Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 215 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

What song will the last
human listen to as he
or she lays dying.
Haiku # 57762, December 10, 2017 9:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pachyderms cannot
be blamed for holding grudges;
they're nearly extinct.
Haiku # 57761, December 10, 2017 9:22 pm ET
by df
People bitch about GMOs
The solution is a drought and
10,000 chain smoking crows
Haiku # 57760, December 10, 2017 8:54 pm ET
by Crow #1
During the time of the black death
Skeletal men in black robes were seen
This is where the image of the Grim
Reaper comes from - but they did not
Have sickles, they waved staffs as
They went through rye fields, spreading
A black fog throughout... An explosion
Of ergotism and famine was the result
Haiku # 57759, December 10, 2017 8:52 pm ET
by dvd
how do you turn a
web comic female person
into literature???
Haiku # 57758, December 10, 2017 11:08 am ET
by vhs
existential deaths
died when irony fell in
9/11, we thought

Haiku # 57757, December 9, 2017 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
loaded with grudges
the elephant in the room
can never forgive
Haiku # 57756, December 9, 2017 8:19 pm ET
by ash
my best intentions
can never be good enough
Haiku # 57755, December 9, 2017 8:11 pm ET
by ash
my failed compliments
are the red rags to the bull
who sees monochrome
Haiku # 57754, December 9, 2017 7:42 pm ET
by ash
hmm german delis
would never be the same once
lsd reubens

hit the market
Haiku # 57753, December 9, 2017 2:44 pm ET
by vhs
LSD comes from
rye wheat fungus but I can't
trip on a Reuben.

Weaponized airborne
ergot infections would make
earth a better place.

Mustard gas passe.
Passed the gassy Grey Poupon.
Dijon and Kraut farts.

Psychadelic lunch
corned beef, swiss, kraut, on rye
with yellow cap shrooms.
Haiku # 57752, December 9, 2017 9:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Animals are nice
Sometimes they might have some lice
You can still eat them
Haiku # 57751, December 9, 2017 5:20 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of The land where cats rule
Aww, vhs remember
Things could also be worse
At least you're not DF
Haiku # 57750, December 8, 2017 4:59 pm ET
by Atlas Pooped
not much in the mood
today, all the things I'm chasing
are just mirages...
Haiku # 57749, December 8, 2017 12:33 pm ET
by vhs
Some farmers down south
Pay good money to hunters
Who kill wild hogs
Haiku # 57748, December 8, 2017 2:42 am ET
by dvd of profiting from disaster can be kosher
Six million wild hogs
Destroying America
Eat lots of bacon
Haiku # 57747, December 8, 2017 12:44 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Offering solutions in times of crisis
Shit just got real here
Anonymous cowards suck
Even I know that
Haiku # 57746, December 8, 2017 12:39 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
depends on what you
smoke, with what and how often
you blow the smoke out
Haiku # 57745, December 7, 2017 10:57 pm ET
by vhs
yum yum yum you know
how much salt is in old spam
i wont eat the stuff
Haiku # 57741, December 6, 2017 10:54 am ET
by vhs
Hooray spam is back
Like rotten maggots feasting
On internet rot
Haiku # 57740, December 6, 2017 1:20 am ET
by Concerned American
well censorship of
baby boomers who do not
value human life

great stuff ;)
Haiku # 57739, December 5, 2017 10:34 am ET
by vhs of damn zombies
The butane hash oil I am so fond of
Is, by mass, the same price
As electronics grade gold... I'm poor
But withdrawal from nicotine and
Caffeine make cannabis withdrawal
Laughably easy
My endocannabinoid system will
Fully recover and so will my wallet
Haiku # 57737, December 4, 2017 10:41 pm ET
by dvd
But if you love it,
if you love your addiction,
is it all that bad?

Science, music, athletics, cannibalism...
all great stuff!
Haiku # 57736, December 4, 2017 10:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
addiction is a
downer, food, internet, games
even vanilla things

the ordinary drag of life
Haiku # 57735, December 4, 2017 1:52 pm ET
by vhs
ill try to get some
folks posting if i can but
christmas is coming
Haiku # 57734, December 3, 2017 11:05 pm ET
by vhs
Cannabis - panic attacks every time
The weird thing is that truly
I enjoy that so fucking much
Haiku # 57733, December 3, 2017 9:04 pm ET
by dvd of walking a fine line between dependence and addiction
vhs got a galaxy tablet
this is not fake news
preparing for apocalypse
Haiku # 57732, December 3, 2017 2:18 pm ET
by dvd of studying the exotic element: "Uuu" aka Devonium
that's good my dear sir
that's pretty damn good nice to
see you's me!
Haiku # 57731, December 3, 2017 2:05 pm ET
by vhs
I must stay silent
Lest they reveal my own guise
I must stay quiet
Haiku # 57730, December 3, 2017 2:01 pm ET
by Ghsostbusters2
i kinda wish there
was an internet free zone
and more pay phones now...
Haiku # 57729, December 3, 2017 1:25 pm ET
by vhs
i'd be terrified
to see what DeeTox would put
on here in haiku
Haiku # 57728, December 3, 2017 12:44 pm ET
by vhs
i didnt know neutrons
yes of xourse they do theyre for

neutrons pop other
nuclear cherries till bang

dont want that
Haiku # 57727, December 2, 2017 11:53 pm ET
by vhs of on a tablet
youre talking to an
old sci fi whore ya Duke see
wormholes, portals, as

tral...btw check yer email soon
Haiku # 57726, December 2, 2017 11:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Before warp capability gotta figure out
Muon catalyzed fusion within
Perdeuterofullerane using harmonic Radiation - problems being how to Survive the ensuing cascade of Neutron radiation and UV light
Until I figure that out you won't be able
To spread your DNA through the galaxy
Haiku # 57725, December 2, 2017 11:05 pm ET
by dvd of sorry, vhs you'll have to wait
Happy December!
Last month of a shitty year
Go poop in a bucket
Haiku # 57724, December 1, 2017 9:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well if you can make
a dvd works warp drive
well hmm...ideas, big

brother can go pfft
Haiku # 57723, December 1, 2017 10:47 am ET
by vhs
well between people
stuck on following life time
routines good or bad

and me trying to
save the world because i think
im like the Doctor

where's the middle way in that?
Haiku # 57722, November 30, 2017 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My science boner:
At room temperature
Haiku # 57721, November 30, 2017 8:01 pm ET
by the artist formerly known dvd of the lab, hard at work
Also I would like
To have my wisdom teeth removed
Skull cracking headaches
Haiku # 57720, November 30, 2017 3:09 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
What's on the menu?
The bread and wine and oil
Are made new again
Other than that I think
I'll spend some time on the water
Hopefully make some money
Make new friends and hopefully
Keep the old ones too
Haiku # 57719, November 30, 2017 3:07 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
John Lennon would have liked to say
There are no problems only solutions
But he got shot and now he's dead
Haiku # 57718, November 30, 2017 2:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
no we need rockets
to go into space or some

get that greening of america out of yo mind yo boomer boy
Haiku # 57717, November 30, 2017 11:06 am ET
by vhs
the irony my
deeply missed friend is what is
next on the menu?
Haiku # 57716, November 30, 2017 11:05 am ET
by vhs
P.S. Google Kellyanne Conway and Beavis for a good laugh.
Haiku # 57715, November 30, 2017 11:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Opioids are not the problem.
War is not the problem.
Who is president is not the problem.
Even environmental destruction is not the problem.
The problem is overpopulation.
All else is symptomatic.

The only solution is a "superbug".
I personally like the idea of an airborne
antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

I tried to make such a bug by
recreational activities,
but all I got was singing balls.

They sing "Poker Face".
I wouldn't mind Jethro Tull
Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

But what do I get?
Balls that sing Lady Gaga.
Karaoke balls.
Haiku # 57714, November 30, 2017 11:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Also whoever had the idea
To put Kellyanne Conway
In charge of the nation's opioid crisis
Should be fired or at the very least
Be sent to his room without supper
Solution to the opioid crisis:
Legalize ibogaine and have free clinics
Or nothing will change whatsoever
Haiku # 57713, November 30, 2017 10:17 am ET
by 28 year old 6 year old
Yes there are people that believe
That the world is flat...
And yet they are allowed
To fucking build rockets
I mean... I'm no more likely to vote
Darth Figpucker for President
Because I still have some love
For humanity, but that is tested daily
Haiku # 57712, November 30, 2017 10:05 am ET
by 6 year old 28 year old
I've proudly never
shizzled anyone's nizzle,
whatever that is.
Haiku # 57711, November 30, 2017 7:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wish I could sleep.
My testicles won't let me.
They keep on singing.
Haiku # 57710, November 30, 2017 7:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snickerdoodle pie
a la mode caramel drizzle
shizzle my nizzle.
Haiku # 57709, November 30, 2017 6:59 am ET
by beta vhs dvd blu-ray 4K-ultra poo-berries of media humping platapus
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