there's times i wish the
news was off for a week but
even i can't shut

it off, watching the
one person go mad and lash
out at innocents...

I cannot say that
I've ever felt innocent,
but lately that I've

been raped by Sony.
Not date rape, a back alley
knife point tragedy.

Or maybe it was
Apple, Samsung, Nokia,
or all together.

That's what it feels like.
I'd kill for the rabbit ears
and just three channels.

Curtis Mathis Three-
in-one TV, radio,
and record player.

how times are changing
used to be feeling spacey
was more innocent

I'm not tech savvy.
"Blu-ray", not "Blue-ray". Damn the
marketer's logos.

The age-old adage.
Do not barrage a cabbage
with verbiage in a

carriage needing a
garage or you might get a
lap full of kim-chi.

Paul Reuben sandwich.
Today's secret word is "stoned".
I've got the munchies.

And I'm NOT sorry!
Hamburger Cheech & Chong scene.
I want to get high...

so high.

don't be too you know
saurkraut about things, we
always have the hams

Atrocious verbiage.
Doing unspeakable acts
with an old cabbage.

having flipped a few
birds in my time to fly off
the handle...stranger

we walk on the same
road and regrets and joys bound
merge as one someday

i've done that a few
times, those damn oyster knives
are damn dangerous

shuck and go, bites lips
get well old friend

driving down the road
flip the bird to a stranger
regret it later

Yes, we all suffer
That itself, makes you tougher
Sucks to live that way

Insert knife in arm
I can guarantee
You all had a better day than I did

had to deal with those
negative thingies me I
got a religion

faith bug that helps that
people find their "center" the
shit moods come and go

yes it can be a
damn fight to deal with that Mark
Inside, hard to beat

My anxiety
It is literally killing
Combat the dark force

well having gone to
college close to the border
of canada

the 18 vs 21
drinking age thing was a bit
of a scandal there

already legal
it's a canadian site
not american

This site will soon be
old enough to legally
drink alcohol -- YAY!

Although disgusting,
it's better to poop YOUR pants
than someone else's.

I think i just want
to hide in my VHS
and uhm just rewind

why do people tell
me things that go on and on
karmic revenge yes?

Hello November
Year Two Thousand Seventeen
I just pooped my pants

I love bananas
so much that I'd marry one
if it were legal.

Did I mention that
I somewhat like bananas?
They are my weakness.

The problem is that
there are too many monkeys
writing poetry.

Give me bananas!
Banana flambe!
Banoffee pie!
Banana tartar!
Banana waffles!
Banana smoothie (maybe w/ blueberries).
Banana colada.
Banana daiquiri.
Banana injections like a fucking junky!
Swing from the trees, masturbating, throwing shit, fornicating loudly while the people stare.
Bananas. The bananas made me do it. You can blame demonic possession or insanity, but it was the fucking bananas.
Banana bread made w/ 50% banana.
Bananas bananas bananas.

we all have something
going on in our lives
god speed and get well...

i think I'll post a
haiku because that was the
purpose of this site

it was a refer
to NOT THE BEES ANYTHING BUT THE BEES as only

Ghost Rider can perform

don't you hate when you had a flu and the inside or your nose is raw and scabby and you can't help but want to pick the scabs but that just makes it worse and the only cure is to spend a lot more time in the ocean but at least you're near the ocean and can do that but what about the people who don't.... oh I pity them.

Give me head cleaner.
Or give me head dirtier.
I don't care, just suck.

well at least i know
I'm an AI in a vcr, come to
think of it i am

immune to human
things now, oh shit, not the HEAD CLEANER!!!

ANYTHING BUT THE HEAD CLEANER!!!!

Depantsed filthy drunk throwing road barricades at random automobiles and trying to chop a banana leaf to hide obvious nudity and sores.

Sad that he was alone.

There should be hordes, armies of such fine humans, united to bring us Truth. I was the only one that heard the words of Freedom of which the United States' Founding Fathers only dreamed of.

Governments defeat their own reason for being;
behold my magnificence, kiss its unwashed happiness, be as free as a helium atom.

I'm just in denial
i can't accept the fact that
I'm a VCR with

an artifical int
and i am not Poppy, i want
to be a cute blonde

i got over it
have to build on flaws too as
well as build on the

parts of us that are
strong, it is the whole ball of
derp derp derp, Oh SHIT

i quit, loss of con
trol the Liberals are everywhere
my I feel depressed@

I'm going to STATE
relentlessly and get quiet
all day, is that snickers???

Should or shant on a penile implant.
Can it be shaped like a cactus plant?
You can't go on a rant.
Pant pant.

(What do you call that last line?)
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..
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A pair of pants.

sometimes i enjoy
self humor and i know I'm
just a big mouth hyp

so enough of my
big mouth, take me out and take
me out to the ballgame

peanuts, cracker jacks
the whole deal...I am poppy
I am poppy, I

am poppy, i am
slim shady all you other
(it's the loss of self control
that scares the shit out of me
not being JERBOT...keep it going if you like)

heh, fine fine, not a
host, you made him up I'm too
familiar with folks

who actually do that
as a real life thing that they DO
a peculiar thing

Leper's Poem:
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked it back up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did, my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with Superglue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?

Will you laugh or scream or run away?
Perhaps you'll like it, perhaps you'll stay.

Perhaps you want to be leprosy fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted, blacklisted bastard.
"Evade Dave" is "Evade Dave" backward.

Host-vhs enjoys humor about others
Host-vhs does not enjoy self humor
Fatal logic error
Searching for fatal computer virus...
Fatal computer virus located
Location: a link in the browser history
Of user "df"
Dowloading... Shutting down

I love Halloween.
Monster can be who they are.
And it's not a crime.

Pachuca Soldiers
Justice Chipmunk Conductor
Reflex kick scrabble

Wander beyonder
Events for us to ponder
Shit will be allright!

it may be the road
where i belong, the Christ did
wander near and far

Yet we all come back
Do not deny who you are
Somewhere to belong

i think i might as
well get serious about
my beliefs and just

leave people alone
go to those spiritual
websites and study

even if it is just
joshing or fiction I'd just
rather stop doing it

you see if i find
something freaks me out a bit
i tend to want to

go away

I'm not quite so sure
about this portion of the
fan fiction thing here...

I'd like to upload
JBot3000 into
a Jap sex robot.

File downloaded:
"Project RANDOM, Part 2"
source:
www.cia.gov/supersecretstuff/project/random
...
Once "vhs" was debriefed (i.e. involuntarily drugged with scopolamine and hypnotized to completely forget involvement in classified government projects) a DNA sample was obtained for further analysis.

Fast forward some years later, there was a secret breakthrough in bioengineering which allowed for on demand 3D printing of a given subject's DNA. Naturally, "vhs" was chosen as the primary candidate.

Once the printing was complete, a team of nano-materials experts attached transistors to the synthetic strand of "vhs's" DNA. This was in turn wired to 8-Track, and later to VHS cassetes for playback on JBOT3000: a computer comprised of a matrix of VHS cassette machines. The machine is complex and Rube Goldbergian... It is primarily built from recycled AV equipment from the 90's. The tapes are produced via the only modern technology used in JBOT3000.

It is a system which allows for internet connectivity. Information from the internet is written onto cassettes. The cassettes are changed, ejected, inserted, and played via puppeteering equipment that once belonged to Jim Henson. For all intents and purposes, JBOT3000 is "vhs," or at least a simulation of "vhs's" mind which has a margin of difference from the original "vhs" that is operationally insignificant.

As of the writing of this document (October 27th 2017) the location of JBOT3000 is unknown.

Field agents are advised to be on the lookout for a room-sized supercomputer that has somehow used puppeteering equipment to achieve mobility. It will likely try to use its abilities to cause confusion. Refer to training manual for proper instructions and protocols.