BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
16 Days
68939 Haikus
so the snakes eat their
own shit, human catepillar
Haiku #57647, by vhs
November 15, 2017 5:13 pm ET

First food grows from poop
It's eaten and turned to poop
Ouroboros: poop
Haiku #57646, by Atlas Pooped
November 14, 2017 10:36 pm ET

spam spam, eggs and spam
lobster thermidor with spam
a spam rum cake w/spam
Haiku #57645, by vhs
November 14, 2017 8:28 pm ET

Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.
Haiku #57644, by df of Captain Morgan's nuclear submarine.
November 14, 2017 7:49 pm ET

with my mind on my
money and my money on my
mind, etc....etc...
Haiku #57643, by vhs of gin and juice
November 14, 2017 6:41 pm ET

If I had to choose...
I'd eat bugs before people
But I'm not certain
Haiku #57642, by Mandingo Ebola of Captcha is "gracias barrio"...hmmm
November 14, 2017 1:07 am ET

I missed your birthday!
Oooh, but I love your perfume
Smells like shame and gin.
Haiku #57641, by Mandingo Ebola of Butt bongos
November 14, 2017 12:59 am ET

So has anyone here ever tried stir fried scorpions in Thailand?
Personally I prefer the grasshoppers. They're pretty tasty, but I don't like the legs -- too spiny and you have to chew them up really well so they don't stick in your throat.
The scorpions kind of have an exotic bird liver sort of flavor. I'm not wild about liver, but it was different. Maybe if it had onion or garlic with it.
Didn't care for the beetles or crickets at all.
Haiku #57640, by df
November 13, 2017 7:00 pm ET

Jin, Jinn, Djin,.... as long as it's not Gin. I fucking hate gin.

And there's always a bigger prime rib.
Haiku #57639, by df
November 13, 2017 6:56 pm ET

no that was Qui Gon
Jin DF...and i need to
fill in five more spots
Haiku #57638, by vhs
November 13, 2017 6:41 pm ET

it seems to me we
are in Scorpio so this
shares my sign as well
Haiku #57637, by vhs
November 12, 2017 6:30 pm ET

seems louis c.k.
that a bit of a wanker
is only the tip
Haiku #57636, by ash
November 12, 2017 12:31 am ET

We must quote Star Wars.
"There's always a bigger fish".
--Master Quigon Jin

Or maybe that was Euclid.
Haiku #57635, by df
November 11, 2017 10:08 pm ET

Graham's number stuck in your head?
Why, was he a fantastic date and you don't want to lose his contact info.
Just "like" him on Farcebook the way everyone else does.
Personally, I have Graham's crackers stuck in my bowels.
I should have bought some prune juice.
Oh, but those crackers didn't get in my bowels by the normal route.
I can see why you don't want to forget his number.
Graham is wild one! He iterated me all night long and could have kept going.
Haiku #57634, by Darth Figpucker
November 11, 2017 10:05 pm ET

it never grows up
that's part of the attraction
but it has grown old

congratulations, janice !
who would have though last century that this dinosaur would still roam the interweb ?
Haiku #57633, by ash
November 11, 2017 9:20 pm ET

and despite me! or
you know a posessed ladder
walking down a hill!
Haiku #57632, by vhs
November 11, 2017 8:11 pm ET

twenty-one years old ?
defying expectations
bad haiku rocks on !
Haiku #57631, by ash
November 11, 2017 7:13 pm ET

Graham's number is
stuck in my mind, bigger than
the universe but

not my insecure
but almost infinite bald
head of an ego
Haiku #57630, by vhs
November 10, 2017 9:31 pm ET

this room is a sharp
void for now, spreading cheddar
cheese across the globe
Haiku #57629, by vhs
November 10, 2017 9:22 pm ET

reaction response
it is the animal in
each man and woman
Haiku #57628, by vhs
November 10, 2017 12:53 pm ET

ah cynicism
gives me hope and is quite so
delicious to me

ironic no?
Haiku #57627, by vhs
November 9, 2017 8:33 pm ET

Foxtrot boogie waltz
sock-hop tap disco ballet
cheek-to-cheek mosh pit.

Mating ritual.
In the end that's all it is.
Fornicate to death.

But I disagree.
It is not political.
All creatures do it.

The sewage canal
of life is overflowing;
We'll all drown in it.
Haiku #57626, by Anonymous Poet
November 9, 2017 7:48 pm ET

what about the
politics of dancing? the
ooo, feeling good hmm?
Haiku #57625, by vhs
November 9, 2017 6:49 pm ET

But more is bestest
Too much is never enough
Fuck consequences
Haiku #57624, by Concerned American
November 9, 2017 9:05 am ET

A new gnu knew anew a gnu named Noo. It made the news.
Haiku #57623, by Hi-8
November 9, 2017 1:20 am ET

Gaia theory's gay.
I am just being silly.
I know just one thing.

Life on this planet
is headed down the crapper
for the sake of "more".
Haiku #57622, by Darth Figpucker of I wish that God existed so that I could pray to him to allow me to be more evil.
November 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET

i'd personally
like to take a steam roller
over some of those phones

since somehow i miss
pay phones bookstores et al
hey darth, gaia theory?
Haiku #57621, by vhs
November 6, 2017 7:30 pm ET

Year by year I watch.
I see the oceans dying.
Little by little.

Men worship their phones.
Millions of species are gone.
Weep not for mankind.
Haiku #57620, by Darth Figpucker
November 6, 2017 4:39 am ET

baptisms of fire
god bless you america
take a pew! pew! pew!
Haiku #57619, by ash of not in those states
November 6, 2017 1:55 am ET

a sign of the times
maybe a sign of end times
all conspiracy
Haiku #57618, by Anonymous Poet
November 6, 2017 1:26 am ET

there's times i wish the
news was off for a week but
even i can't shut

it off, watching the
one person go mad and lash
out at innocents...
Haiku #57617, by vhs
November 5, 2017 7:24 pm ET

I cannot say that
I've ever felt innocent,
but lately that I've

been raped by Sony.
Not date rape, a back alley
knife point tragedy.

Or maybe it was
Apple, Samsung, Nokia,
or all together.

That's what it feels like.
I'd kill for the rabbit ears
and just three channels.

Curtis Mathis Three-
in-one TV, radio,
and record player.
Haiku #57616, by blu-ray
November 5, 2017 7:14 am ET

how times are changing
used to be feeling spacey
was more innocent
Haiku #57615, by ash
November 5, 2017 2:47 am ET

I'm not tech savvy.
"Blu-ray", not "Blue-ray". Damn the
marketer's logos.
Haiku #57614, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 11:06 pm ET

The age-old adage.
Do not barrage a cabbage
with verbiage in a

carriage needing a
garage or you might get a
lap full of kim-chi.
Haiku #57613, by blue ray
November 4, 2017 11:03 pm ET

Paul Reuben sandwich.
Today's secret word is "stoned".
I've got the munchies.

And I'm NOT sorry!
Hamburger Cheech & Chong scene.
I want to get high...

so high.
Haiku #57612, by blue ray
November 4, 2017 9:30 pm ET

don't be too you know
saurkraut about things, we
always have the hams
Haiku #57611, by vhs
November 4, 2017 9:06 pm ET

Atrocious verbiage.
Doing unspeakable acts
with an old cabbage.
Haiku #57610, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 4:46 pm ET

having flipped a few
birds in my time to fly off
the handle...stranger

we walk on the same
road and regrets and joys bound
merge as one someday
Haiku #57609, by vhs
November 4, 2017 12:20 pm ET

i've done that a few
times, those damn oyster knives
are damn dangerous

shuck and go, bites lips
get well old friend
Haiku #57608, by vhs
November 4, 2017 12:17 pm ET

driving down the road
flip the bird to a stranger
regret it later
Haiku #57607, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 3:13 am ET

Yes, we all suffer
That itself, makes you tougher
Sucks to live that way
Haiku #57606, by Adorable Kittens
November 4, 2017 1:11 am ET

Insert knife in arm
I can guarantee
You all had a better day than I did
Haiku #57605, by dvd of pen bay pharmacy waiting for my antibiotics
November 3, 2017 8:52 pm ET

had to deal with those
negative thingies me I
got a religion

faith bug that helps that
people find their "center" the
shit moods come and go

yes it can be a
damn fight to deal with that Mark
Inside, hard to beat
Haiku #57604, by vhs
November 3, 2017 11:06 am ET

My anxiety
It is literally killing
Combat the dark force
Haiku #57603, by Shirley Smothers
November 2, 2017 9:30 pm ET

well having gone to
college close to the border
of canada

the 18 vs 21
drinking age thing was a bit
of a scandal there
Haiku #57602, by vhs
November 2, 2017 7:49 pm ET

already legal
it's a canadian site
not american
Haiku #57601, by ash
November 2, 2017 8:06 am ET

This site will soon be
old enough to legally
drink alcohol -- YAY!
Haiku #57600, by df
November 1, 2017 11:01 pm ET

Although disgusting,
it's better to poop YOUR pants
than someone else's.
Haiku #57599, by Darth Figpucker's words of wisdom ... or something.
November 1, 2017 10:51 pm ET

I think i just want
to hide in my VHS
and uhm just rewind
Haiku #57598, by vhs
November 1, 2017 9:02 pm ET