puppy.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Ran into myself
Thought someone was stalking me
It was my HUGE ass
by Writing bad Haiku you get jiggly ass of Chair
Voices in your head?
Maybe it's God Almighty
It could be Satan
by Introducing yourself you might seem civilized of Hiding from Smoters
Granola goat milk
kale carrot veggie juice
fuck it eat Cheetos.
by Hell yeah I want Cheesy Poofs! of South Park, CO
