Cannibalism.
Who would like to eat my wife?
I need recipes.

One hundred eighty
pounds of juicy long pig flesh.
What a great party!

What's the longest time
this website has ever gone
sans poop reference?

Bodily functions.
Various sexual acts.
Food, drugs, politics.

Poems of lizards.
The reptile brain keyboarding.
Wanting more and more.

Dog shit taco Trump
fart balloon masturbate pot
magic mushroom twat.

I think I agree.
We need a lower evil.
New depths to sink to.

Eat ten garlic cloves.
Mosquitoes will avoid you.
And so will your wife.

And so kill two birds.
One handle pull flush two turds.
Garlic zest, no pest.

Artificially
intelligent popcorn droids
powered by methane.

A Haikulonic
Cleansing Syllabic Tonic
$5.75

A high colonic
Marijuana Enema
Pass the Funyuns, please

And I just farted
Your popcorn was outsmarted
Colonel Figpucker

Walton's Fan Fiction
Granda dipping his quill pen
Sucking a Werther's

Rocks, Scissors, Paper!
Haiku Sibling Rivalry
VHS likes me best

Really mount your spouse
Marital Taxidermy
Conversation Piece

I pissed on your fist
just to prove that I exist
Sorry, couldn't resist

I sat on your hat,
and then suddenly I shat .
Sorry about that.

Flatulent flautists
flatly flabbergasted flies
flipping flapjack flasks.

By the way, nice shirt

i know that you know
I just read popcorn haiku
While eating Smartfood

The way I smell it
All haiku are Bad Haiku
You're my enema!

America's Favorite
White Cheddar Popcorn
No Artificial Colors, Flavor, or Preservatives
Smartfood Popcorn
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End of DLUO
30Sep18
MFG Mar18
4 46 3 081 20
13 01:09
White Cheddar
Cheese
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NET WT. 5 1/2 Oz. (155.9 g)

two sets of footprints
Leading to the outhouse door
These footprints smell bad

The way I see it
No such thing as Bad Haiku
It's all good, my friend

Pinching off a loaf
Putting glaze on your donut
Twisting his cruller

Sketching your likeness
From afar. Hope you don't mind.
I added a mole

Aluminum Lids
From your trash cans. CRASH! CRASH!
Learn to play cymbals

This gozinta that
In and out and in and out
How we multiply

Far Side: Nothing there
Except a McChitterlings.
Go to Jupiter!

It has a red dot
Trying to imitate me
And my handsomeness

Hair Stylist Missing
Police combed the area
Searched thick brush for clues

Manic depression
Drinking boat load of red wine
I am not naked

Remote view the moon
Far side in particular
Expecting report

Improved reception
When I'm standing by the sink
You are quite handsome

Endangered Feces
Help Us Save the Chitterlings
And Their Habitat

Remote view R V
Feel hairs on your arm stand up
Got my eye on you

Trouser Trout again?
Pan fried/glow worm reduction
Button Fly Fishing

Too extreme for you?
"Eat lead" double entendre.
Mining pollution.

Google birth defects
from mercury found in fish.
Mostly Japanese.

Oh Farth Digpucker,
I have choice words for your soul--
But I must not speak.

Sushi submarine.
No mayo in this sandwich.
Roe and wasabi.

Madder than hatters.
Exceeds daily allowance.
Mercury fish balls.

Deformed, retarded,
Birth defect offspring off chutes.
From yuppies' raw fish.

Lamenting virgin
Every time you enter tight
Proffer ecstasy

Between your wanton
legs lies the truth of my very
indecisive mind

Ordered tuna sub
There's no tuna in this sub
Threw it at your head

One took over line
We smoked salmon for dinner
Hard to keep it lit

Implored ex-limo.
Defenestrated mustard.
Poupon, but of course.

Reliving my youth
Standing on top of dresser
Jump off. Land on bed

That's not giving up
Giving up is disregard
For true ambitions

Fake cough in their hand
While yelling "Blow Job! Blow Job!"
At school assemblies

I want to give up.
Buy a farm and plow the earth.
Have a plantation.

Fruits, vegetables,
orchards, apples, peaches, figs.
Especially figs.

Ripe, soft, sweet brown figs.
Sell them in farmer's markets
to discerning chefs.

Dirt on my blue jeans.
Soil under my nails.
Proud and defiant.

They'd see me and say,
"That's one dirty little fig
plucker." Har har har.

Pig shit smells so bad.
Who the fuck first ate "chitlins"?!?!
Should be called "shitlins".

Cook that shit outside!
Right now you nasty dumb bitch!
Unforgivable!

*Walton's, not Watson's.
Dammit I suck on keyboards.
Sticky warts be bad.

You should not complain!
I've known many shaving cuts.
Mary Ellen's warts.

John Boy Walton's mole
"That bastard tried to cut me
Every time he shaved."

Pigfuckery skills
politico manifest
humpability

Interrupted kiss
Clunk. Cast Iron frying pan
Just desserts tonight

first there is a mount
ain then there is no mountain
then there's krispy kremes