Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

Manic depression
Drinking boat load of red wine
I am not naked
Haiku # 60310, October 19, 2018 9:39 pm ET
by Noah Ben Noah of Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Remote view the moon
Far side in particular
Expecting report
Haiku # 60309, October 19, 2018 9:32 pm ET
by Sparklepony, MD of happy to not have been turned into glue
Improved reception
When I'm standing by the sink
You are quite handsome
Haiku # 60308, October 19, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Endangered Feces
Help Us Save the Chitterlings
And Their Habitat
Haiku # 60307, October 19, 2018 7:42 pm ET
by Nosy
Remote view R V
Feel hairs on your arm stand up
Got my eye on you
Haiku # 60306, October 19, 2018 7:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Trouser Trout again?
Pan fried/glow worm reduction
Button Fly Fishing
Haiku # 60305, October 19, 2018 7:21 pm ET
by Trouser Trout Fishing with Ted Williams and Richard Brautigan and again and again of In America
Too extreme for you?
"Eat lead" double entendre.
Mining pollution.

Google birth defects
from mercury found in fish.
Mostly Japanese.
Haiku # 60304, October 19, 2018 6:12 pm ET
by df of mic drop
Oh Farth Digpucker,
I have choice words for your soul--
But I must not speak.
Haiku # 60303, October 19, 2018 6:06 pm ET
by the banks of that beautiful river, we shall meet one day
Sushi submarine.
No mayo in this sandwich.
Roe and wasabi.

Madder than hatters.
Exceeds daily allowance.
Mercury fish balls.

Deformed, retarded,
Birth defect offspring off chutes.
From yuppies' raw fish.
Haiku # 60302, October 19, 2018 5:46 pm ET
Lamenting virgin
Every time you enter tight
Proffer ecstasy
Haiku # 60301, October 19, 2018 5:45 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Between your wanton
legs lies the truth of my very
indecisive mind
Haiku # 60300, October 19, 2018 5:35 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Ordered tuna sub
There's no tuna in this sub
Threw it at your head
Haiku # 60299, October 19, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by Bullseye. We call it a grinder
One took over line
We smoked salmon for dinner
Hard to keep it lit
Haiku # 60298, October 19, 2018 12:52 pm ET
by Now hacking cough of Paranoid
Implored ex-limo.
Defenestrated mustard.
Poupon, but of course.
Haiku # 60297, October 19, 2018 5:39 am ET
Reliving my youth
Standing on top of dresser
Jump off. Land on bed
Haiku # 60296, October 19, 2018 3:02 am ET
by Pantsload
That's not giving up
Giving up is disregard
For true ambitions
Haiku # 60295, October 19, 2018 3:00 am ET
by Wheely Joe of round and round it goes
Fake cough in their hand
While yelling "Blow Job! Blow Job!"
At school assemblies
Haiku # 60294, October 19, 2018 2:57 am ET
by Alumni of Memory Lane
I want to give up.
Buy a farm and plow the earth.
Have a plantation.

Fruits, vegetables,
orchards, apples, peaches, figs.
Especially figs.

Ripe, soft, sweet brown figs.
Sell them in farmer's markets
to discerning chefs.

Dirt on my blue jeans.
Soil under my nails.
Proud and defiant.

They'd see me and say,
"That's one dirty little fig
plucker." Har har har.
Haiku # 60293, October 19, 2018 2:25 am ET
Pig shit smells so bad.
Who the fuck first ate "chitlins"?!?!
Should be called "shitlins".

Cook that shit outside!
Right now you nasty dumb bitch!
Haiku # 60292, October 19, 2018 1:07 am ET
*Walton's, not Watson's.
Dammit I suck on keyboards.
Sticky warts be bad.
Haiku # 60291, October 19, 2018 1:01 am ET
You should not complain!
I've known many shaving cuts.
Mary Ellen's warts.
Haiku # 60290, October 19, 2018 12:58 am ET
by Mary Ellen Watson's genital warts. of You'll only see me on special director's cuts.
John Boy Walton's mole
"That bastard tried to cut me
Every time he shaved."
Haiku # 60289, October 18, 2018 10:57 pm ET
by Walton's Mountain
Pigfuckery skills
politico manifest
Haiku # 60288, October 18, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by pooterificus unanimous
Interrupted kiss
Clunk. Cast Iron frying pan
Just desserts tonight
Haiku # 60287, October 18, 2018 9:16 pm ET
by Marriage whisperer of Pacific Northwest
first there is a mount
ain then there is no mountain
then there's krispy kremes
Haiku # 60286, October 18, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by goku of stupid haiku uno
Feeling rather proud.
Just killed a huge mosquito.
May have it mounted.

But then guess what now...
School's playing twerk tunes again.
Vo-Tech stripper jobs.

They might as well just
flat out teach prostitution.
Their best career choice.
Haiku # 60285, October 18, 2018 7:03 pm ET
Let us sing praises.
Contemplate savior Beavis.
He pooped for your sins.
Haiku # 60284, October 18, 2018 6:54 pm ET
You forgot titties,
twat waffles, dog turds, pigs, and
Haiku # 60283, October 18, 2018 6:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER is sick of people who are sick of people.
Fart, vomit, penis:
all I read at this website
it's just not worth it
Haiku # 60282, October 18, 2018 6:22 pm ET
by sick of all of you
He was not the man
He had been the night before
He had no penis
Haiku # 60281, October 18, 2018 5:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That fart was my friend
But he had to mosey on
Time to eat more beans
Haiku # 60280, October 18, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by Friendless Friend of Friendly Neighborhood
Used to live there
I thought we smoked it all up
Ate all the Cheezies
Haiku # 60279, October 18, 2018 10:34 am ET
by Thetis Lake Monster of Undisclosed
Laughing at hoofprints
New horse in my living room
Handsome Hawkeye Pierce
Haiku # 60278, October 18, 2018 3:43 am ET
by Starkitten of Living room with new foal
Subdued Excitement
Taming unwanted boner
Live Weather Report
Haiku # 60277, October 18, 2018 3:37 am ET
by Weatherman with unwanted boner of On Air
Medicinal scones
A decidedly High Tea
At 4:20 sharp
Haiku # 60276, October 18, 2018 3:33 am ET
by Herb
Always a challenge
Hopping up on the barstool
Drink til I fall off
Haiku # 60275, October 18, 2018 3:27 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Hey man I'm sorry
I didn't mean to flush it
Your prize winning turd
Haiku # 60274, October 18, 2018 3:21 am ET
by Flusher of Terlit
Hard Wood floor perverse
Haiku # 60273, October 18, 2018 12:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
message from the floor
I like looking up your dress.
Walk on me... spike heels!
Haiku # 60272, October 18, 2018 12:23 am ET
by Carpet Section of Home Depot
Heated seats and farts
A wet bratwurst sulphur slaw
Tailgating. Go Team!
Haiku # 60271, October 18, 2018 12:16 am ET
by Janitors who hates this life of They don't call them bleachers for nothing
she said people say
things are ironic that aren't
it's quite ironic
Haiku # 60270, October 17, 2018 8:35 pm ET
by goku!
Huge bowel movement.
Dump so big, my soul feels purged.
Flush those sins away.
Haiku # 60269, October 17, 2018 7:39 pm ET
maple leaf you say ?
canada legalises
the world keeps turning
Haiku # 60268, October 17, 2018 7:44 am ET
by ash
Worker bees can leave.
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.
Haiku # 60267, October 17, 2018 7:37 am ET
by Travis Ruprecht Cornelius
The floor is Lava
Sub par restrooms. Heck, no!
Go outside. Use leaves.
Haiku # 60266, October 17, 2018 3:26 am ET
by Bucket of My Ass
Any country where
public restrooms don't provide
TP... I hate them.

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shithole countries".
And only that once.

Toilets typically
don't have a seat, just a bowl.
Flush with a bucket.
Haiku # 60265, October 17, 2018 1:28 am ET
by df
Can't post late at night
The "tablet" is Viagra
Table keeps lifting
Haiku # 60264, October 17, 2018 12:37 am ET
by It's Magic of Electric Light Orchestra Pit
Sometimes Snoopy wins
And he dances on his house
Dog dish on his head
Haiku # 60263, October 17, 2018 12:32 am ET
by C. Ya of In the Funny Pages
Kid hated reading
Gross. Pages stuck together.
Books made Dad horny
Haiku # 60262, October 17, 2018 12:29 am ET
by Concerned Librarian of Library
Ben Denofer (here)
Barb Dwyer (here) Rob Graves (here)
Patty O'Lantern?
Haiku # 60261, October 17, 2018 12:24 am ET
by Canadian of Might as well go for a soda too
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