BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
342 Days
68427 Haikus
existential deaths
died when irony fell in
9/11, we thought

Haiku #57757, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2017 10:47 pm ET

loaded with grudges
the elephant in the room
can never forgive
Haiku #57756, by ash
December 9, 2017 8:19 pm ET

my best intentions
can never be good enough
Haiku #57755, by ash
December 9, 2017 8:11 pm ET

my failed compliments
are the red rags to the bull
who sees monochrome
Haiku #57754, by ash
December 9, 2017 7:42 pm ET

hmm german delis
would never be the same once
lsd reubens

hit the market
Haiku #57753, by vhs
December 9, 2017 2:44 pm ET

LSD comes from
rye wheat fungus but I can't
trip on a Reuben.

Weaponized airborne
ergot infections would make
earth a better place.

Mustard gas passe.
Passed the gassy Grey Poupon.
Dijon and Kraut farts.

Psychadelic lunch
corned beef, swiss, kraut, on rye
with yellow cap shrooms.
Haiku #57752, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2017 9:51 am ET

Animals are nice
Sometimes they might have some lice
You can still eat them
Haiku #57751, by Mandingo Ebola of The land where cats rule
December 9, 2017 5:20 am ET

Aww, vhs remember
Things could also be worse
At least you're not DF
Haiku #57750, by Atlas Pooped
December 8, 2017 4:59 pm ET

not much in the mood
today, all the things I'm chasing
are just mirages...
Haiku #57749, by vhs
December 8, 2017 12:33 pm ET

Some farmers down south
Pay good money to hunters
Who kill wild hogs
Haiku #57748, by dvd of profiting from disaster can be kosher
December 8, 2017 2:42 am ET

Six million wild hogs
Destroying America
Eat lots of bacon
Haiku #57747, by Mandingo Ebola of Offering solutions in times of crisis
December 8, 2017 12:44 am ET

Shit just got real here
Anonymous cowards suck
Even I know that
Haiku #57746, by Mandingo Ebola
December 8, 2017 12:39 am ET

depends on what you
smoke, with what and how often
you blow the smoke out
Haiku #57745, by vhs
December 7, 2017 10:57 pm ET

Hold on a second...
I always thought a fag was
Just a cigarette
Haiku #57744, by Confused Englishman of England
December 7, 2017 1:48 am ET

im bisexual
got to love those high skool you,re
a fag routines those

silly people play
must be reminiserizin or
something doncha know
Haiku #57743, by vhs
December 6, 2017 10:48 pm ET

Stinky vaginas
are better than none at all.
Unless you're a fag.
Haiku #57742, by Anonymous Poet
December 6, 2017 8:56 pm ET

yum yum yum you know
how much salt is in old spam
i wont eat the stuff
Haiku #57741, by vhs
December 6, 2017 10:54 am ET

Hooray spam is back
Like rotten maggots feasting
On internet rot
Haiku #57740, by Concerned American
December 6, 2017 1:20 am ET

well censorship of
baby boomers who do not
value human life

great stuff ;)
Haiku #57739, by vhs of damn zombies
December 5, 2017 10:34 am ET

GenF20 Plus consists of both capsules and a liquid form of the supplement. People use both products. The idea behind using the supplement is that it's supposed to stimulate the pituitary gland (in the brain) to release (secrete) growth hormone,
Haiku #57738, by <a href="">genf20 plus</a> of usa
December 5, 2017 5:20 am ET

The butane hash oil I am so fond of
Is, by mass, the same price
As electronics grade gold... I'm poor
But withdrawal from nicotine and
Caffeine make cannabis withdrawal
Laughably easy
My endocannabinoid system will
Fully recover and so will my wallet
Haiku #57737, by dvd
December 4, 2017 10:41 pm ET

But if you love it,
if you love your addiction,
is it all that bad?

Science, music, athletics, cannibalism...
all great stuff!
Haiku #57736, by Anonymous Poet
December 4, 2017 10:27 pm ET

addiction is a
downer, food, internet, games
even vanilla things

the ordinary drag of life
Haiku #57735, by vhs
December 4, 2017 1:52 pm ET

ill try to get some
folks posting if i can but
christmas is coming
Haiku #57734, by vhs
December 3, 2017 11:05 pm ET

Cannabis - panic attacks every time
The weird thing is that truly
I enjoy that so fucking much
Haiku #57733, by dvd of walking a fine line between dependence and addiction
December 3, 2017 9:04 pm ET

vhs got a galaxy tablet
this is not fake news
preparing for apocalypse
Haiku #57732, by dvd of studying the exotic element: "Uuu" aka Devonium
December 3, 2017 2:18 pm ET

that's good my dear sir
that's pretty damn good nice to
see you's me!
Haiku #57731, by vhs
December 3, 2017 2:05 pm ET

I must stay silent
Lest they reveal my own guise
I must stay quiet
Haiku #57730, by Ghsostbusters2
December 3, 2017 2:01 pm ET

i kinda wish there
was an internet free zone
and more pay phones now...
Haiku #57729, by vhs
December 3, 2017 1:25 pm ET

i'd be terrified
to see what DeeTox would put
on here in haiku
Haiku #57728, by vhs
December 3, 2017 12:44 pm ET

i didnt know neutrons
yes of xourse they do theyre for

neutrons pop other
nuclear cherries till bang

dont want that
Haiku #57727, by vhs of on a tablet
December 2, 2017 11:53 pm ET

youre talking to an
old sci fi whore ya Duke see
wormholes, portals, as

tral...btw check yer email soon
Haiku #57726, by Anonymous Poet
December 2, 2017 11:41 pm ET

Before warp capability gotta figure out
Muon catalyzed fusion within
Perdeuterofullerane using harmonic Radiation - problems being how to Survive the ensuing cascade of Neutron radiation and UV light
Until I figure that out you won't be able
To spread your DNA through the galaxy
Haiku #57725, by dvd of sorry, vhs you'll have to wait
December 2, 2017 11:05 pm ET

Happy December!
Last month of a shitty year
Go poop in a bucket
Haiku #57724, by Anonymous Poet
December 1, 2017 9:49 pm ET

well if you can make
a dvd works warp drive
well hmm...ideas, big

brother can go pfft
Haiku #57723, by vhs
December 1, 2017 10:47 am ET

well between people
stuck on following life time
routines good or bad

and me trying to
save the world because i think
im like the Doctor

where's the middle way in that?
Haiku #57722, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 11:17 pm ET

My science boner:
At room temperature
Haiku #57721, by the artist formerly known dvd of the lab, hard at work
November 30, 2017 8:01 pm ET

Also I would like
To have my wisdom teeth removed
Skull cracking headaches
Haiku #57720, by Adam Ben Adam
November 30, 2017 3:09 pm ET

What's on the menu?
The bread and wine and oil
Are made new again
Other than that I think
I'll spend some time on the water
Hopefully make some money
Make new friends and hopefully
Keep the old ones too
Haiku #57719, by Adam Ben Adam
November 30, 2017 3:07 pm ET

John Lennon would have liked to say
There are no problems only solutions
But he got shot and now he's dead
Haiku #57718, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 2:49 pm ET

no we need rockets
to go into space or some

get that greening of america out of yo mind yo boomer boy
Haiku #57717, by vhs
November 30, 2017 11:06 am ET

the irony my
deeply missed friend is what is
next on the menu?
Haiku #57716, by vhs
November 30, 2017 11:05 am ET

P.S. Google Kellyanne Conway and Beavis for a good laugh.
Haiku #57715, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 11:04 am ET

Opioids are not the problem.
War is not the problem.
Who is president is not the problem.
Even environmental destruction is not the problem.
The problem is overpopulation.
All else is symptomatic.

The only solution is a "superbug".
I personally like the idea of an airborne
antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

I tried to make such a bug by
recreational activities,
but all I got was singing balls.

They sing "Poker Face".
I wouldn't mind Jethro Tull
Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

But what do I get?
Balls that sing Lady Gaga.
Karaoke balls.
Haiku #57714, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 11:02 am ET

Also whoever had the idea
To put Kellyanne Conway
In charge of the nation's opioid crisis
Should be fired or at the very least
Be sent to his room without supper
Solution to the opioid crisis:
Legalize ibogaine and have free clinics
Or nothing will change whatsoever
Haiku #57713, by 28 year old 6 year old
November 30, 2017 10:17 am ET

Yes there are people that believe
That the world is flat...
And yet they are allowed
To fucking build rockets
I mean... I'm no more likely to vote
Darth Figpucker for President
Because I still have some love
For humanity, but that is tested daily
Haiku #57712, by 6 year old 28 year old
November 30, 2017 10:05 am ET

I've proudly never
shizzled anyone's nizzle,
whatever that is.
Haiku #57711, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 7:03 am ET

I wish I could sleep.
My testicles won't let me.
They keep on singing.
Haiku #57710, by Anonymous Poet
November 30, 2017 7:01 am ET

Snickerdoodle pie
a la mode caramel drizzle
shizzle my nizzle.
Haiku #57709, by beta vhs dvd blu-ray 4K-ultra poo-berries of media humping platapus
November 30, 2017 6:59 am ET

I think obviously that was done in sick humor only. Perverts don't make perverted jokes about being perverts. Or do they?
"Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent."
And I wouldn't call Ian Anderson a perv for such lyrics, but oh well.
Haiku #57708, by df
November 29, 2017 6:02 pm ET