Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 257 Days and 71081 Haikus later...

Vagipootifus.
Ambiguitosity.
Insert profoundness.
Haiku # 60444, October 24, 2018 6:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You'll know that it's me
I have a very large head
Pink Hairy Haiku
Haiku # 60443, October 24, 2018 6:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Join the caravan
Good exercise Eat some beans
bowel problem solved
Haiku # 60442, October 24, 2018 1:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Keep talking shit talk
This is the backed up Smartfood
You made me eat it!
Haiku # 60441, October 24, 2018 1:52 pm ET
by Doubled Over of Trying to make it to terlit
Back end blowout mess.
Eating Honduran Chili.
Try raw squid next time.

Better get worm meds.
Don't want them eating your brain.
Or maybe you do.
Haiku # 60440, October 24, 2018 1:42 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of They're called "shithole" countries for a reason... they make your shithole shitty when you shit in a shithole shithou
Countries are stupid.
Borders are artificial.
Come on over, friends.
Haiku # 60439, October 24, 2018 1:36 pm ET
by Actually, yeah, gringos are the main source of income for shithole countries, like it or not. Is if fair? Is life fair. Fuck yo of Leprosy isn't so bad. Get used to it!
Just a quick update
Headed to the bathroom now
Back End Blowout
Haiku # 60438, October 24, 2018 12:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Alien enrichment:
Hondurans at the border
(Nothing to see here)
Haiku # 60437, October 24, 2018 10:05 am ET
by the way, Gringos are not providers of social services for every shithole nation on earth
At the canning plant
Paul put Viagra in Spam.
He thought it was cute.
Haiku # 60436, October 24, 2018 7:40 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Why aren't you happy?
Is it from writing poems?
Maybe you should quit.
Haiku # 60435, October 24, 2018 7:34 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Never have children.
There's no future for this world.
And they're expensive!
Haiku # 60434, October 24, 2018 6:12 am ET
by Disgruntled Grunt
Skipped catechism
Told the nun Hail Mary sucked
Bought candy instead
Haiku # 60433, October 24, 2018 4:33 am ET
by Starkitten of confession
kindergarten slide
Clacking sound. Plastic buttons
my pants R backwards
Haiku # 60432, October 24, 2018 4:28 am ET
by Starkitten of Undisclosed Vermont Elementary School 1972ish
Boom! Crackle! Sha-Poosh!
Lightening down upon your head.
I smote all sinners.
Haiku # 60431, October 24, 2018 3:42 am ET
by God's temp assistant.
Please, someone must know
Were these varmints on The Ark?
Sounds far fetched to me
Haiku # 60430, October 23, 2018 11:00 pm ET
by Don't smote me
A Cassowary
Not a trusting bird at all
Don't try from behind
Haiku # 60429, October 23, 2018 10:59 pm ET
by Wary
Considered Ostrich?
They run fast. Lasso one!
They're always horny
Haiku # 60428, October 23, 2018 10:56 pm ET
by They really are birds of Screw one and maybe it will jay an egg for your next 20 breakfasts
Taking care of it
I've got it under control
You can rest easy
Haiku # 60427, October 23, 2018 10:22 pm ET
by Your Friend of In the Driver's Seat
A foreign language
Good exercise for the tongue
Cunnilingus-vous?
Haiku # 60426, October 23, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by Babe L. Phish
Anticlimactic
homosexuality
vaginoplasty.
Haiku # 60424, October 23, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
My penis is huge.
I bought a twelve inch implant.
That's mighty big lint.

She was so damn fat.
Belly button like a twat.
Pierced, juicy, and stinks.

Satisfactory
navel balloon animals
enhancement climax.
Haiku # 60423, October 23, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
There's that Goddamn half.
Is the real part really real?
I mean, what is "real"?

It's all make believe.
The reasons for war and death.
Let's kill for numbers.

You just don't hear that.
"Our logic's better than yours!"
'Cause it's all the same.
Haiku # 60422, October 23, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm the proud owner
of a four AND A HALF inch
penis... AND A HALF!

I can satisfy
any guinea pig that lives...
But not live for long.
Haiku # 60421, October 23, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Ex-wife's cunt so large
and ugly, I'd call our sex
"feeding the sarlacc."
Haiku # 60420, October 23, 2018 8:38 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Ex husband's penis
So small. He was beating off
Looked like picking lint
Haiku # 60419, October 23, 2018 5:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tiko and the Shark
Favorite movie at our house
When I was a kid
Haiku # 60418, October 23, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by Starkitten
I'd get sea monkeys
if they threw poo and beat off
like normal monkeys.

Or maybe they do
and they're just too small to see,
so then what's the point?
Haiku # 60417, October 23, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Call me crazy but,
a baby shark would be cool.
Then let it go free.
Haiku # 60416, October 23, 2018 4:51 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
How old is your son?
Can't recommend sea monkeys
I had 2 goldfish
Haiku # 60415, October 23, 2018 2:49 pm ET
by Doris and Charlie
What are some good fish.
You know, for like pets and stuff.
My kid wants a fish.
Haiku # 60414, October 23, 2018 12:26 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Things are getting dull.
This world needs nuclear war.
Fuel for anime.
Haiku # 60413, October 23, 2018 11:18 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Tattoo bootie hoes.
Graffiti on cellulite.
Sanskrit on Jello.

Poor tribal attempt.
Pen and ink on scramble egg.
Easter egg buttocks.
Haiku # 60412, October 23, 2018 8:06 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Mosquito zappers.
They're not very effective.
But enjoyable.
Haiku # 60411, October 23, 2018 7:59 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Gods hump in the clouds.
Makes thunder and lightening.
The rain, well, you know.
Haiku # 60410, October 23, 2018 7:57 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The knife is held high.
Dog underneath dies yelping.
Filippino stew.

The poorest of poor.
The finest delicacy.
The rich wouldn't dare.
Haiku # 60409, October 23, 2018 7:54 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A whistling train
Dark silhouette waving hands
Chasing sinking Sun
Haiku # 60408, October 23, 2018 6:40 am ET
by Baoyu of GuangZhou
Shrapnel in my guts
I cannot digest popcorn
Smartfood not a wise choice
Haiku # 60407, October 23, 2018 3:23 am ET
by Princess Diverticulitis of Royal Pain in the Ass
Funhouse Mirror Wank
Like an orgy
but just you
Damn good looking, too
Haiku # 60406, October 23, 2018 3:15 am ET
by Pleased of Funhouse
Yes, but you get a
better view of his ass from
behind him, you know.
Haiku # 60405, October 23, 2018 2:42 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Masturbating's fun
In front of Louis C.K.
What do you say?
Haiku # 60404, October 22, 2018 10:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
When a man who shat
says that that shit is stinky,
that shit is stinky.
Haiku # 60403, October 22, 2018 10:12 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I don't like windows.
I prefer bars on my cage.
Then I can throw poo.
Haiku # 60402, October 22, 2018 10:09 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Party at the mall
Monkey business in full swing
All organs playing
Haiku # 60401, October 22, 2018 9:24 pm ET
by Even that giant floor piano from Big of Behind Mall burning one
wee wee wee wee wee
Wee wee wee wee wee wee wee
Wee..All the way home
Haiku # 60400, October 22, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The ice man cometh
Try the all new Bleach Blizzard
Abominable!
Haiku # 60399, October 22, 2018 12:02 pm ET
by Sticky Igloo of North
Come to think of it
This website's like a window
Pay is bananas
Haiku # 60398, October 22, 2018 11:54 am ET
by Attracting a crowd of Mall
I can see your point
Masturbation of Legend
Earned his bananas
Haiku # 60397, October 22, 2018 10:57 am ET
by Hmmm
I think I'm jealous.
To jack off in a window
while people watch you.

And free room and board.
I could ask for nothing more.
What an awesome life.
Haiku # 60396, October 22, 2018 8:21 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Mall in New York State
Monkey in pet store window
Jerking himself off
Haiku # 60395, October 22, 2018 5:15 am ET
by To the sounds of organ music from Restaurant next to pet shop of circa 1984
Collided with deer
walking through thick midnight fog
Touched his big antlers
Haiku # 60394, October 22, 2018 3:30 am ET
by Starkitten PNW
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >