BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
344 Days
and
68441 Haikus
later...
My son has seizures
Was on a respirator
I never huffed. Puffed
Haiku #60513, by Saw lots of Dead shows of Had shrooms, lsd I prefer Zevia, cereal and peace and quiet
October 28, 2018 3:22 am ET

I don't like haiku,
but post here to be a troll.
Inhales queef balloon.

Just say N2O.
Nitrous oxide funny gas.
Huffed them at Dead shows.

Watch the gas-heads "fish".
Meaning flop around like mad.
A mild seizure.
Haiku #60512, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Who needs oxygen anyway?!
October 28, 2018 2:44 am ET

Skligor va celgo
Minsca jora pranka jor
Sligor va droya
Haiku #60511, by Sligor of Celgo
October 28, 2018 12:25 am ET

Ed Sullivan's Ghost:
Ed died sucking his own prong
A really big spew
Haiku #60510, by TV Guide of Ebay
October 28, 2018 12:14 am ET

The bear's on the roof
Jacking off his greasy dink
That's why your head's wet
Haiku #60509, by Park Ranger of Denali
October 28, 2018 12:12 am ET

Pow! in the kisser
Jump Back,
Pervert Dentist
Laughing Gas Fartload!!
Haiku #60508, by Dick Cavity of Dentist office parking lot
October 28, 2018 12:10 am ET

Jizzim prism lisp.
Four in five dentithtth agree.
Gargle gargoyle!
Haiku #60507, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 27, 2018 10:46 pm ET

Jizzim lips lips lips
Jizzim lips lips lips lips lips
Jizzim Jizzim lips
Haiku #60506, by Jizzim Lips
October 27, 2018 9:16 pm ET

Snazz noot savoot
Cuntfart cuntfart toot patoot
Oat potential poop
Haiku #60505, by Zanook of Zkeezork
October 27, 2018 9:12 pm ET

Bestiality
in asses' ass my poo worm
is all you deserve.

Half-assed ass-whole, wholly holy frijoles free jollies jollybeans and Reagon's ray-gun beat meat sweet treat teat defeat and an ice cream Sunday on the side chick.
Haiku #60504, by Poot!
October 27, 2018 8:57 pm ET

Donated a few
Figured someone could use them
Smelly egger farts
Haiku #60503, by Not a Hen of I think you know where
October 27, 2018 8:57 pm ET

happy birthday unhappy to see
what still happens we cannot stop
we can only live and mourn
Haiku #60502, by Not a Haiku
October 27, 2018 5:33 pm ET

everything that happens
in this life happens again and again
and it shouldnt happen but it does
Haiku #60501, by Not a Haiku
October 27, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Halloween Murders
Thoughts and prayers for the families
More candy for us!
Haiku #60500, by Sweet tooth
October 27, 2018 5:27 pm ET

Online love affair
Long distance inflammation
Sorry, wrong number
Haiku #60499, by Walton's Mountain resident of Ike Godzey's store
October 27, 2018 2:52 pm ET

You are infected.
Provide bar stool sample please.
Now we can help you.
Haiku #60498, by providing stool sample there is hope of purgation
October 27, 2018 1:58 pm ET

Listhp
Haiku #60497, by Paul lynde
October 27, 2018 12:08 pm ET

Insemination
Now the seed has been planted
Anal Beanstalk, Grow!
Haiku #60496, by Using our imaginathions
October 27, 2018 12:08 pm ET

Five o'clock somewhere
I'm not much of a drinker
Like a stiff one, though
Haiku #60495, by Parrot head of Margaritaville
October 27, 2018 11:55 am ET

It's God and Devil
and God and Devil and God
And Devil and God
Haiku #60494, by Andy D'eville of Barstool
October 27, 2018 11:53 am ET

Bestiality
In half-assed Haiku verse form
Is the best you got?
Haiku #60493, by and by you will appear before the Lord of Glory
October 27, 2018 11:13 am ET

Dented his forehead
Breakdancing Taz devil style
With happy ending
Haiku #60492, by Repairman of Forehead dent and ding
October 27, 2018 3:20 am ET

I wonder if Darth
Vader force-chokes his chicken.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.

If so, that would be
crispy fried force-choked chicken.
Cock-a-doodle-don't.
Haiku #60491, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 27, 2018 3:16 am ET

In the olden days
they called the olden days "yor".
You're not all that old.
Haiku #60490, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I need Randolph's time machine.
October 27, 2018 3:09 am ET

In the olden days
they called the olden days "yor".
You are not so old.
Haiku #60489, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 27, 2018 3:06 am ET

Get it on both hands
Then you really got the clap
Round of applause, now
Haiku #60488, by Werewolf of London
October 27, 2018 2:43 am ET

One of the brothers
Had a hand covered with hair
Beginner Werewolf

Yes, they were inbred
Haiku #60487, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2018 2:26 am ET

In the olden days
People entertained themselves
With masturbation
Haiku #60486, by Masturbator of Olden days
October 27, 2018 2:17 am ET

I'm praying for you
I hope you are o.k., friend
My cat sends a meow
Haiku #60485, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2018 2:04 am ET

Columbia House
I won't ever be paying
Those records and tapes
Haiku #60484, by Anonymous Poet
October 27, 2018 2:00 am ET

That fake nail bomber
Looks like Christopher Walken
But can he tap dance?
Haiku #60483, by Da Bomb of Tap dancing on your sidewalk
October 27, 2018 1:57 am ET

Thought you were drowning
Jerking off an octopus?
They have 8 arms, dude
Haiku #60482, by Puzzled of The ocean is weird
October 27, 2018 1:54 am ET

You ever wonder
what sane people think when they
read the shite on here?
Haiku #60481, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 11:38 pm ET

Huffing glue is gay.
Gold spray paint's for glitter fags.
Real men huff bug spray.
Haiku #60480, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Hatin' on the skeeters yet again.
October 26, 2018 11:36 pm ET

Downward Facing Darth
Your Yoga pants tell story
X rated so far
Haiku #60479, by Storytime of Bad Haiku
October 26, 2018 7:41 pm ET

Please don't suck my dick.
I can handle that myself.
Yoga has paid off.
Haiku #60478, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 7:04 pm ET

Randolph was near bald.
He walked just like a big foot
with no muscle tone.

He often spoke of
sorority house orgy
gang bang fantasies.

His forehead was huge
and slightly dented inwards
like from a bad wreck.

He was expelled from
the physics grad school but still
read all the journals.

I'm sure they loved him
showing up uninvited
to symposia.
Haiku #60477, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 6:59 pm ET

Improved Lava Lamp
With Aromatherapy
Fill with your own poop
Haiku #60476, by Groovy of As seen on tv
October 26, 2018 6:30 pm ET

What do you call it?
Rear end smells like dead bodies
After washing it
Haiku #60475, by Smelly
October 26, 2018 6:09 pm ET

Registered to vote
Some day I'll be president!
John Boy Walton's MOLE
Haiku #60474, by Anonymous Poet
October 26, 2018 5:58 pm ET

Immortal poet
My soul shall live in Haiku.
Should I drink more beer?
Haiku #60473, by by Miss American Beer of grammar can suck my lexical comprehension
October 26, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Show me your gonads
Don't bother sprucing them up now
You got ugly junk!
Haiku #60472, by Anonymous Poet
October 26, 2018 3:09 pm ET

Cheese fart Cheese fart queef
Cheese fart anus spring roll queef
Cheese fart toast puke spew
Haiku #60471, by Anonymous Poet
October 26, 2018 3:08 pm ET

I met Randolph once
Shared an elevator ride
Looked just like you, dude
Haiku #60470, by Using the alias Randolph, you fool no one of Shaft
October 26, 2018 2:33 pm ET

I knew a strange chap.
Randolph was a physicist.
Or that's what he claimed.

His diet consists
of bologna, Velveeta,
and white Rainbow bread.

His chosen career
was selling his plasma at
local blood bank.

His aroma was...
how to put it politely...
less than appealing.

His theories were odd.
I think he went back in time.
At least I hope so.
Haiku #60469, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 1:49 pm ET

Writing bad haiku
keeps your jiggly ass in chair.
Go out for a walk.

While out for a walk
throw some rocks at old people
and kick a puppy.
Haiku #60468, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 1:35 pm ET

Ran into myself
Thought someone was stalking me
It was my HUGE ass
Haiku #60467, by Writing bad Haiku you get jiggly ass of Chair
October 26, 2018 12:58 pm ET

Voices in your head?
Maybe it's God Almighty
It could be Satan
Haiku #60466, by Introducing yourself you might seem civilized of Hiding from Smoters
October 26, 2018 12:55 pm ET

Granola goat milk
kale carrot veggie juice
fuck it eat Cheetos.
Haiku #60465, by Hell yeah I want Cheesy Poofs! of South Park, CO
October 26, 2018 12:47 pm ET

To live a good life
one must learn to be evil.
There's no other way.
Haiku #60464, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 26, 2018 12:41 pm ET