I think I'm jealous.
To jack off in a window
while people watch you.

And free room and board.
I could ask for nothing more.
What an awesome life.

Mall in New York State
Monkey in pet store window
Jerking himself off

Collided with deer
walking through thick midnight fog
Touched his big antlers

Your help means a lot
Thanks for wiping my ass, sir
I guess we're friends now

Interesting site here
Writing my first haiku ever
Tell me, is this one?

Loosen your mind grip
We're all on the same page here
Quite literally

Hollow gnarled tree
Now Airbnb for elves
They have HUGE ding dongs!

Pork worms in the brain.
The Bible has warned you all.
Sinners now suffer.

Trichinosis host.
Waiting for the worms to cum.
An orgy in you.

Wading in pig shit.
The farmer wears just flip flops.
Worms between the toes.

The dung of five hogs
I lay at your ugly feet
Blessings Bless Blessed

Hold your head up high
Pig fuckers will rule the planet
I Brake for Pulled Pork

The blue fibre samples
Are alien in nature
Where have you travelled?

Born the Eleventh
Day of the Eleventh Month
Not you, but close soul

That's my third eye there
And it's watching a movie
Everything You Do

We also shot a bottle rocket above the heads of some old people playing bridge one night in a recreation center.
Whoooshhh... POW!
Fucking hilarious. Good times, I tell ya!

Ever set off fireworks in a shopping mall?
I did that when I was like 16 yo. The way to do it is use a cigarette for a timed delay (approx. 5 minutes). We used those whistling "Saturn Missile Battery" that shoots about 25 small whistling missiles that zig zag every which way. God it was funny. Security was pissed. Back in the day before they had CCTV up every human being's arse to see what you had for dinner the night before.
Yup. It was a hoot.

Frogs, ponds, and night sounds.
These are not appropriate.
Discuss monkey farts.

The best place for that hole would be right in the middle of your forehead.

I'd rather discuss mubes than sebum.
Mubes is when you stuff the sebum back into the hole from which it came and allow it to rot and become a cancerous cyst and then you cut it open and smear it on a stairway handrail and sit back and watch people put their hand it in and go... eewwwwww!

Have we discussed sebum yet?

We need a new hole
With which to fuck eat excrete
Where will we put it

Stepped on a pitchfork
Had to bring pig in parlor
Can't miss my Hee Haw

pork yourselves, perverts
haiku is for deviants
TRUTH: the new normal

Darth Garth Figpucker is a good man

My achy breaky fart.
Rips my ass apart.
Makes my pickup stink.
My asshole's brown, not pink.

Oh please! Like you don't
have relations with piggies.
Everyone does it!

At least in one way
or another... fucking pigs
or fucked by the pigs...

It's all humans do.
But I guess we are all pigs.
Long pigs at the trough.

It's just breathtaking
Inflatable Dinosaurs
Art Installation

High on Corn syrup
An army of obese folks
Battle of the Bulge

My hot, probing tongue
Exploring your dental work
Fill my cavity

Narrow Alleyway
Let's sneak off and have a kiss
Bums urinate here

Does he really have relations with pigs?

Darth and his dull verse
drove me away from this site.
No regrets at all.

I think Figpucker likes shit.

Just sayin'

Darth: anal, anal
anal, anal, anal, then
more dull sex-talk. YAWN

Prostitute Bacon
Pickton Pig Farm Killer
PIGS KNEW ABOUT IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoLs5KdeLQg
"Bears" and "My Body"
Say what you want. This little fucker is cool.

I know the YouTube.
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
Retards are awesome!

Sausage grease sex lube.
Anal swine fine dine and wine.
Drunk pigs are easy.

Suuuuey! Sweeee sweeee sweeee!
Pigs laugh at my tiny balls.
I still don't like pork.

Pig testes are gross.
No matter how you cook them.
Jimmy Dean well spiced.

Go ahead, run off!
Down to the barn, Humpnugget!
Fuck those squealing pigs

Grease up their asses
With your own breakfast drippings
Take the pork loin plunge

Pig schlong pecker meat
Pork butt pecker prong oink
Pork buttock greased doink

Long pig short pig pork
Grunt pig oink pig pork cloven
Mud muck kaka

Long Pig schlong pig pig
Pork pig pig pork pig
Big pig pecker.pig

Sacrifice Yuge Yuge
Missing my golden toilet
Golden shit tickets

It's a scary world
Our farts, familiar...great comfort
I'm basking in it

Just move it please,dude
Is it a roll of quarters
Package of crackers

Twat waffles!

Take off all your clothes
Turn on the vacuum cleaner
Belly Button Lint

Send Christopher Cross
To border of a Mexico
He rides like the wind

God is watching us
God has no sense of humor
Deadbeat Dad like mine

My God, this is weird.
Pootie-Poot is what Bush called
Vladimir Putin.

My subconsciousness
is more frightening than my
horrible haiku.