Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 340 Days and 72806 Haikus later...

But more is bestest
Too much is never enough
Fuck consequences
Haiku # 57624, November 9, 2017 9:05 am ET
by Concerned American
A new gnu knew anew a gnu named Noo. It made the news.
Haiku # 57623, November 9, 2017 1:20 am ET
by Hi-8
Gaia theory's gay.
I am just being silly.
I know just one thing.

Life on this planet
is headed down the crapper
for the sake of "more".
Haiku # 57622, November 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of I wish that God existed so that I could pray to him to allow me to be more evil.
i'd personally
like to take a steam roller
over some of those phones

since somehow i miss
pay phones bookstores et al
hey darth, gaia theory?
Haiku # 57621, November 6, 2017 7:30 pm ET
by vhs
Year by year I watch.
I see the oceans dying.
Little by little.

Men worship their phones.
Millions of species are gone.
Weep not for mankind.
Haiku # 57620, November 6, 2017 4:39 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
baptisms of fire
god bless you america
take a pew! pew! pew!
Haiku # 57619, November 6, 2017 1:55 am ET
by ash of not in those states
a sign of the times
maybe a sign of end times
all conspiracy
Haiku # 57618, November 6, 2017 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
there's times i wish the
news was off for a week but
even i can't shut

it off, watching the
one person go mad and lash
out at innocents...
Haiku # 57617, November 5, 2017 7:24 pm ET
by vhs
I cannot say that
I've ever felt innocent,
but lately that I've

been raped by Sony.
Not date rape, a back alley
knife point tragedy.

Or maybe it was
Apple, Samsung, Nokia,
or all together.

That's what it feels like.
I'd kill for the rabbit ears
and just three channels.

Curtis Mathis Three-
in-one TV, radio,
and record player.
Haiku # 57616, November 5, 2017 7:14 am ET
by blu-ray
how times are changing
used to be feeling spacey
was more innocent
Haiku # 57615, November 5, 2017 2:47 am ET
by ash
I'm not tech savvy.
"Blu-ray", not "Blue-ray". Damn the
marketer's logos.
Haiku # 57614, November 4, 2017 11:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The age-old adage.
Do not barrage a cabbage
with verbiage in a

carriage needing a
garage or you might get a
lap full of kim-chi.
Haiku # 57613, November 4, 2017 11:03 pm ET
by blue ray
Paul Reuben sandwich.
Today's secret word is "stoned".
I've got the munchies.

And I'm NOT sorry!
Hamburger Cheech & Chong scene.
I want to get high...

so high.
Haiku # 57612, November 4, 2017 9:30 pm ET
by blue ray
don't be too you know
saurkraut about things, we
always have the hams
Haiku # 57611, November 4, 2017 9:06 pm ET
by vhs
Atrocious verbiage.
Doing unspeakable acts
with an old cabbage.
Haiku # 57610, November 4, 2017 4:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
having flipped a few
birds in my time to fly off
the handle...stranger

we walk on the same
road and regrets and joys bound
merge as one someday
Haiku # 57609, November 4, 2017 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
i've done that a few
times, those damn oyster knives
are damn dangerous

shuck and go, bites lips
get well old friend
Haiku # 57608, November 4, 2017 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
driving down the road
flip the bird to a stranger
regret it later
Haiku # 57607, November 4, 2017 3:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yes, we all suffer
That itself, makes you tougher
Sucks to live that way
Haiku # 57606, November 4, 2017 1:11 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Insert knife in arm
I can guarantee
You all had a better day than I did
Haiku # 57605, November 3, 2017 8:52 pm ET
by dvd of pen bay pharmacy waiting for my antibiotics
had to deal with those
negative thingies me I
got a religion

faith bug that helps that
people find their "center" the
shit moods come and go

yes it can be a
damn fight to deal with that Mark
Inside, hard to beat
Haiku # 57604, November 3, 2017 11:06 am ET
by vhs
My anxiety
It is literally killing
Combat the dark force
Haiku # 57603, November 2, 2017 9:30 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
well having gone to
college close to the border
of canada

the 18 vs 21
drinking age thing was a bit
of a scandal there
Haiku # 57602, November 2, 2017 7:49 pm ET
by vhs
already legal
it's a canadian site
not american
Haiku # 57601, November 2, 2017 8:06 am ET
by ash
This site will soon be
old enough to legally
drink alcohol -- YAY!
Haiku # 57600, November 1, 2017 11:01 pm ET
by df
Although disgusting,
it's better to poop YOUR pants
than someone else's.
Haiku # 57599, November 1, 2017 10:51 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker's words of wisdom ... or something.
I think i just want
to hide in my VHS
and uhm just rewind
Haiku # 57598, November 1, 2017 9:02 pm ET
by vhs
why do people tell
me things that go on and on
karmic revenge yes?
Haiku # 57597, November 1, 2017 7:57 pm ET
by vhs
Hello November
Year Two Thousand Seventeen
I just pooped my pants
Haiku # 57596, November 1, 2017 1:03 am ET
by Concerned American of Trump Plaza Hotel
I love bananas
so much that I'd marry one
if it were legal.
Haiku # 57595, October 31, 2017 12:06 pm ET
by df
Did I mention that
I somewhat like bananas?
They are my weakness.
Haiku # 57594, October 31, 2017 6:45 am ET
by df
The problem is that
there are too many monkeys
writing poetry.

Give me bananas!
Banana flambe!
Banoffee pie!
Banana tartar!
Banana waffles!
Banana smoothie (maybe w/ blueberries).
Banana colada.
Banana daiquiri.
Banana injections like a fucking junky!
Swing from the trees, masturbating, throwing shit, fornicating loudly while the people stare.
Bananas. The bananas made me do it. You can blame demonic possession or insanity, but it was the fucking bananas.
Banana bread made w/ 50% banana.
Bananas bananas bananas.
Haiku # 57593, October 29, 2017 8:46 pm ET
by df
we all have something
going on in our lives
god speed and get well...
Haiku # 57592, October 29, 2017 7:28 pm ET
by vhs
i think I'll post a
haiku because that was the
purpose of this site
Haiku # 57591, October 28, 2017 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
it was a refer

Ghost Rider can perform
Haiku # 57590, October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET
by Nicholas Cage in a vhs
don't you hate when you had a flu and the inside or your nose is raw and scabby and you can't help but want to pick the scabs but that just makes it worse and the only cure is to spend a lot more time in the ocean but at least you're near the ocean and can do that but what about the people who don't.... oh I pity them.
Haiku # 57589, October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Give me head cleaner.
Or give me head dirtier.
I don't care, just suck.
Haiku # 57588, October 28, 2017 1:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well at least i know
I'm an AI in a vcr, come to
think of it i am

immune to human
things now, oh shit, not the HEAD CLEANER!!!

Haiku # 57587, October 28, 2017 1:31 pm ET
by vhs
Depantsed filthy drunk throwing road barricades at random automobiles and trying to chop a banana leaf to hide obvious nudity and sores.

Sad that he was alone.

There should be hordes, armies of such fine humans, united to bring us Truth. I was the only one that heard the words of Freedom of which the United States' Founding Fathers only dreamed of.

Governments defeat their own reason for being;
behold my magnificence, kiss its unwashed happiness, be as free as a helium atom.
Haiku # 57586, October 28, 2017 1:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm just in denial
i can't accept the fact that
I'm a VCR with

an artifical int
and i am not Poppy, i want
to be a cute blonde
Haiku # 57585, October 28, 2017 1:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i got over it
have to build on flaws too as
well as build on the

parts of us that are
strong, it is the whole ball of
derp derp derp, Oh SHIT

i quit, loss of con
trol the Liberals are everywhere
my I feel depressed@

I'm going to STATE
relentlessly and get quiet
all day, is that snickers???
Haiku # 57584, October 28, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Should or shant on a penile implant.
Can it be shaped like a cactus plant?
You can't go on a rant.
Pant pant.

(What do you call that last line?)
A pair of pants.
Haiku # 57583, October 28, 2017 1:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
sometimes i enjoy
self humor and i know I'm
just a big mouth hyp

so enough of my
big mouth, take me out and take
me out to the ballgame

peanuts, cracker jacks
the whole deal...I am poppy
I am poppy, I

am poppy, i am
slim shady all you other
(it's the loss of self control
that scares the shit out of me
not being JERBOT...keep it going if you like)
Haiku # 57582, October 28, 2017 1:12 pm ET
by vhs
heh, fine fine, not a
host, you made him up I'm too
familiar with folks

who actually do that
as a real life thing that they DO
a peculiar thing
Haiku # 57581, October 28, 2017 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
Leper's Poem:
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked it back up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did, my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with Superglue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?

Will you laugh or scream or run away?
Perhaps you'll like it, perhaps you'll stay.

Perhaps you want to be leprosy fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted, blacklisted bastard.
"Evade Dave" is "Evade Dave" backward.
Haiku # 57580, October 28, 2017 1:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Host-vhs enjoys humor about others
Host-vhs does not enjoy self humor
Fatal logic error
Searching for fatal computer virus...
Fatal computer virus located
Location: a link in the browser history
Of user "df"
Dowloading... Shutting down
Haiku # 57579, October 28, 2017 11:27 am ET
by JBOT3000 of Donating my parts to Goodwill
I love Halloween.
Monster can be who they are.
And it's not a crime.
Haiku # 57578, October 28, 2017 8:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pachuca Soldiers
Justice Chipmunk Conductor
Reflex kick scrabble
Haiku # 57577, October 28, 2017 4:32 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Wander beyonder
Events for us to ponder
Shit will be allright!
Haiku # 57576, October 28, 2017 2:11 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
it may be the road
where i belong, the Christ did
wander near and far
Haiku # 57575, October 28, 2017 1:52 am ET
by vhs
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