BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
351 Days
68544 Haikus
god damn vogons
Haiku #59948, by vhs
October 9, 2018 8:44 am ET

Speaking of feces,
South Park this Wednesday features
Mr. Hankey the

Christmas Poo. Don't miss
it -- it's a new episode.
You smell like flowers!
Haiku #59947, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 9, 2018 3:56 am ET

It would not have sunk
It would certainly have stunk.
Don't sleep with a skunk.
Haiku #59946, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 9, 2018 3:51 am ET

I'm so confused now
Dinosaurs would sink the ark
It gives me the creeps
Haiku #59945, by Confused
October 9, 2018 3:44 am ET

What about poop?
Mentioned in the Bible?
The ark would have sunk
Haiku #59944, by Anonymous Poet
October 9, 2018 3:26 am ET

izin betweeeeen
the sheets.

Diarrhea bomb pop frozen treats for flies on a hot summer's day.
Haiku #59943, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 9, 2018 1:01 am ET

Flatulence is gas
Fecal matter is solid
What is in between?
Haiku #59942, by Science Kid
October 9, 2018 12:00 am ET

Ring bell for service
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
Ding ding ding ding ding
Haiku #59941, by Ding Dong
October 8, 2018 11:58 pm ET

I fought the Devil.
That was a long time ago.
Now we are best friends.

Sometimes he pays me.
It's contract labor, you see.
He buys my poems.

My work's quite famous
down in the fiery pits.
Torturing sinners.
Haiku #59940, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 11:46 pm ET

Wearing pantyhose
Over your head. Sniff sniff sniff
Clear the sinuses
Haiku #59939, by Dr. Oz of At the Landfill tossing my Neti Pot
October 8, 2018 11:18 pm ET

Domestic Dispute
Hot Frying Pan Concussion
Thoughtful wedding gift
Haiku #59938, by Edie Brickell of Drinking in closet
October 8, 2018 11:08 pm ET

Is it the Devil?
How can you tell if it's him
Or a plain demon?
Haiku #59937, by Want to know
October 8, 2018 11:02 pm ET

I shouldn't say this:
Televise the fight on the
Jerry Springer show.
Haiku #59936, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 8:54 pm ET

Just throw poo at them.
Works for me every time.
The in-laws hate me.
Haiku #59935, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 8:52 pm ET

well i got a real
life fight to attend to I'm
not sure if it will

be just spiritual
warfare or something else of
a different sort
Haiku #59934, by vhs
October 8, 2018 7:31 pm ET

I am so so-so
and simultaneously

Go and ask your mom.
She'll tell you all about it.
Skipping the details.
Haiku #59933, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 7:19 pm ET

Haiku #59932, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 7:16 pm ET

First we would dry up
The wind would blow us away
Be our Haiku Dad.
Haiku #59931, by Haiku Orphan of Haiku Orphanage
October 8, 2018 5:54 pm ET

gee what happens if
i stop posting poems here
to react to, eh?
Haiku #59930, by vhs
October 8, 2018 5:35 pm ET

Sweet Baby James
Jim Morrison. Diaper Clad.
Petite concho belt
Haiku #59929, by Halloween Costume Advice of Horse's Ass
October 8, 2018 4:22 pm ET

Uber Eats (you out)
Delivering to your door
Hot Cunnilingus
Haiku #59928, by Brett Banjopicker
October 8, 2018 3:55 pm ET

That guy VHS
Writes all the poetry here
Under assumed names
Haiku #59927, by Snopes
October 8, 2018 3:52 pm ET

Bailey's with acid.
Guess I'll call it synthamesc.
Mescaline's too rare.

Oh, wait, this is cool!
I can order it onine!
Fuck yeah! I'll do that!
Haiku #59926, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 3:49 pm ET

Roosters are crowing.
I think I'll rape a chicken.
And force them to watch.

Fuckers wake me up.
Nah, I was already up.
But any excuse.

I was up because,
well, meth does that to a guy.
Haiku #59925, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 3:42 pm ET

Halloween costumes.
I'll dress up as a baby.
Depends, whiskey bottle.

I might even cry.
Craving a milky nipple.
Bailey's will do then.
Haiku #59924, by DARTH FIGPUCKER of
October 8, 2018 2:14 pm ET

Your friend Starkitten
Like Little Edie
Haiku #59923, by Staunch Character of Grey Gardens
October 8, 2018 1:20 pm ET

Goose Honking Season
Looked up..Pterodactyls!!
Drunk on Jeff Daniels
Haiku #59922, by Dyslexic Alcoholics of Behind Edie Brickell at the liquor store
October 8, 2018 12:33 pm ET

Which does God hate more,
poets, homosexuals,
or Justin Bieber?
Haiku #59921, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 11:57 am ET

It's not easy to
make the second line shorter
than the other two.
Haiku #59920, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET

He stood mouth agape.
Her enormous vagina
left him quite speechless.
Haiku #59919, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET

Keep your computer
on auto refresh so you
can post new haiku.
Haiku #59918, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 6:55 am ET

Worship the sun God.
Almighty Rah, show us your love.
Make this ganja grow!
Haiku #59917, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 6:54 am ET

Popeye did gay porn.
When he ate spinach, look out.
Sphincter muskle clamp.

But all that fiber
made for messy money shots.
Set screw clean up hell.
Haiku #59916, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 6:51 am ET

Motorcycle Priest
Putting hickeys on the nuns
Passing out Funyuns
Haiku #59915, by Sister lnhalealotta
October 8, 2018 6:20 am ET

Those kids had no eyes
Sockets filled with black olives
Six inch extra meat
Haiku #59914, by Malachi
October 8, 2018 6:07 am ET

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff
wag wag wag i'm a good boy
ears perk up - SQUIRREL!
Haiku #59913, by Black Lab of local park
October 8, 2018 3:34 am ET

Jared from Subway
A pedophile meets his match
The Black Eyed Children
Haiku #59912, by EAT HIS SOUL
October 8, 2018 3:31 am ET

The black lab version
Squeeze a can of tennis balls
Wag Wag Wag Wag Wag
Haiku #59911, by Starkitten
October 8, 2018 3:30 am ET

Spinach does the trick
Squeeze the can. Gulp Gulp Gulp
Admire my Muskles
Haiku #59910, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest dented cans
October 8, 2018 3:26 am ET

Frosted Haggis Flakes
infernal itching! Fuck wool!
Argyle Sock Condom!
Haiku #59909, by Something Something of Heavering
October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET

Popeye also was
what he was, except when he
wore Olive's dresses.
Haiku #59908, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET

Plaid Kaleidoscope
Rod Stewart's old tartan spew
Clean out the bagpipe
Haiku #59907, by Starkitten of High road
October 8, 2018 3:16 am ET

Sniffing the chair seats
Just after people get up
A low cost hobby
Haiku #59906, by Frugal Freddy of Movie seats that smell like cheese and feet
October 8, 2018 3:10 am ET

Lying beside you
After the crash.Detached twat
Has covered your face
Haiku #59905, by Anonymous Poet of Sung to Highway Crash Journey song whatever
October 8, 2018 3:01 am ET

I know that you know
That I know you know that I
Know that you know that
Haiku #59904, by Starkitten
October 8, 2018 2:49 am ET

My pet snake teaching
Me some really cool new tricks
Then I throw him down
Haiku #59903, by Ophiuchus
October 8, 2018 1:35 am ET

We played cards instead
Unconsummated marriage
Strip Poker. Go Fish.
Haiku #59902, by Old Maid of Undisclosed Pacfic Northwest Location
October 8, 2018 12:31 am ET

O'dor doo Toilet
Fecal Contamination
Chanel Number 2
Haiku #59901, by Gwynneth Paltrow of Goopwich, CT
October 8, 2018 12:26 am ET

If I wore a bra
Or panties for that matter
I'd fling them on stage
Haiku #59900, by Jonesin for Tom Jones of Who now looks like Robert Plant's evil twin
October 8, 2018 12:17 am ET

Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world
Or never belong
I gotta be me
I've got to be me
What else can I be
But what I am?
Haiku #59899, by Tony Clifton, Jr. of Las Vegas
October 7, 2018 11:56 pm ET