Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71024 Haikus later...

shut up about the
fucking politics, whether
screaming democrats

or old lady Rep
yacking about nutcase libs
I am The Doctor

If I must release
the Big Red Box, then you know
how Gallifrey

Ended...
Haiku # 59953, October 9, 2018 8:20 pm ET
by vhs
VHS Haiku
Tracked number. Says delivered.
I will keep checking
Haiku # 59952, October 9, 2018 5:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Entertainment! Second Ring!
Top clown has the runs!!
Haiku # 59951, October 9, 2018 5:18 pm ET
by Pyramid Scheme of Trickle Down Economics
Constipated Clown
Misfortune of the Bowels
The show must go on
Haiku # 59950, October 9, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Most birds don't like us
If you subtract bread crust, seeds
They downright hate us!
Haiku # 59949, October 9, 2018 2:42 pm ET
by Birdwatcher of Pacific Northwest
god damn vogons
Haiku # 59948, October 9, 2018 8:44 am ET
by vhs
Speaking of feces,
South Park this Wednesday features
Mr. Hankey the

Christmas Poo. Don't miss
it -- it's a new episode.
You smell like flowers!
Haiku # 59947, October 9, 2018 3:56 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It would not have sunk
It would certainly have stunk.
Don't sleep with a skunk.
Haiku # 59946, October 9, 2018 3:51 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm so confused now
Dinosaurs would sink the ark
It gives me the creeps
Haiku # 59945, October 9, 2018 3:44 am ET
by Confused
What about poop?
Mentioned in the Bible?
The ark would have sunk
Haiku # 59944, October 9, 2018 3:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Diahareaheaia
izin betweeeeen
the sheets.

Diarrhea bomb pop frozen treats for flies on a hot summer's day.
Haiku # 59943, October 9, 2018 1:01 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Flatulence is gas
Fecal matter is solid
What is in between?
Haiku # 59942, October 9, 2018 12:00 am ET
by Science Kid
Ring bell for service
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
Ding ding ding ding ding
Haiku # 59941, October 8, 2018 11:58 pm ET
by Ding Dong
I fought the Devil.
That was a long time ago.
Now we are best friends.

Sometimes he pays me.
It's contract labor, you see.
He buys my poems.

My work's quite famous
down in the fiery pits.
Torturing sinners.
Haiku # 59940, October 8, 2018 11:46 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Wearing pantyhose
Over your head. Sniff sniff sniff
Clear the sinuses
Haiku # 59939, October 8, 2018 11:18 pm ET
by Dr. Oz of At the Landfill tossing my Neti Pot
Domestic Dispute
Hot Frying Pan Concussion
Thoughtful wedding gift
Haiku # 59938, October 8, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by Edie Brickell of Drinking in closet
Is it the Devil?
How can you tell if it's him
Or a plain demon?
Haiku # 59937, October 8, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Want to know
I shouldn't say this:
Televise the fight on the
Jerry Springer show.
Haiku # 59936, October 8, 2018 8:54 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Just throw poo at them.
Works for me every time.
The in-laws hate me.
Haiku # 59935, October 8, 2018 8:52 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
well i got a real
life fight to attend to I'm
not sure if it will

be just spiritual
warfare or something else of
a different sort
Haiku # 59934, October 8, 2018 7:31 pm ET
by vhs
I am so so-so
and simultaneously
extraordinary.

Go and ask your mom.
She'll tell you all about it.
Skipping the details.
Haiku # 59933, October 8, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Astronomical
homosexuality
regurgitation.
Haiku # 59932, October 8, 2018 7:16 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
First we would dry up
The wind would blow us away
Be our Haiku Dad.
Haiku # 59931, October 8, 2018 5:54 pm ET
by Haiku Orphan of Haiku Orphanage
gee what happens if
i stop posting poems here
to react to, eh?
Haiku # 59930, October 8, 2018 5:35 pm ET
by vhs
Sweet Baby James
Jim Morrison. Diaper Clad.
Petite concho belt
Haiku # 59929, October 8, 2018 4:22 pm ET
by Halloween Costume Advice of Horse's Ass
Uber Eats (you out)
Delivering to your door
Hot Cunnilingus
Haiku # 59928, October 8, 2018 3:55 pm ET
by Brett Banjopicker
That guy VHS
Writes all the poetry here
Under assumed names
Haiku # 59927, October 8, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by Snopes
Bailey's with acid.
Guess I'll call it synthamesc.
Mescaline's too rare.

Oh, wait, this is cool!
I can order it onine!
Fuck yeah! I'll do that!
Haiku # 59926, October 8, 2018 3:49 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Roosters are crowing.
I think I'll rape a chicken.
And force them to watch.

Fuckers wake me up.
Nah, I was already up.
But any excuse.

I was up because,
well, meth does that to a guy.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Haiku # 59925, October 8, 2018 3:42 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Halloween costumes.
I'll dress up as a baby.
Depends, whiskey bottle.

I might even cry.
Craving a milky nipple.
Bailey's will do then.
Haiku # 59924, October 8, 2018 2:14 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of
Your friend Starkitten
S T A U N C H
Like Little Edie
Haiku # 59923, October 8, 2018 1:20 pm ET
by Staunch Character of Grey Gardens
Goose Honking Season
Looked up..Pterodactyls!!
Drunk on Jeff Daniels
Haiku # 59922, October 8, 2018 12:33 pm ET
by Dyslexic Alcoholics of Behind Edie Brickell at the liquor store
Which does God hate more,
poets, homosexuals,
or Justin Bieber?
Haiku # 59921, October 8, 2018 11:57 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's not easy to
make the second line shorter
than the other two.
Haiku # 59920, October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
He stood mouth agape.
Her enormous vagina
left him quite speechless.
Haiku # 59919, October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Keep your computer
on auto refresh so you
can post new haiku.
Haiku # 59918, October 8, 2018 6:55 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worship the sun God.
Almighty Rah, show us your love.
Make this ganja grow!
Haiku # 59917, October 8, 2018 6:54 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Popeye did gay porn.
When he ate spinach, look out.
Sphincter muskle clamp.

But all that fiber
made for messy money shots.
Set screw clean up hell.
Haiku # 59916, October 8, 2018 6:51 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Motorcycle Priest
Putting hickeys on the nuns
Passing out Funyuns
Haiku # 59915, October 8, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Sister lnhalealotta
Those kids had no eyes
Sockets filled with black olives
Six inch extra meat
Haiku # 59914, October 8, 2018 6:07 am ET
by Malachi
sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff
wag wag wag i'm a good boy
ears perk up - SQUIRREL!
Haiku # 59913, October 8, 2018 3:34 am ET
by Black Lab of local park
Jared from Subway
A pedophile meets his match
The Black Eyed Children
Haiku # 59912, October 8, 2018 3:31 am ET
by EAT HIS SOUL
The black lab version
Squeeze a can of tennis balls
Wag Wag Wag Wag Wag
Haiku # 59911, October 8, 2018 3:30 am ET
by Starkitten
Spinach does the trick
Squeeze the can. Gulp Gulp Gulp
Admire my Muskles
Haiku # 59910, October 8, 2018 3:26 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest dented cans
Frosted Haggis Flakes
infernal itching! Fuck wool!
Argyle Sock Condom!
Haiku # 59909, October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET
by Something Something of Heavering
Popeye also was
what he was, except when he
wore Olive's dresses.
Haiku # 59908, October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Plaid Kaleidoscope
Rod Stewart's old tartan spew
Clean out the bagpipe
Haiku # 59907, October 8, 2018 3:16 am ET
by Starkitten of High road
Sniffing the chair seats
Just after people get up
A low cost hobby
Haiku # 59906, October 8, 2018 3:10 am ET
by Frugal Freddy of Movie seats that smell like cheese and feet
Lying beside you
After the crash.Detached twat
Has covered your face
Haiku # 59905, October 8, 2018 3:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Sung to Highway Crash Journey song whatever
I know that you know
That I know you know that I
Know that you know that
Haiku # 59904, October 8, 2018 2:49 am ET
by Starkitten
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