Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72687 Haikus later...

He made passionate
love to a Galapagos
turtle named Susan.
Haiku # 59468, September 18, 2018 9:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Drink instant coffee
Things I never thought I'd do
Nobel Prize: Haiku!!!!!!!
Haiku # 59467, September 18, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starry Starry Night
Paint your penis blue and green
Where's the Vaseline?
Haiku # 59466, September 18, 2018 6:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of Vincent Van Goat's Place
Hairless Pink Haiku
Still wet. Glistens. Morning dew.
Was it good for you?
Haiku # 59465, September 18, 2018 5:38 pm ET
by Starkitten of Smoking imaginary cigarette
Thank Miley Cyrus
For letting me crash Bad Haiku
On her wrecking ball!!
Haiku # 59464, September 18, 2018 5:05 pm ET
by Starkitten of Nude with Cattitude!!
Flew with Aer Lingus
Not as expected. Complained.
Upgrade to cockpit
Haiku # 59463, September 18, 2018 4:59 pm ET
by Starkitten Tongues were wagging of The old sod
His Name is Wuji
I know a cat in Burma
Are you familiar?
Haiku # 59462, September 18, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Starkitten and my familiar of Whisker City
Annabella Lwin
you great Burmese prophetess
Sing! Bow wow wow wow
Haiku # 59461, September 18, 2018 2:43 pm ET
by the old Moulmein Pagoda of Mandalay
Fuck haiku. Kill it.
Leave corpse in the filthy mud.
Well . . . I was upset.
Haiku # 59460, September 18, 2018 2:36 pm ET
by negating the Life Force you become slave of DEATH
Buy a loaf of bread:
load banknotes in wheelbarrow
Sorry! Out of bread.
Haiku # 59459, September 18, 2018 2:33 pm ET
by mocking socialism we make light of darkness
Hail Great ZIMBABWE !
Our mother and lioness;
Bread-basket of . . . wait--
Haiku # 59458, September 18, 2018 2:31 pm ET
by by mocking Mama Afrika you show you are not of the blessed Motherland
In love with strangers...
GOD can make you fall in love
with total strangers.
Haiku # 59457, September 18, 2018 2:27 pm ET
by leaving earth become aware of the afterlife
No, no, not "Euro"--
UROgynecology!
You need to listen.
Haiku # 59456, September 18, 2018 1:51 pm ET
by now you ought to know me as Lord of Haiku Lords
Starkitten laugh now
Hacking up giant hair ball
Haiku Tumbleweed
Haiku # 59455, September 18, 2018 1:45 pm ET
by Starkitten of The Moist Pacific Northwest
No one left standing?
You bitches thought you could write
Haiku. You dead now.
Haiku # 59454, September 18, 2018 1:20 pm ET
by reading this, you crown me King of Haiku
Trump is so punk-rock
(like Iggy and the Stooges)
He kicks Haiku's ass
Haiku # 59453, September 18, 2018 1:15 pm ET
by Fury of the imminent orange storm
Dear Alan Greenspan:
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
leaves a nasty smell.
Haiku # 59452, September 18, 2018 12:58 pm ET
by staying in denial, you hasten breakdown of meaningful discourse.
What do you get when
a poet takes way too much
laxative?... Haiku!
Haiku # 59451, September 18, 2018 10:17 am ET
by
Sexy Starkitten ?
Fat balding hairy old man !
(online persona)
Haiku # 59450, September 18, 2018 9:47 am ET
by Myriad Deceptions of the internet
Hey! Too much poop-talk.
Starkitten rub off on you?
She bad example.
Haiku # 59449, September 18, 2018 9:43 am ET
by Ex-disciple of Wicked Starkitten
Pink Floyd at Pompeii
Virtue-signal to the gods
But music still rocks
Haiku # 59448, September 18, 2018 9:24 am ET
by Echoes of Meddle
Wipe your ass too fast:
You get shit on your fingers.
That's Satori (Zen)
Haiku # 59447, September 18, 2018 9:11 am ET
by toilet tissue of the Buddha
Truth is, Haiku sucks
Lyrically, poetically...
Yeah. Haiku just sucks.
Haiku # 59446, September 18, 2018 9:03 am ET
by the fragrance of Miso broth and noodles
Reactionaries!
Traitors to Revolution!
More vodka please, dear.
Haiku # 59445, September 18, 2018 8:57 am ET
by the smoking pipe of Iosif V. Dzhugashvili
Big Hollywood stars
Important ceremony
It's TONIGHT, I think . . .
Haiku # 59444, September 18, 2018 8:48 am ET
by the time you read this, America got tired of Hollyweird
Evening light falls west
Soft wind stirs the mountain grove
Oh no! Massive fart.
Haiku # 59443, September 18, 2018 8:42 am ET
by Basho-san get bad case of Haiku flatulence
Haiku in the car
Haiku while in the bathroom
Haiku everywhere
Haiku # 59442, September 18, 2018 8:36 am ET
by Haiku not tired of winning
Remember the time
Grandfather got all mixed up
Shit in the breadbox

Must be organic
Sprouted Pumpernickel Loaf?
Baked fresh each morning
Haiku # 59441, September 18, 2018 6:31 am ET
by Starkitten of House of the Rising Loaf
We whipped our brassieres
High in leafless tree branches
The cackle of witches
Haiku # 59440, September 18, 2018 6:07 am ET
by Switch Witch Bitch
I am.
You are not.
But this just might be.
I think no one knows for sure.
Here's the point where my dick falls off and I scream.
Holy Mother of God, what the fuck was that bullshit.
If you think about it, this is much better than any old haiku.
Fa-shizzle ma nizzle, not my nipple, snuffleupagus pot pie served hot.
Haiku # 59439, September 18, 2018 5:42 am ET
by df
Mary Lou Retton
Flexible Oompa Loompa
The spawn of Satan
Haiku # 59438, September 18, 2018 3:19 am ET
by Starkitten of Worldwide Haters of Retton, Reagan, and Reeboks
Her ass dribbled like
the pro basketball team that
she just had sex with.
Haiku # 59437, September 18, 2018 2:59 am ET
by df
Pink Floyd at Pompeii.
Sacrifice virgins to gods.
But lava still flows.
Haiku # 59436, September 18, 2018 2:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just don't kill yourself.
You'll burn in Hell forever!
And I'll be there too.
Haiku # 59435, September 18, 2018 2:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Rolling in feces.
Chef prepared roast beef dinner.
The dreams of all dogs.
Haiku # 59434, September 18, 2018 12:03 am ET
by Starkitten
The tip of your tongue
Haiku: Fun for everyone!
It's Funnilingus!
Haiku # 59433, September 17, 2018 11:58 pm ET
by God
Have a bit of fun
Go up there like Balloon Boy
We'll call Wolf Blitzer
Haiku # 59432, September 17, 2018 10:53 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Roving Reporter and John Boy Walton's mole Hindenburg episode cranking Led Zep
I used to do drugs
I still do
But I used to, too
Haiku # 59431, September 17, 2018 10:35 pm ET
by Ghost of Mitch of RIP
Breath of a Salesman
A Cunnilingus salesman
At Fisherman's Wharf
Haiku # 59430, September 17, 2018 10:25 pm ET
by Starkitten
I come here for fun
I have no immune system
Don't see anyone
Haiku # 59429, September 17, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Starkitten of Plastic Travoltaless Bubble
I love all of you
And I love your Bad Haiku
Cunnilingus too!
Haiku # 59428, September 17, 2018 10:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
i want to let it all go
Haiku # 59427, September 17, 2018 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
Cunning Linguistics,
Cunning Linguistics, and more
Cunning Linguistics!
Haiku # 59426, September 17, 2018 9:59 pm ET
by Tsar Shittin'
Leave now, vhs.
Give your Dell to charity.
Go wander the earth.

Write a large book.
Call it, "Haiku hurt my butt"
Learn to play guitar.

You can be famous.
Women, money, hard drugs, guns,
fast cars, and Jesus.
Haiku # 59425, September 17, 2018 9:55 pm ET
by df of Just kidding, you know we love you!
Got 2 turntables...
You're like a broken record
Akashic Record
Haiku # 59424, September 17, 2018 9:48 pm ET
by Starkitten
Dang, you all so whack
I'm just like: this Haiku shit
Is for reelz, gnome sain?
Haiku # 59422, September 17, 2018 9:32 pm ET
by the Untouchable White Master of Ebonics
Wait until Thursday
Thoreauback Thursday, my friend
Return to nature
Haiku # 59421, September 17, 2018 9:08 pm ET
by Starkitten of Ten Penny Henry David Thoreaully enjoying himself
there's an urge to walk
away from all of this and just
turn all of this off
Haiku # 59420, September 17, 2018 8:57 pm ET
by vhs
John Boy Walton's mole
Won five Golden Globe Awards
Got laid all the time
Haiku # 59419, September 17, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Starkitten of Walton's Mountain. John Boy Walton's mole's room
Cleaned grandfather clock
I mean cleaned our Grandpa's cock
Polished Grandpa's knob
Haiku # 59418, September 17, 2018 8:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Walton's Mountain: The Lost Episodes
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