BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
310 Days
68075 Haikus
Also I would like
To have my wisdom teeth removed
Skull cracking headaches
Haiku #57720, by Adam Ben Adam
November 30, 2017 3:09 pm ET

What's on the menu?
The bread and wine and oil
Are made new again
Other than that I think
I'll spend some time on the water
Hopefully make some money
Make new friends and hopefully
Keep the old ones too
Haiku #57719, by Adam Ben Adam
November 30, 2017 3:07 pm ET

John Lennon would have liked to say
There are no problems only solutions
But he got shot and now he's dead
Haiku #57718, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 2:49 pm ET

no we need rockets
to go into space or some

get that greening of america out of yo mind yo boomer boy
Haiku #57717, by vhs
November 30, 2017 11:06 am ET

the irony my
deeply missed friend is what is
next on the menu?
Haiku #57716, by vhs
November 30, 2017 11:05 am ET

P.S. Google Kellyanne Conway and Beavis for a good laugh.
Haiku #57715, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 11:04 am ET

Opioids are not the problem.
War is not the problem.
Who is president is not the problem.
Even environmental destruction is not the problem.
The problem is overpopulation.
All else is symptomatic.

The only solution is a "superbug".
I personally like the idea of an airborne
antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

I tried to make such a bug by
recreational activities,
but all I got was singing balls.

They sing "Poker Face".
I wouldn't mind Jethro Tull
Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

But what do I get?
Balls that sing Lady Gaga.
Karaoke balls.
Haiku #57714, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 11:02 am ET

Also whoever had the idea
To put Kellyanne Conway
In charge of the nation's opioid crisis
Should be fired or at the very least
Be sent to his room without supper
Solution to the opioid crisis:
Legalize ibogaine and have free clinics
Or nothing will change whatsoever
Haiku #57713, by 28 year old 6 year old
November 30, 2017 10:17 am ET

Yes there are people that believe
That the world is flat...
And yet they are allowed
To fucking build rockets
I mean... I'm no more likely to vote
Darth Figpucker for President
Because I still have some love
For humanity, but that is tested daily
Haiku #57712, by 6 year old 28 year old
November 30, 2017 10:05 am ET

I've proudly never
shizzled anyone's nizzle,
whatever that is.
Haiku #57711, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 7:03 am ET

I wish I could sleep.
My testicles won't let me.
They keep on singing.
Haiku #57710, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 7:01 am ET

Snickerdoodle pie
a la mode caramel drizzle
shizzle my nizzle.
Haiku #57709, by beta vhs dvd blu-ray 4K-ultra poo-berries of media humping platapus
November 30, 2017 6:59 am ET

I think obviously that was done in sick humor only. Perverts don't make perverted jokes about being perverts. Or do they?
"Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent."
And I wouldn't call Ian Anderson a perv for such lyrics, but oh well.
Haiku #57708, by df
November 29, 2017 6:02 pm ET

Someone's been spending
Way too much time at the
Ping Pong Pizza Place
Haiku #57707, by Deep Dish
November 29, 2017 12:32 pm ET

Times are so creepy
And you are adding to it
I mean wow, really?
Haiku #57706, by Concerned American
November 29, 2017 9:15 am ET

Smarties candy best
The little boys will attest
Reach in my pocket
Haiku #57705, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2017 12:41 am ET

Chocolate goat milk
super-duper strong coffee
buzz-buzz masterbait

master bait
novice trap
newbie boobie
silicon valley

Have you ever tried
all organic Cheesy Poofs?
That is a real thing!
Haiku #57704, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2017 5:23 pm ET

the man had the roost
all to hisself, it ain't much
fun like it is though...
Haiku #57703, by vhs
November 28, 2017 12:36 pm ET

sometimes you just say
ah fuggetaboutit and
let go, there it is
Haiku #57702, by vhs
November 27, 2017 12:01 pm ET

expecting much from
people, alas people do
dissapoint people
Haiku #57701, by vhs
November 27, 2017 10:52 am ET

slow down and observe
the moment and the whole zen
thing soon makes some sense
Haiku #57700, by vhs
November 27, 2017 10:05 am ET

rush rush rush, hurry
hurry hurry, get things done
then next day you die
Haiku #57699, by vhs
November 27, 2017 9:38 am ET

drug are bad mmkay?
you know south park, midwest, cut
outs, cartman, now stay

away from my cheesy poofs
Haiku #57698, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 8:23 am ET

You know how helium makes your voice sound like the chipmunks, well nitrous makes your voice slightly deep like Satan has taken over your body... another fun reason to try it.
Haiku #57697, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 1:53 am ET

I think I have it!
I'll start doing whip-cream gas.
Nitrous oxide laugh.

Just say N2O.
Like being at the dentist,
No drilling needed.
Haiku #57696, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 1:52 am ET

But I could get killed.
Police kill drug users here.
So what should I do?
Haiku #57695, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 1:49 am ET

I need some hard drugs.
My wife said she would leave me
if I start with drugs.
Haiku #57694, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 1:48 am ET

Not a bad idea!
But what will I serve for drinks?
Pina Colada?
Haiku #57693, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 1:46 am ET

Remove seat from bike
Replace with it with a bar stool
Hipster super cool
Haiku #57692, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2017 12:53 am ET

I'll ride my bike all
day long to the point of
exhaustion or death.

But I hate that feeling of the pointy bike seat feeling like its going up your ass like you've fallen drunkenly asleep at a frat party and some drunk "Eata Pumpkin Pie" has had too much X and discovered that he has homosexual tendencies after his "girlfriend" went home with some football player and can you blame her. Fucking bike seats.
Haiku #57691, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2017 8:27 pm ET

Erectify Cheer.
Bono boner bonbon hump.
Help me, Lord Satan!
Haiku #57690, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2017 8:21 pm ET

In the depths of mind,
one cannot truly see life
from faults of the past
Haiku #57689, by Liv of Puerto Rico
November 26, 2017 5:39 pm ET

once vibrant storefronts
give way to for sale or rent
signs and tattered paint
Haiku #57688, by vhs
November 26, 2017 1:20 pm ET

"The sphinx's sphincter
made quite an uncommon toot,"
said Tutankhamun.
Haiku #57687, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2017 5:04 am ET

Penile implant.
Nile crocodile Lyle.
Ate Neffer-titty.

It is not normal.
Uncommon Tutankhamun.
He smoked too much hash.
Haiku #57686, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2017 9:50 pm ET

people make choices
and we may not agree but
we will miss y'all
Haiku #57685, by vhs
November 25, 2017 10:49 am ET

hmm i understand
words better if you don't mind
guys will be guys though
Haiku #57684, by vhs
November 24, 2017 12:16 pm ET

The meaning of life
One's life can have a meaning
I don't know how to quantify that
Haiku #57683, by dvd of took high school algebra 3 times and didn't pass until grumpy mr wright was my algebra teacher
November 24, 2017 1:25 am ET

The meaning of life
Is it a variable
In the equation ?
Haiku #57682, by You boys suck at math of Arabs invented your numbers
November 24, 2017 12:04 am ET

if it were a bad
haiku on thanksgiving it
would be a turkey

so stuff it as you will
and cover it with gravy
Haiku #57681, by vhs
November 23, 2017 3:56 pm ET

happy thanksgiving
forty two is the answer
what is the question?
Haiku #57680, by vhs
November 22, 2017 6:26 pm ET

Happy Thanksgiving.
Eat lots of sweet potato,
turkey and gravy.
Haiku #57679, by Darth Figpucker
November 22, 2017 1:19 am ET

difference is that
I'd end up marrying one
of the green girls there

don't tell De, he thinks
if the girl is green she gone
past experation
Haiku #57678, by vhs
November 21, 2017 6:08 pm ET

None of the theorems contain an equality. In language they call that an incomplete sentence.
It is believed that as the dimensionality of the Madelung constant is increased that it diverges or approaches infinity. No one has proved this, to my knowledge. It's not as sexy as twin primes or Reimann or why did the chicken cross an arbitrary plane of existence and uniqueness when it could have just as easily stayed home in the roost keeping its eggs warm.
Chickens should be called roosters -- they stay in the roost. Roosters should be called COCKS.
Been a while since I've seen a good cock fight. Sabong. NYSE old days.
Drunk enough, I just might try balot eggs afterwards. Assuming I still have 50 pesos left.
Haiku #57677, by Darth Figpucker
November 21, 2017 2:44 am ET

If vhs was captain of the Enterprise
Instead of James T Kirk
I don't think much would change
Scotty would be as stressed as ever
But most importantly
I know vhs would be seeking out alien Females with the same zeal
All he needs is warp drive capability
Haiku #57676, by dvd
November 20, 2017 11:07 pm ET

(# of herps) / (# of derps) + (# of cigarettes smoked per hour) - (# of tins of bacon flavored chewing tobacco consumed) ^ (angular momentum of chicken tender upon consumption)
Haiku #57675, by dvd
November 20, 2017 10:51 pm ET

(# of burgers) / (# of Sue B impersonations per minute) + (# of degrees cap is askew) - (liberal to conservative ratio) ^ (# of kittens currently in lap)
Haiku #57674, by dvd
November 20, 2017 10:41 pm ET

the old folks try to
set limits on the younger
knowing too well their

time is coming
Haiku #57673, by vhs
November 20, 2017 8:47 pm ET

Marilyn Manson?
I didn't know she was ill.
Tainted Love loved taint.
Haiku #57672, by Anonymous Poet
November 20, 2017 8:13 am ET

mugabe, manson
keep it in the family
is their common theme
Haiku #57671, by ash
November 20, 2017 7:41 am ET