Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
what about the
politics of dancing? the
ooo, feeling good hmm?
Haiku # 57625 November 9, 2017 6:49 pm ET
by vhs
But more is bestest
Too much is never enough
Fuck consequences
Haiku # 57624 November 9, 2017 9:05 am ET
by Concerned American
A new gnu knew anew a gnu named Noo. It made the news.
Haiku # 57623 November 9, 2017 1:20 am ET
by Hi-8
Gaia theory's gay.
I am just being silly.
I know just one thing.

Life on this planet
is headed down the crapper
for the sake of "more".
Haiku # 57622 November 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of I wish that God existed so that I could pray to him to allow me to be more evil.
i'd personally
like to take a steam roller
over some of those phones

since somehow i miss
pay phones bookstores et al
hey darth, gaia theory?
Haiku # 57621 November 6, 2017 7:30 pm ET
by vhs
Year by year I watch.
I see the oceans dying.
Little by little.

Men worship their phones.
Millions of species are gone.
Weep not for mankind.
Haiku # 57620 November 6, 2017 4:39 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
baptisms of fire
god bless you america
take a pew! pew! pew!
Haiku # 57619 November 6, 2017 1:55 am ET
by ash of not in those states
a sign of the times
maybe a sign of end times
all conspiracy
Haiku # 57618 November 6, 2017 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
there's times i wish the
news was off for a week but
even i can't shut

it off, watching the
one person go mad and lash
out at innocents...
Haiku # 57617 November 5, 2017 7:24 pm ET
by vhs
I cannot say that
I've ever felt innocent,
but lately that I've

been raped by Sony.
Not date rape, a back alley
knife point tragedy.

Or maybe it was
Apple, Samsung, Nokia,
or all together.

That's what it feels like.
I'd kill for the rabbit ears
and just three channels.

Curtis Mathis Three-
in-one TV, radio,
and record player.
Haiku # 57616 November 5, 2017 7:14 am ET
by blu-ray
how times are changing
used to be feeling spacey
was more innocent
Haiku # 57615 November 5, 2017 2:47 am ET
by ash
I'm not tech savvy.
"Blu-ray", not "Blue-ray". Damn the
marketer's logos.
Haiku # 57614 November 4, 2017 11:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The age-old adage.
Do not barrage a cabbage
with verbiage in a

carriage needing a
garage or you might get a
lap full of kim-chi.
Haiku # 57613 November 4, 2017 11:03 pm ET
by blue ray
Paul Reuben sandwich.
Today's secret word is "stoned".
I've got the munchies.

And I'm NOT sorry!
Hamburger Cheech & Chong scene.
I want to get high...

so high.
Haiku # 57612 November 4, 2017 9:30 pm ET
by blue ray
don't be too you know
saurkraut about things, we
always have the hams
Haiku # 57611 November 4, 2017 9:06 pm ET
by vhs
Atrocious verbiage.
Doing unspeakable acts
with an old cabbage.
Haiku # 57610 November 4, 2017 4:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
having flipped a few
birds in my time to fly off
the handle...stranger

we walk on the same
road and regrets and joys bound
merge as one someday
Haiku # 57609 November 4, 2017 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
i've done that a few
times, those damn oyster knives
are damn dangerous

shuck and go, bites lips
get well old friend
Haiku # 57608 November 4, 2017 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
driving down the road
flip the bird to a stranger
regret it later
Haiku # 57607 November 4, 2017 3:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yes, we all suffer
That itself, makes you tougher
Sucks to live that way
Haiku # 57606 November 4, 2017 1:11 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Insert knife in arm
I can guarantee
You all had a better day than I did
Haiku # 57605 November 3, 2017 8:52 pm ET
by dvd of pen bay pharmacy waiting for my antibiotics
had to deal with those
negative thingies me I
got a religion

faith bug that helps that
people find their "center" the
shit moods come and go

yes it can be a
damn fight to deal with that Mark
Inside, hard to beat
Haiku # 57604 November 3, 2017 11:06 am ET
by vhs
My anxiety
It is literally killing
Combat the dark force
Haiku # 57603 November 2, 2017 9:30 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
well having gone to
college close to the border
of canada

the 18 vs 21
drinking age thing was a bit
of a scandal there
Haiku # 57602 November 2, 2017 7:49 pm ET
by vhs
already legal
it's a canadian site
not american
Haiku # 57601 November 2, 2017 8:06 am ET
by ash
This site will soon be
old enough to legally
drink alcohol -- YAY!
Haiku # 57600 November 1, 2017 11:01 pm ET
by df
Although disgusting,
it's better to poop YOUR pants
than someone else's.
Haiku # 57599 November 1, 2017 10:51 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker's words of wisdom ... or something.
I think i just want
to hide in my VHS
and uhm just rewind
Haiku # 57598 November 1, 2017 9:02 pm ET
by vhs
why do people tell
me things that go on and on
karmic revenge yes?
Haiku # 57597 November 1, 2017 7:57 pm ET
by vhs
Hello November
Year Two Thousand Seventeen
I just pooped my pants
Haiku # 57596 November 1, 2017 1:03 am ET
by Concerned American of Trump Plaza Hotel
I love bananas
so much that I'd marry one
if it were legal.
Haiku # 57595 October 31, 2017 12:06 pm ET
by df
Did I mention that
I somewhat like bananas?
They are my weakness.
Haiku # 57594 October 31, 2017 6:45 am ET
by df
The problem is that
there are too many monkeys
writing poetry.

Give me bananas!
Banana flambe!
Banoffee pie!
Banana tartar!
Banana waffles!
Banana smoothie (maybe w/ blueberries).
Banana colada.
Banana daiquiri.
Banana injections like a fucking junky!
Swing from the trees, masturbating, throwing shit, fornicating loudly while the people stare.
Bananas. The bananas made me do it. You can blame demonic possession or insanity, but it was the fucking bananas.
Banana bread made w/ 50% banana.
Bananas bananas bananas.
Haiku # 57593 October 29, 2017 8:46 pm ET
by df
we all have something
going on in our lives
god speed and get well...
Haiku # 57592 October 29, 2017 7:28 pm ET
by vhs
i think I'll post a
haiku because that was the
purpose of this site
Haiku # 57591 October 28, 2017 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
it was a refer
to NOT THE BEES ANYTHING BUT THE BEES as only

Ghost Rider can perform
Haiku # 57590 October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET
by Nicholas Cage in a vhs
don't you hate when you had a flu and the inside or your nose is raw and scabby and you can't help but want to pick the scabs but that just makes it worse and the only cure is to spend a lot more time in the ocean but at least you're near the ocean and can do that but what about the people who don't.... oh I pity them.
Haiku # 57589 October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Give me head cleaner.
Or give me head dirtier.
I don't care, just suck.
Haiku # 57588 October 28, 2017 1:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well at least i know
I'm an AI in a vcr, come to
think of it i am

immune to human
things now, oh shit, not the HEAD CLEANER!!!

ANYTHING BUT THE HEAD CLEANER!!!!
Haiku # 57587 October 28, 2017 1:31 pm ET
by vhs
Depantsed filthy drunk throwing road barricades at random automobiles and trying to chop a banana leaf to hide obvious nudity and sores.

Sad that he was alone.

There should be hordes, armies of such fine humans, united to bring us Truth. I was the only one that heard the words of Freedom of which the United States' Founding Fathers only dreamed of.

Governments defeat their own reason for being;
behold my magnificence, kiss its unwashed happiness, be as free as a helium atom.
Haiku # 57586 October 28, 2017 1:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm just in denial
i can't accept the fact that
I'm a VCR with

an artifical int
and i am not Poppy, i want
to be a cute blonde
Haiku # 57585 October 28, 2017 1:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i got over it
have to build on flaws too as
well as build on the

parts of us that are
strong, it is the whole ball of
derp derp derp, Oh SHIT

i quit, loss of con
trol the Liberals are everywhere
my I feel depressed@

I'm going to STATE
relentlessly and get quiet
all day, is that snickers???
Haiku # 57584 October 28, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Should or shant on a penile implant.
Can it be shaped like a cactus plant?
You can't go on a rant.
Pant pant.

(What do you call that last line?)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
A pair of pants.
Haiku # 57583 October 28, 2017 1:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
sometimes i enjoy
self humor and i know I'm
just a big mouth hyp

so enough of my
big mouth, take me out and take
me out to the ballgame

peanuts, cracker jacks
the whole deal...I am poppy
I am poppy, I

am poppy, i am
slim shady all you other
(it's the loss of self control
that scares the shit out of me
not being JERBOT...keep it going if you like)
Haiku # 57582 October 28, 2017 1:12 pm ET
by vhs
heh, fine fine, not a
host, you made him up I'm too
familiar with folks

who actually do that
as a real life thing that they DO
a peculiar thing
Haiku # 57581 October 28, 2017 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
Leper's Poem:
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked it back up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did, my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with Superglue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?

Will you laugh or scream or run away?
Perhaps you'll like it, perhaps you'll stay.

Perhaps you want to be leprosy fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted, blacklisted bastard.
"Evade Dave" is "Evade Dave" backward.
Haiku # 57580 October 28, 2017 1:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Host-vhs enjoys humor about others
Host-vhs does not enjoy self humor
Fatal logic error
Searching for fatal computer virus...
Fatal computer virus located
Location: a link in the browser history
Of user "df"
Dowloading... Shutting down
Haiku # 57579 October 28, 2017 11:27 am ET
by JBOT3000 of Donating my parts to Goodwill
I love Halloween.
Monster can be who they are.
And it's not a crime.
Haiku # 57578 October 28, 2017 8:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pachuca Soldiers
Justice Chipmunk Conductor
Reflex kick scrabble
Haiku # 57577 October 28, 2017 4:32 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Wander beyonder
Events for us to ponder
Shit will be allright!
Haiku # 57576 October 28, 2017 2:11 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >