Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 212 Days and 70746 Haikus later...

i didnt know neutrons
yes of xourse they do theyre for
nuclearvfission

neutrons pop other
nuclear cherries till bang
chernoybl...we

dont want that
Haiku # 57727, December 2, 2017 11:53 pm ET
by vhs of on a tablet
youre talking to an
old sci fi whore ya Duke see
wormholes, portals, as

tral...btw check yer email soon
Haiku # 57726, December 2, 2017 11:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Before warp capability gotta figure out
Muon catalyzed fusion within
Perdeuterofullerane using harmonic Radiation - problems being how to Survive the ensuing cascade of Neutron radiation and UV light
Until I figure that out you won't be able
To spread your DNA through the galaxy
Haiku # 57725, December 2, 2017 11:05 pm ET
by dvd of sorry, vhs you'll have to wait
Happy December!
Last month of a shitty year
Go poop in a bucket
Haiku # 57724, December 1, 2017 9:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well if you can make
a dvd works warp drive
well hmm...ideas, big

brother can go pfft
Haiku # 57723, December 1, 2017 10:47 am ET
by vhs
well between people
stuck on following life time
routines good or bad

and me trying to
save the world because i think
im like the Doctor

where's the middle way in that?
Haiku # 57722, November 30, 2017 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My science boner:
Superconditivity...
At room temperature
Haiku # 57721, November 30, 2017 8:01 pm ET
by the artist formerly known dvd of the lab, hard at work
Also I would like
To have my wisdom teeth removed
Skull cracking headaches
Haiku # 57720, November 30, 2017 3:09 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
What's on the menu?
The bread and wine and oil
Are made new again
Other than that I think
I'll spend some time on the water
Hopefully make some money
Make new friends and hopefully
Keep the old ones too
Haiku # 57719, November 30, 2017 3:07 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
John Lennon would have liked to say
There are no problems only solutions
But he got shot and now he's dead
Haiku # 57718, November 30, 2017 2:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
no we need rockets
to go into space or some
warping approach...now

get that greening of america out of yo mind yo boomer boy
Haiku # 57717, November 30, 2017 11:06 am ET
by vhs
the irony my
deeply missed friend is what is
next on the menu?
Haiku # 57716, November 30, 2017 11:05 am ET
by vhs
P.S. Google Kellyanne Conway and Beavis for a good laugh.
Haiku # 57715, November 30, 2017 11:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Opioids are not the problem.
War is not the problem.
Who is president is not the problem.
Even environmental destruction is not the problem.
The problem is overpopulation.
All else is symptomatic.

The only solution is a "superbug".
I personally like the idea of an airborne
antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

I tried to make such a bug by
recreational activities,
but all I got was singing balls.

They sing "Poker Face".
I wouldn't mind Jethro Tull
Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

But what do I get?
Balls that sing Lady Gaga.
Karaoke balls.
Haiku # 57714, November 30, 2017 11:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Also whoever had the idea
To put Kellyanne Conway
In charge of the nation's opioid crisis
Should be fired or at the very least
Be sent to his room without supper
Solution to the opioid crisis:
Legalize ibogaine and have free clinics
Or nothing will change whatsoever
Haiku # 57713, November 30, 2017 10:17 am ET
by 28 year old 6 year old
Yes there are people that believe
That the world is flat...
And yet they are allowed
To fucking build rockets
I mean... I'm no more likely to vote
Darth Figpucker for President
Because I still have some love
For humanity, but that is tested daily
Haiku # 57712, November 30, 2017 10:05 am ET
by 6 year old 28 year old
I've proudly never
shizzled anyone's nizzle,
whatever that is.
Haiku # 57711, November 30, 2017 7:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wish I could sleep.
My testicles won't let me.
They keep on singing.
Haiku # 57710, November 30, 2017 7:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snickerdoodle pie
a la mode caramel drizzle
shizzle my nizzle.
Haiku # 57709, November 30, 2017 6:59 am ET
by beta vhs dvd blu-ray 4K-ultra poo-berries of media humping platapus
I think obviously that was done in sick humor only. Perverts don't make perverted jokes about being perverts. Or do they?
"Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent."
And I wouldn't call Ian Anderson a perv for such lyrics, but oh well.
Haiku # 57708, November 29, 2017 6:02 pm ET
by df
Someone's been spending
Way too much time at the
Ping Pong Pizza Place
Haiku # 57707, November 29, 2017 12:32 pm ET
by Deep Dish
Times are so creepy
And you are adding to it
I mean wow, really?
Haiku # 57706, November 29, 2017 9:15 am ET
by Concerned American
Smarties candy best
The little boys will attest
Reach in my pocket
Haiku # 57705, November 29, 2017 12:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chocolate goat milk
super-duper strong coffee
buzz-buzz masterbait

master bait
novice trap
newbie boobie
silicon valley

Have you ever tried
all organic Cheesy Poofs?
That is a real thing!
Haiku # 57704, November 28, 2017 5:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
the man had the roost
all to hisself, it ain't much
fun like it is though...
Haiku # 57703, November 28, 2017 12:36 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes you just say
ah fuggetaboutit and
let go, there it is
Haiku # 57702, November 27, 2017 12:01 pm ET
by vhs
expecting much from
people, alas people do
dissapoint people
Haiku # 57701, November 27, 2017 10:52 am ET
by vhs
slow down and observe
the moment and the whole zen
thing soon makes some sense
Haiku # 57700, November 27, 2017 10:05 am ET
by vhs
rush rush rush, hurry
hurry hurry, get things done
then next day you die
Haiku # 57699, November 27, 2017 9:38 am ET
by vhs
drug are bad mmkay?
you know south park, midwest, cut
outs, cartman, now stay

away from my cheesy poofs
Haiku # 57698, November 27, 2017 8:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You know how helium makes your voice sound like the chipmunks, well nitrous makes your voice slightly deep like Satan has taken over your body... another fun reason to try it.
Haiku # 57697, November 27, 2017 1:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I think I have it!
I'll start doing whip-cream gas.
Nitrous oxide laugh.

Just say N2O.
Like being at the dentist,
No drilling needed.
Haiku # 57696, November 27, 2017 1:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
But I could get killed.
Police kill drug users here.
So what should I do?
Haiku # 57695, November 27, 2017 1:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need some hard drugs.
My wife said she would leave me
if I start with drugs.
Haiku # 57694, November 27, 2017 1:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not a bad idea!
But what will I serve for drinks?
Pina Colada?
Haiku # 57693, November 27, 2017 1:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Remove seat from bike
Replace with it with a bar stool
Hipster super cool
Haiku # 57692, November 27, 2017 12:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll ride my bike all
day long to the point of
exhaustion or death.

But I hate that feeling of the pointy bike seat feeling like its going up your ass like you've fallen drunkenly asleep at a frat party and some drunk "Eata Pumpkin Pie" has had too much X and discovered that he has homosexual tendencies after his "girlfriend" went home with some football player and can you blame her. Fucking bike seats.
Haiku # 57691, November 26, 2017 8:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Erectify Cheer.
Bono boner bonbon hump.
Help me, Lord Satan!
Haiku # 57690, November 26, 2017 8:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
In the depths of mind,
one cannot truly see life
from faults of the past
Haiku # 57689, November 26, 2017 5:39 pm ET
by Liv of Puerto Rico
once vibrant storefronts
give way to for sale or rent
signs and tattered paint
Haiku # 57688, November 26, 2017 1:20 pm ET
by vhs
"The sphinx's sphincter
made quite an uncommon toot,"
said Tutankhamun.
Haiku # 57687, November 26, 2017 5:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Penile implant.
Nile crocodile Lyle.
Ate Neffer-titty.

It is not normal.
Uncommon Tutankhamun.
He smoked too much hash.
Haiku # 57686, November 25, 2017 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
people make choices
and we may not agree but
we will miss y'all
Haiku # 57685, November 25, 2017 10:49 am ET
by vhs
hmm i understand
words better if you don't mind
guys will be guys though
Haiku # 57684, November 24, 2017 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
The meaning of life
One's life can have a meaning
I don't know how to quantify that
Haiku # 57683, November 24, 2017 1:25 am ET
by dvd of took high school algebra 3 times and didn't pass until grumpy mr wright was my algebra teacher
The meaning of life
Is it a variable
In the equation ?
Haiku # 57682, November 24, 2017 12:04 am ET
by You boys suck at math of Arabs invented your numbers
if it were a bad
haiku on thanksgiving it
would be a turkey

so stuff it as you will
and cover it with gravy
Haiku # 57681, November 23, 2017 3:56 pm ET
by vhs
happy thanksgiving
forty two is the answer
what is the question?
Haiku # 57680, November 22, 2017 6:26 pm ET
by vhs
Happy Thanksgiving.
Eat lots of sweet potato,
turkey and gravy.
Haiku # 57679, November 22, 2017 1:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
difference is that
I'd end up marrying one
of the green girls there

don't tell De, he thinks
if the girl is green she gone
past experation
Haiku # 57678, November 21, 2017 6:08 pm ET
by vhs
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