There he goes again
Balloon Boy! Fetch the Pea Shooter
Needs more Lunchables
by Anonymous Poet
I like getting high
on the farts of C'thulu.
Mylar balloon bliss.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You want to get big?
Rub stinging nettles on it.
Just a little bit.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A mole of golf balls
would cover Earth three miles deep.
Save us, Tiger Woods!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A mole of moles' moles.
Six point oh two two times ten
to the twenty third.
That's hella lot of
burrowing rodent skin growths.
More than I could count.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Eat me, eat me raw!
... or cooked; it doesn't matter.
I might give you gas.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Prayer's to C'thulu:
Please eat all poets on earth.
Haiku poets first.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
John Boy Walton's mole
Not of Italian descent
But kinda greasy
by Up Close of In ya face
Whatever you do
Don't say "Damn the Dead."
Ok, I warned you
by Don't say it of Don't even think about it
Crazy Italians
Putting saints in the windows
To fight the thunder
by Crazy Italians of The Gut
Night crawling was fun
Sometimes the worms were screwing
Sometimes broke in half
by Night Crawlers of 5 cents plus I put in my 2 cents. You do the math.
Mortar and pestle
Medicate your family
So satisfying
by Seinfeld's Plagiarist Wife of Liquor Store
Noah's ark happened.
So there's no more dinosaurs.
They were too damn big.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hail Satan, yo.
Him and his giant red ass.
Who can't worship that?!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Fun activity
Empty out box full of snakes
And stomp their brains out!
by Adam Ben Adam
Agoraphobics
We are going out the door
But not ready yet
by Anonymous Poet of Inside
Neither a cover, nor sophisticated, deadhead distribution of LSD was (and to some extent still remains) blatant and open, clumsy and careless. "Rainbow" gatherings, burning man, and many other festivals have followed suit. It's no secret. Nothing is hidden. The DEA is a bunch of idiots.
by df
Word play ha-penis.
Tits, ass, and cunnilingus.
Insert silliness.
by Starshittin
Brittle toe nails.
Like an old hag casting spells.
But I've no magic.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Restrung my guitar
Ate British savory pie
Down on my knees now
by Praying
You must (must!) be saved
but the weird thing about it,
your own will: useless
by the stench of it all was getting to me
Bare Necessities
Will need G-string and pasties
Then go to the bank
by Starkitten of A bit nippy
Donna Godchaux's voice
Proven to cause brain damage
Tune out. Take Tylenol
by Deadhead
According to the
DEA the Grateful Dead
Sophisticated
Cover for the sale
Distribution LSD
Bunch of silly squares
by Hipster of Starbucks
Vegan Parmesan
Try Parma! Original
Starkitten Approved
by Starkitten
Ain't no Peter Popoff
He sent me mystery oil
Like GG Allin
by Post Office of Sealed for your Protection
Solved your worm problem
Telepathy and Magnets
Anal Exodus
Be near a latrine
There may be some slight cramping
Noticed you have crabs
by Doctor Haikuna Matata of Village of the Ashes
celestial glories
eternal transcendental
God alone: holy
by multiple faces of the cherubim
That's a three way bulb
Much safer than candlesticks
Illuminated
by Anonymous Poet
I am perverted
Everything is terrible
Insert gross action
by DARTH PIGTICKLER of Inserting Lightbulb Somewhere
Dude, that Figpucker
has a cesspool for a mind
so, I'm out of here
by To be carnally minded is DEATH
Oh sir voodoo man,
please charm the worms from my gut.
Damn shithole countries.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I had a vision.
Plumber voodoo snake charmer.
Voo doo-doo be gone.
Flute made of pure lead.
Ass crack profoundly displayed.
Red dot on forehead.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Much like this website,
I've picked up a parasite.
Figpuckeritis.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Sneak up plumbers
Dildo Ambush from behind
Toilet snake appears
by Bob Villa
One day you'll own it
Do they provide galoshes?
Why not show your junk?
by Anonymous Poet
Roughly mopping floors.
My porno theater job.
Hey, it pays the bills.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Looked under the sink
Dr. Bronner's. You wrote that!?
We're All One Or None!!
by Starkitten of Far Out
My fave sex toy is
the inflatable T-Rex
with her battle scars.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Look under the sink.
There you'll find my poetry.
Counter's bottom side.
It is not easy.
I lay down on dirty floors.
Writing where none see.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Gently mopping floors
Listening to swing music
Please don't ask me why
by Man With Paper Bag On His Head
10 holes to choose from
They all smell bad but stuff your
Fingers inside them
by Nathan's Rubber Gloves of (Nathan Forgot His Rubber Gloves)
Waiting turns me on
That's called autoerotic
Procrastination
by Sparklepony, MD
Yeah I need this place
Same way I need a shotgun
Blast straight to my face
I pack coffee shops
Where hipsters line up to hear
Me lay down haikus
by Tony Clifton, Jr. of Las Vegas
*gruff voice*
Hey vhs it's too hot/gross here
So I quit and I'm taking my rubber
Gloves with me
by Nathan of at home watching re-runs of I Love Lucy while eating chicken pot pie
Genesis 6:6.
My favorite Bible verse.
Perhaps a tattoo.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Have you not lost faith?
In humanity, not God.
There's no hope for us.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
That's because we're friends
It's like you are the bartender
I drink sparkling water
by Starkitten
you respond, and i
am not ignored, i respond
i am tempted to
move on but check in
i see another post i
end up posting back
by vhs
