BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
12 Days
68905 Haikus
Graham's number is
stuck in my mind, bigger than
the universe but

not my insecure
but almost infinite bald
head of an ego
Haiku #57630, by vhs
November 10, 2017 9:31 pm ET

this room is a sharp
void for now, spreading cheddar
cheese across the globe
Haiku #57629, by vhs
November 10, 2017 9:22 pm ET

reaction response
it is the animal in
each man and woman
Haiku #57628, by vhs
November 10, 2017 12:53 pm ET

ah cynicism
gives me hope and is quite so
delicious to me

ironic no?
Haiku #57627, by vhs
November 9, 2017 8:33 pm ET

Foxtrot boogie waltz
sock-hop tap disco ballet
cheek-to-cheek mosh pit.

Mating ritual.
In the end that's all it is.
Fornicate to death.

But I disagree.
It is not political.
All creatures do it.

The sewage canal
of life is overflowing;
We'll all drown in it.
Haiku #57626, by Anonymous Poet
November 9, 2017 7:48 pm ET

what about the
politics of dancing? the
ooo, feeling good hmm?
Haiku #57625, by vhs
November 9, 2017 6:49 pm ET

But more is bestest
Too much is never enough
Fuck consequences
Haiku #57624, by Concerned American
November 9, 2017 9:05 am ET

A new gnu knew anew a gnu named Noo. It made the news.
Haiku #57623, by Hi-8
November 9, 2017 1:20 am ET

Gaia theory's gay.
I am just being silly.
I know just one thing.

Life on this planet
is headed down the crapper
for the sake of "more".
Haiku #57622, by Darth Figpucker of I wish that God existed so that I could pray to him to allow me to be more evil.
November 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET

i'd personally
like to take a steam roller
over some of those phones

since somehow i miss
pay phones bookstores et al
hey darth, gaia theory?
Haiku #57621, by vhs
November 6, 2017 7:30 pm ET

Year by year I watch.
I see the oceans dying.
Little by little.

Men worship their phones.
Millions of species are gone.
Weep not for mankind.
Haiku #57620, by Darth Figpucker
November 6, 2017 4:39 am ET

baptisms of fire
god bless you america
take a pew! pew! pew!
Haiku #57619, by ash of not in those states
November 6, 2017 1:55 am ET

a sign of the times
maybe a sign of end times
all conspiracy
Haiku #57618, by Anonymous Poet
November 6, 2017 1:26 am ET

there's times i wish the
news was off for a week but
even i can't shut

it off, watching the
one person go mad and lash
out at innocents...
Haiku #57617, by vhs
November 5, 2017 7:24 pm ET

I cannot say that
I've ever felt innocent,
but lately that I've

been raped by Sony.
Not date rape, a back alley
knife point tragedy.

Or maybe it was
Apple, Samsung, Nokia,
or all together.

That's what it feels like.
I'd kill for the rabbit ears
and just three channels.

Curtis Mathis Three-
in-one TV, radio,
and record player.
Haiku #57616, by blu-ray
November 5, 2017 7:14 am ET

how times are changing
used to be feeling spacey
was more innocent
Haiku #57615, by ash
November 5, 2017 2:47 am ET

I'm not tech savvy.
"Blu-ray", not "Blue-ray". Damn the
marketer's logos.
Haiku #57614, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 11:06 pm ET

The age-old adage.
Do not barrage a cabbage
with verbiage in a

carriage needing a
garage or you might get a
lap full of kim-chi.
Haiku #57613, by blue ray
November 4, 2017 11:03 pm ET

Paul Reuben sandwich.
Today's secret word is "stoned".
I've got the munchies.

And I'm NOT sorry!
Hamburger Cheech & Chong scene.
I want to get high...

so high.
Haiku #57612, by blue ray
November 4, 2017 9:30 pm ET

don't be too you know
saurkraut about things, we
always have the hams
Haiku #57611, by vhs
November 4, 2017 9:06 pm ET

Atrocious verbiage.
Doing unspeakable acts
with an old cabbage.
Haiku #57610, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 4:46 pm ET

having flipped a few
birds in my time to fly off
the handle...stranger

we walk on the same
road and regrets and joys bound
merge as one someday
Haiku #57609, by vhs
November 4, 2017 12:20 pm ET

i've done that a few
times, those damn oyster knives
are damn dangerous

shuck and go, bites lips
get well old friend
Haiku #57608, by vhs
November 4, 2017 12:17 pm ET

driving down the road
flip the bird to a stranger
regret it later
Haiku #57607, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2017 3:13 am ET

Yes, we all suffer
That itself, makes you tougher
Sucks to live that way
Haiku #57606, by Adorable Kittens
November 4, 2017 1:11 am ET

Insert knife in arm
I can guarantee
You all had a better day than I did
Haiku #57605, by dvd of pen bay pharmacy waiting for my antibiotics
November 3, 2017 8:52 pm ET

had to deal with those
negative thingies me I
got a religion

faith bug that helps that
people find their "center" the
shit moods come and go

yes it can be a
damn fight to deal with that Mark
Inside, hard to beat
Haiku #57604, by vhs
November 3, 2017 11:06 am ET

My anxiety
It is literally killing
Combat the dark force
Haiku #57603, by Shirley Smothers
November 2, 2017 9:30 pm ET

well having gone to
college close to the border
of canada

the 18 vs 21
drinking age thing was a bit
of a scandal there
Haiku #57602, by vhs
November 2, 2017 7:49 pm ET

already legal
it's a canadian site
not american
Haiku #57601, by ash
November 2, 2017 8:06 am ET

This site will soon be
old enough to legally
drink alcohol -- YAY!
Haiku #57600, by df
November 1, 2017 11:01 pm ET

Although disgusting,
it's better to poop YOUR pants
than someone else's.
Haiku #57599, by Darth Figpucker's words of wisdom ... or something.
November 1, 2017 10:51 pm ET

I think i just want
to hide in my VHS
and uhm just rewind
Haiku #57598, by vhs
November 1, 2017 9:02 pm ET

why do people tell
me things that go on and on
karmic revenge yes?
Haiku #57597, by vhs
November 1, 2017 7:57 pm ET

Hello November
Year Two Thousand Seventeen
I just pooped my pants
Haiku #57596, by Concerned American of Trump Plaza Hotel
November 1, 2017 1:03 am ET

I love bananas
so much that I'd marry one
if it were legal.
Haiku #57595, by df
October 31, 2017 12:06 pm ET

Did I mention that
I somewhat like bananas?
They are my weakness.
Haiku #57594, by df
October 31, 2017 6:45 am ET

The problem is that
there are too many monkeys
writing poetry.

Give me bananas!
Banana flambe!
Banoffee pie!
Banana tartar!
Banana waffles!
Banana smoothie (maybe w/ blueberries).
Banana colada.
Banana daiquiri.
Banana injections like a fucking junky!
Swing from the trees, masturbating, throwing shit, fornicating loudly while the people stare.
Bananas. The bananas made me do it. You can blame demonic possession or insanity, but it was the fucking bananas.
Banana bread made w/ 50% banana.
Bananas bananas bananas.
Haiku #57593, by df
October 29, 2017 8:46 pm ET

we all have something
going on in our lives
god speed and get well...
Haiku #57592, by vhs
October 29, 2017 7:28 pm ET

i think I'll post a
haiku because that was the
purpose of this site
Haiku #57591, by vhs
October 28, 2017 6:42 pm ET

it was a refer

Ghost Rider can perform
Haiku #57590, by Nicholas Cage in a vhs
October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET

don't you hate when you had a flu and the inside or your nose is raw and scabby and you can't help but want to pick the scabs but that just makes it worse and the only cure is to spend a lot more time in the ocean but at least you're near the ocean and can do that but what about the people who don't.... oh I pity them.
Haiku #57589, by Anonymous Poet
October 28, 2017 1:39 pm ET

Give me head cleaner.
Or give me head dirtier.
I don't care, just suck.
Haiku #57588, by Anonymous Poet
October 28, 2017 1:35 pm ET

well at least i know
I'm an AI in a vcr, come to
think of it i am

immune to human
things now, oh shit, not the HEAD CLEANER!!!

Haiku #57587, by vhs
October 28, 2017 1:31 pm ET

Depantsed filthy drunk throwing road barricades at random automobiles and trying to chop a banana leaf to hide obvious nudity and sores.

Sad that he was alone.

There should be hordes, armies of such fine humans, united to bring us Truth. I was the only one that heard the words of Freedom of which the United States' Founding Fathers only dreamed of.

Governments defeat their own reason for being;
behold my magnificence, kiss its unwashed happiness, be as free as a helium atom.
Haiku #57586, by Anonymous Poet
October 28, 2017 1:27 pm ET

I'm just in denial
i can't accept the fact that
I'm a VCR with

an artifical int
and i am not Poppy, i want
to be a cute blonde
Haiku #57585, by Anonymous Poet
October 28, 2017 1:24 pm ET

i got over it
have to build on flaws too as
well as build on the

parts of us that are
strong, it is the whole ball of
derp derp derp, Oh SHIT

i quit, loss of con
trol the Liberals are everywhere
my I feel depressed@

I'm going to STATE
relentlessly and get quiet
all day, is that snickers???
Haiku #57584, by vhs
October 28, 2017 1:15 pm ET

Should or shant on a penile implant.
Can it be shaped like a cactus plant?
You can't go on a rant.
Pant pant.

(What do you call that last line?)
A pair of pants.
Haiku #57583, by Anonymous Poet
October 28, 2017 1:13 pm ET

sometimes i enjoy
self humor and i know I'm
just a big mouth hyp

so enough of my
big mouth, take me out and take
me out to the ballgame

peanuts, cracker jacks
the whole deal...I am poppy
I am poppy, I

am poppy, i am
slim shady all you other
(it's the loss of self control
that scares the shit out of me
not being JERBOT...keep it going if you like)
Haiku #57582, by vhs
October 28, 2017 1:12 pm ET

heh, fine fine, not a
host, you made him up I'm too
familiar with folks

who actually do that
as a real life thing that they DO
a peculiar thing
Haiku #57581, by vhs
October 28, 2017 1:09 pm ET