If vhs was captain of the Enterprise
Instead of James T Kirk
I don't think much would change
Scotty would be as stressed as ever
But most importantly
I know vhs would be seeking out alien Females with the same zeal
All he needs is warp drive capability
by dvd
"J-ROD'S NUMBER" THEOREM:
(# of herps) / (# of derps) + (# of cigarettes smoked per hour) - (# of tins of bacon flavored chewing tobacco consumed) ^ (angular momentum of chicken tender upon consumption)
by dvd
"VHS' NUMBER" THEOREM:
(# of burgers) / (# of Sue B impersonations per minute) + (# of degrees cap is askew) - (liberal to conservative ratio) ^ (# of kittens currently in lap)
by dvd
the old folks try to
set limits on the younger
knowing too well their
time is coming
by vhs
Marilyn Manson?
I didn't know she was ill.
Tainted Love loved taint.
by Anonymous Poet
mugabe, manson
keep it in the family
is their common theme
by ash
The witches are false.
They refuse to eat children.
Oh, but they'll drink beer!
by Anonymous Poet
Rather than the death penalty, murderers should be kept on public display, much like at a zoo, where we could pay to speak to them and be entertained. The money made would easily pay for the prison as well as victim compensations. Sadly, we live in a "civilized" society, not a sane one.
by Anonymous Poet
So Manson's near death.
Strangely I do not feel sad.
He brought much laughter.
by Anonymous Poet
I'd like some absinthe.
The real McCoy with wormwood.
For breakfast and lunch.
by Anonymous Poet
Enlightenment calls.
Well, I feel lighter, for sure.
Perhaps it's the prunes.
by Anonymous Poet
Asian grocery.
Aleister Crowley's ice box.
Grandma's thawed freezer.
by Anonymous Poet
Again the word Calle
is part of the captcha code
and I don't like it.
by Anonymous Poet
Sexual assault.
Jim Henson and The Muppets.
Cannibalism.
by Anonymous Poet
The Department of
Interspecies Relations
and Gene Enhancements.
by Anonymous Poet
well Doctor Shark (I)
(like that better than "DF)
Apple Core is all
by vhs
The Doctor is IN.
I would prescribe nelusko.
Or tiramisu.
And cappuccino.
Perhaps then a titty bar.
And imported beer.
Caffeine and sugar.
Then a hard-on and spirits.
What is there to lose.
If you never sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Trust Doc Figpucker.
But seriously,
get out and enjoy yourself.
Don't be a pussy.
by df
blood thickening chill
perhaps the cure is a pill
Or, potato chips
by Anonymous Poet
alternatives, worse
to live these days, is a curse
still, people have hope
by Adorable Kittens
this is one of those
days which makes me question if
living is worth it
by vhs
It's an orgasm
from eating nelusko cake.
(Mocha praline cake.)
Marie Antoinette
said let them eat Nelusko.
So that's what I did.
But it made a mess.
Next time I'll put some napkins
in my underwear.
by df
Go ahead, tell us.
What does your fancy word mean?
Do we want to know?
by Adorable Kittens
Neluskogasm.
That's the new word for the day.
I just made it up.
by df
so, maybe at last
peace has come to zimbabwe
after some delay
by ash
well if i mention
processed foods to you it will
stoke your left leaning
boomer tree hugging
silliness we have all come
to know you for now
even if we ourselves
agree with much of the ethos
less spam, more fish
by vhs
I'm going out now.
Umbrella, hopping puddles.
I love my black drug.
Maybe I'll have cake.
And I just might eat it too.
Because, hey, I can.
by Darth Figpucker is now in search of caffeine in almost any form.
I need a coffee!
Caribou cappuccino.
Yes, that's a real thing.
Caribou milk cap.
Except it's raining right now.
Fucking November.
I wonder if the coffee trees were fertilized by caribou poo.
It's quite possible. And if you've never tried civet cat coffee, then you should. Look it up. It's not bad, but they cage the poor animals and abuse them to get the raw coffee beans, so I won't try it again. And it's way overpriced. Maybe you shouldn't try it.
I just farted. Nothing special.
Crocodile pot pie.
by Anonymous Poet
What's grosser than eating poop?
Eating Spam poop! Spam poop that's been pooped by Spam. Processed pressure cooked inverted pork rectums and grizzle, preserved and canned, force fed to a fat pig (pre-Spam, if you will) for months, eating nothing but Spam, just so you can collect the pre-Spam Spam poo for a poo that's more disgusting to eat than regular poo.
That's for you, vhs, since you seem obsessed w/ Spam lately. I fucking hate processed foods and Spam is the epitome of disgusting. Stroke-inducing artery-clogging garbage. So there you have it.
But it's better than gold in the Philippines! Christ, they'll trade their own children for a case of imported American Spam. And that's no shit.
by Anonymous Poet
It's much more fun to
throw your poop than to eat it.
More so near a fan.
by df
so the snakes eat their
own shit, human catepillar
coprophagia
by vhs
First food grows from poop
It's eaten and turned to poop
Ouroboros: poop
by Atlas Pooped
spam spam, eggs and spam
lobster thermidor with spam
a spam rum cake w/spam
by vhs
Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.
by df of Captain Morgan's nuclear submarine.
with my mind on my
money and my money on my
mind, etc....etc...
by vhs of gin and juice
If I had to choose...
I'd eat bugs before people
But I'm not certain
by Mandingo Ebola of Captcha is "gracias barrio"...hmmm
I missed your birthday!
Oooh, but I love your perfume
Smells like shame and gin.
by Mandingo Ebola of Butt bongos
So has anyone here ever tried stir fried scorpions in Thailand?
Personally I prefer the grasshoppers. They're pretty tasty, but I don't like the legs -- too spiny and you have to chew them up really well so they don't stick in your throat.
The scorpions kind of have an exotic bird liver sort of flavor. I'm not wild about liver, but it was different. Maybe if it had onion or garlic with it.
Didn't care for the beetles or crickets at all.
by df
Jin, Jinn, Djin,.... as long as it's not Gin. I fucking hate gin.
And there's always a bigger prime rib.
--Bubba
by df
no that was Qui Gon
Jin DF...and i need to
fill in five more spots
by vhs
it seems to me we
are in Scorpio so this
shares my sign as well
by vhs
seems louis c.k.
that a bit of a wanker
is only the tip
by ash
We must quote Star Wars.
"There's always a bigger fish".
--Master Quigon Jin
Or maybe that was Euclid.
by df
Graham's number stuck in your head?
Why, was he a fantastic date and you don't want to lose his contact info.
Just "like" him on Farcebook the way everyone else does.
Personally, I have Graham's crackers stuck in my bowels.
I should have bought some prune juice.
Oh, but those crackers didn't get in my bowels by the normal route.
I can see why you don't want to forget his number.
Graham is wild one! He iterated me all night long and could have kept going.
by Darth Figpucker
it never grows up
that's part of the attraction
but it has grown old
congratulations, janice !
who would have though last century that this dinosaur would still roam the interweb ?
by ash
and despite me! or
you know a posessed ladder
walking down a hill!
by vhs
twenty-one years old ?
defying expectations
bad haiku rocks on !
by ash
Graham's number is
stuck in my mind, bigger than
the universe but
not my insecure
but almost infinite bald
head of an ego
by vhs
this room is a sharp
void for now, spreading cheddar
cheese across the globe
by vhs
reaction response
it is the animal in
each man and woman
by vhs
ah cynicism
gives me hope and is quite so
delicious to me
ironic no?
by vhs