Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 341 Days and 72825 Haikus later...

Born the Eleventh
Day of the Eleventh Month
Not you, but close soul
Haiku # 60384, October 21, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by Number Number of Undisclosed
That's my third eye there
And it's watching a movie
Everything You Do
Haiku # 60383, October 21, 2018 9:20 pm ET
by Viewer of Remote
We also shot a bottle rocket above the heads of some old people playing bridge one night in a recreation center.
Whoooshhh... POW!
Fucking hilarious. Good times, I tell ya!
Haiku # 60382, October 21, 2018 8:51 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Ever set off fireworks in a shopping mall?
I did that when I was like 16 yo. The way to do it is use a cigarette for a timed delay (approx. 5 minutes). We used those whistling "Saturn Missile Battery" that shoots about 25 small whistling missiles that zig zag every which way. God it was funny. Security was pissed. Back in the day before they had CCTV up every human being's arse to see what you had for dinner the night before.
Yup. It was a hoot.
Haiku # 60381, October 21, 2018 8:49 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Frogs, ponds, and night sounds.
These are not appropriate.
Discuss monkey farts.
Haiku # 60380, October 21, 2018 8:30 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The best place for that hole would be right in the middle of your forehead.
Haiku # 60379, October 21, 2018 8:26 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
I'd rather discuss mubes than sebum.
Mubes is when you stuff the sebum back into the hole from which it came and allow it to rot and become a cancerous cyst and then you cut it open and smear it on a stairway handrail and sit back and watch people put their hand it in and go... eewwwwww!
Haiku # 60378, October 21, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Have we discussed sebum yet?
Haiku # 60377, October 21, 2018 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
We need a new hole
With which to fuck eat excrete
Where will we put it
Haiku # 60376, October 21, 2018 7:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Stepped on a pitchfork
Had to bring pig in parlor
Can't miss my Hee Haw
Haiku # 60375, October 21, 2018 7:45 pm ET
by Junior Samples of BR549 As Is
pork yourselves, perverts
haiku is for deviants
TRUTH: the new normal
Haiku # 60374, October 21, 2018 6:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth Garth Figpucker is a good man
Haiku # 60373, October 21, 2018 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My achy breaky fart.
Rips my ass apart.
Makes my pickup stink.
My asshole's brown, not pink.
Haiku # 60372, October 21, 2018 6:31 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Oh please! Like you don't
have relations with piggies.
Everyone does it!

At least in one way
or another... fucking pigs
or fucked by the pigs...

It's all humans do.
But I guess we are all pigs.
Long pigs at the trough.
Haiku # 60371, October 21, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of Eat rut squeel sleep
It's just breathtaking
Inflatable Dinosaurs
Art Installation
Haiku # 60370, October 21, 2018 5:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
High on Corn syrup
An army of obese folks
Battle of the Bulge
Haiku # 60369, October 21, 2018 5:21 pm ET
by Anne O'Rexic of Starvation Army HQ
My hot, probing tongue
Exploring your dental work
Fill my cavity
Haiku # 60368, October 21, 2018 4:45 pm ET
by Dick Cavetty of Amateur dentist.
Narrow Alleyway
Let's sneak off and have a kiss
Bums urinate here
Haiku # 60367, October 21, 2018 4:42 pm ET
by Bo Cepheus Greene of Off the beaten path
Does he really have relations with pigs?
Haiku # 60366, October 21, 2018 4:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth and his dull verse
drove me away from this site.
No regrets at all.
Haiku # 60365, October 21, 2018 3:32 pm ET
by stressing the profane you stink of intestinal decomposition
I think Figpucker likes shit.

Just sayin'
Haiku # 60364, October 21, 2018 3:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth: anal, anal
anal, anal, anal, then
more dull sex-talk. YAWN
Haiku # 60363, October 21, 2018 3:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Prostitute Bacon
Pickton Pig Farm Killer
PIGS KNEW ABOUT IT
Haiku # 60362, October 21, 2018 2:20 pm ET
by Miss Piggy of High off the hog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoLs5KdeLQg
"Bears" and "My Body"
Say what you want. This little fucker is cool.
Haiku # 60361, October 21, 2018 6:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I know the YouTube.
Fart Inhaler Poetry.
Retards are awesome!
Haiku # 60360, October 21, 2018 6:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Sausage grease sex lube.
Anal swine fine dine and wine.
Drunk pigs are easy.

Suuuuey! Sweeee sweeee sweeee!
Pigs laugh at my tiny balls.
I still don't like pork.

Pig testes are gross.
No matter how you cook them.
Jimmy Dean well spiced.
Haiku # 60359, October 21, 2018 6:20 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Go ahead, run off!
Down to the barn, Humpnugget!
Fuck those squealing pigs

Grease up their asses
With your own breakfast drippings
Take the pork loin plunge
Haiku # 60358, October 21, 2018 4:00 am ET
by Listening of Taking pictures
Pig schlong pecker meat
Pork butt pecker prong oink
Pork buttock greased doink
Haiku # 60357, October 21, 2018 3:54 am ET
by Oink of Oink
Long pig short pig pork
Grunt pig oink pig pork cloven
Mud muck kaka
Haiku # 60356, October 21, 2018 3:51 am ET
by Oink of Snort
Long Pig schlong pig pig
Pork pig pig pork pig
Big pig pecker.pig
Haiku # 60355, October 21, 2018 3:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sacrifice Yuge Yuge
Missing my golden toilet
Golden shit tickets
Haiku # 60354, October 21, 2018 3:13 am ET
by Constipated Cheeto
It's a scary world
Our farts, familiar...great comfort
I'm basking in it
Haiku # 60353, October 21, 2018 3:05 am ET
by Fart Inhaler of Bliss
Just move it please,dude
Is it a roll of quarters
Package of crackers
Haiku # 60352, October 21, 2018 2:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Twat waffles!
Haiku # 60351, October 21, 2018 2:36 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER, Esq.
Take off all your clothes
Turn on the vacuum cleaner
Belly Button Lint
Haiku # 60350, October 20, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by Person with no navel, just a seam
Send Christopher Cross
To border of a Mexico
He rides like the wind
Haiku # 60348, October 20, 2018 10:39 pm ET
by Eating a case of refried beans with each meal of Keeps wind in his sails, too
God is watching us
God has no sense of humor
Deadbeat Dad like mine
Haiku # 60347, October 20, 2018 10:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My God, this is weird.
Pootie-Poot is what Bush called
Vladimir Putin.

My subconsciousness
is more frightening than my
horrible haiku.
Haiku # 60345, October 20, 2018 9:46 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I see your point, sir.
Let's all return to flatus.
It only makes sense.

My momma always said.
Criminal is as criminal does.
So call the fuzz.

Those who complain of fart poetry, just don't get it.
In today's world farts and poop and goat raping are about the only sane things to write about. I mean, Jesus, just read the news!
Or turn off the fear mongering media teat and go for a walk. See if the world is really as bad as they tell you. Or stay inside and get all irate about silly shit and farts.

For some reason the words "pootie poot" keep circling my brain.
Haiku # 60344, October 20, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
the madness of a
real civil war started by
some dumb ass punk in

portland oregon
threatening a woman on the "right"
and those in the news

getting tribal, you
know maybe this is what putin
wanted, all us cutting

each others throats so
he can move into this country
unoposed by anyone
Haiku # 60343, October 20, 2018 7:59 pm ET
by vhs
this country is drawn
and quartered, say what you
will about this sort of

thing, i am eating my own
flesh and drinking my own blood
real atheism
Haiku # 60342, October 20, 2018 7:52 pm ET
by vhs
maybe we should send
the army to the border of
mexico and see

what happens then, and
stuff like this will seem so damn
trivial at that time
Haiku # 60341, October 20, 2018 7:49 pm ET
by vhs
Find the real killer
Who murdered good Bad Haiku
Draw and quarter them
Haiku # 60340, October 20, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by OJ of Bronco
i think I'm done posting here
Haiku # 60339, October 20, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by vhs
i mean what if i
start posting alt right bullshit
which i don't believe

in, i mean this is
trolling but for God sakes you
get me every time

But I'm not here much
anymore, i just won't
play anymore cause

shit isn't working
Haiku # 60338, October 20, 2018 7:09 pm ET
by vhs
i haven't been here in
a while, my tablet isn't
working quite right but you
know maybe if this kind of
criminal shit is what's the work
on here now and i take it a bit
seriously, you know, why be here?
Haiku # 60337, October 20, 2018 7:05 pm ET
by vhs
you're really disturbing buddy
maybe i need to report you
Haiku # 60336, October 20, 2018 7:04 pm ET
by vhs
Cannibalism.
Who would like to eat my wife?
I need recipes.

One hundred eighty
pounds of juicy long pig flesh.
What a great party!
Haiku # 60335, October 20, 2018 6:56 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
What's the longest time
this website has ever gone
sans poop reference?

Bodily functions.
Various sexual acts.
Food, drugs, politics.

Poems of lizards.
The reptile brain keyboarding.
Wanting more and more.

Dog shit taco Trump
fart balloon masturbate pot
magic mushroom twat.

I think I agree.
We need a lower evil.
New depths to sink to.
Haiku # 60334, October 20, 2018 6:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Eat ten garlic cloves.
Mosquitoes will avoid you.
And so will your wife.

And so kill two birds.
One handle pull flush two turds.
Garlic zest, no pest.
Haiku # 60333, October 20, 2018 6:38 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of It's just a myth, doesn't really work.
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