It's a scary world
Our farts, familiar...great comfort
I'm basking in it

Just move it please,dude
Is it a roll of quarters
Package of crackers

Twat waffles!

Take off all your clothes
Turn on the vacuum cleaner
Belly Button Lint

Send Christopher Cross
To border of a Mexico
He rides like the wind

God is watching us
God has no sense of humor
Deadbeat Dad like mine

My God, this is weird.
Pootie-Poot is what Bush called
Vladimir Putin.

My subconsciousness
is more frightening than my
horrible haiku.

I see your point, sir.
Let's all return to flatus.
It only makes sense.

My momma always said.
Criminal is as criminal does.
So call the fuzz.

Those who complain of fart poetry, just don't get it.
In today's world farts and poop and goat raping are about the only sane things to write about. I mean, Jesus, just read the news!
Or turn off the fear mongering media teat and go for a walk. See if the world is really as bad as they tell you. Or stay inside and get all irate about silly shit and farts.

For some reason the words "pootie poot" keep circling my brain.

the madness of a
real civil war started by
some dumb ass punk in

portland oregon
threatening a woman on the "right"
and those in the news

getting tribal, you
know maybe this is what putin
wanted, all us cutting

each others throats so
he can move into this country
unoposed by anyone

this country is drawn
and quartered, say what you
will about this sort of

thing, i am eating my own
flesh and drinking my own blood
real atheism

maybe we should send
the army to the border of
mexico and see

what happens then, and
stuff like this will seem so damn
trivial at that time

Find the real killer
Who murdered good Bad Haiku
Draw and quarter them

i think I'm done posting here

i mean what if i
start posting alt right bullshit
which i don't believe

in, i mean this is
trolling but for God sakes you
get me every time

But I'm not here much
anymore, i just won't
play anymore cause

shit isn't working

i haven't been here in
a while, my tablet isn't
working quite right but you
know maybe if this kind of
criminal shit is what's the work
on here now and i take it a bit
seriously, you know, why be here?

you're really disturbing buddy
maybe i need to report you

Cannibalism.
Who would like to eat my wife?
I need recipes.

One hundred eighty
pounds of juicy long pig flesh.
What a great party!

What's the longest time
this website has ever gone
sans poop reference?

Bodily functions.
Various sexual acts.
Food, drugs, politics.

Poems of lizards.
The reptile brain keyboarding.
Wanting more and more.

Dog shit taco Trump
fart balloon masturbate pot
magic mushroom twat.

I think I agree.
We need a lower evil.
New depths to sink to.

Eat ten garlic cloves.
Mosquitoes will avoid you.
And so will your wife.

And so kill two birds.
One handle pull flush two turds.
Garlic zest, no pest.

Artificially
intelligent popcorn droids
powered by methane.

A Haikulonic
Cleansing Syllabic Tonic
$5.75

A high colonic
Marijuana Enema
Pass the Funyuns, please

And I just farted
Your popcorn was outsmarted
Colonel Figpucker

Walton's Fan Fiction
Granda dipping his quill pen
Sucking a Werther's

Rocks, Scissors, Paper!
Haiku Sibling Rivalry
VHS likes me best

Really mount your spouse
Marital Taxidermy
Conversation Piece

I pissed on your fist
just to prove that I exist
Sorry, couldn't resist

I sat on your hat,
and then suddenly I shat .
Sorry about that.

Flatulent flautists
flatly flabbergasted flies
flipping flapjack flasks.

By the way, nice shirt

i know that you know
I just read popcorn haiku
While eating Smartfood

The way I smell it
All haiku are Bad Haiku
You're my enema!

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two sets of footprints
Leading to the outhouse door
These footprints smell bad

The way I see it
No such thing as Bad Haiku
It's all good, my friend

Pinching off a loaf
Putting glaze on your donut
Twisting his cruller

Sketching your likeness
From afar. Hope you don't mind.
I added a mole

Aluminum Lids
From your trash cans. CRASH! CRASH!
Learn to play cymbals

This gozinta that
In and out and in and out
How we multiply

Far Side: Nothing there
Except a McChitterlings.
Go to Jupiter!

It has a red dot
Trying to imitate me
And my handsomeness

Hair Stylist Missing
Police combed the area
Searched thick brush for clues

Manic depression
Drinking boat load of red wine
I am not naked

Remote view the moon
Far side in particular
Expecting report

Improved reception
When I'm standing by the sink
You are quite handsome

Endangered Feces
Help Us Save the Chitterlings
And Their Habitat

Remote view R V
Feel hairs on your arm stand up
Got my eye on you

Trouser Trout again?
Pan fried/glow worm reduction
Button Fly Fishing

Too extreme for you?
"Eat lead" double entendre.
Mining pollution.

Google birth defects
from mercury found in fish.
Mostly Japanese.

Oh Farth Digpucker,
I have choice words for your soul--
But I must not speak.

Sushi submarine.
No mayo in this sandwich.
Roe and wasabi.

Madder than hatters.
Exceeds daily allowance.
Mercury fish balls.

Deformed, retarded,
Birth defect offspring off chutes.
From yuppies' raw fish.