see all that storming ?
feel the blue planet warming ?
there's rhyme and reason

Industrialization blah blah blah
Mail bombs yada yada yada
Playing my clarinet

If the Unabomber and
Darth Figpucker were cellmates
Would they get along very well?
Never-ending circlejerk

This is not my world the world to come
Is my world
I'm not of this earth

Each squid ward needs his
Spongebob...and each
Satan his Jesus

Vogon... :)

VHS "crazy"?!?!
LOL seriously!
I NEVER said that!

You're the opposite.
Boring beyond all belief.
But that's good for you.

Yes, I'm a psycho.
I tend to hate most people.
And laugh when they're hurt.

But I'm no monster.
Because I love my monsters.
Do you understand?

The reason I hate
is for what I see people
do to each other...

And to my planet.
Yes, it all belongs to me.
You wouldn't get that.

The world's MY oyster.
I would let the oyster live.
It is beautiful.

Others would cook it.
Or make rancid oyster sauce.
All for quick profit.

Hannibal Lecter
really appeals to me;
he eats rude people.

In all seriousness, I would love to see the world population decline by about 99.99% or something manageable. Then I'd be happy. Otherwise I am quite certain that we and this world are not for long. Of course I and mine would be the 0.01% remaining. Politicians and lawyers would go first. Industrialists next. And then poets.

i wonder if i have
no honor or honour are
they both the same

thing and what is honor
or is it honour, semantics
word games what is

original in poetry
was Donald Trump the best
poet we've had on

the campaign trail

words become utter
complete meaningless and turn
to action, Henry

Miller becomes forgotten
people become their own muses
Seinfeld reruns

there comes a point where
one gives up on trying to be
understood and is

just themselves, i don't
like being angry but i think some
people are such egos

or so controlling
or i see it in myself
just let it all hang

out even if it costs
me my freedom, my life or
it makes people drop

the bullshit and say
despite any bad shit that
happened at that

moment, my blood
my honor, my life, my death
was worth the cost

in His name of course
and not like in this prideful
angry unChristian version

of who i am now
but i am flawed but it is
who i am right now

when CLERKS was slammed by
a generation of pharisees that
just didn't get it you

know what it was about????
if your girlfriend gives you
lasagna she is the BEST

and always WILL BE
the best for you, and you owe
her love and a good bottle

of sherry in return

i mean is that you
know really that great poetry
whiny little pout

fests, it's too "ANTIFA"
smashing windows because you
don't feel "safe" because

Milo Yilanopolous wrote
a book that really wasn't that
good anyways hmm?

and learn i AM TRYING
to joke at times, it is "ironic"
do i need to turn

into Marshall Mathers
and do a fuck you rap album
and make you feel like

the shit coming out
of my ass you are willing
to flush yourself down

the toilet and do so
willingly just to get yourself
to stop being the crust

on my fucking ass????

given i have known you
for years "DF" I have come to
the conclusion and

i say this to my
friend you are something of a
psychopath, i am

not sure whether to
admire you or resist you but
if you ever tell

me I'm crazy again
you can keep it to yourself

i already know
for my heart spasms or the
vessels about

they do, i have changed
my life, reluctantly for
i could die too soon

Enlighten the world
of the dangers of processed
foods and additives.

These things cause more death
and health problems than smoking
and illegal drugs.

Hydrogenated
fats are difficult for us
to metabolize.

Hardened arteries,
heart problems, obesity,
and cancer result.

i sit in my chair
looking at the words and think
huh huh...uh, words...huh huh

Malachi 3:10

why not so serious
to a degree and then some
somewhere between

serious and not so serious
seriously we dont have to be
too serious but serious

well Bert and his oatmeal

John 3:16 and all that cal.. my droogs...

"Serious poet" ?!?!
Seriously that got my
alarm bells ringing.

Somehow I doubt that
poems will ever solve world
hunger or stop war.

We're here to have fun.
"bad haiku dot com" so then
WHY SO SERIOUS?!

You are right...you are
A vogon, bad poetry that causes
Torment and torpor

That's OK I like it
I like vogon poetry, we need more
Keep up the bad work

I tried to get a
Serious poet to post here
Looks like it's trolls

Dada ism and jokes
Done on tablets, phones and lap
Tops passing some time

I'm having inappropriate thoughts about Asian high school girls and Fido pot pie, made with Fido and hydroponic pot, baked at 375 F for 45 minutes, and then after another 20 minutes cooling, and another 45 minutes post consumption, then I would be baked and I really wish I could sneak out behind the football storage shed at lunch time and fire one up with a cutie like I never did when I was in high school, Goddamn it all! Drugs should be part of the high school curriculum, then kids wouldn't want to do drugs. Why can't mosquitoes carry HIV? I guess they would have to bite two people, and they usually don't do that, do they? I don't know; I'm not an impregnated female mosquito flown into a smoke ring of marijuana puffed out by a high high school kid. I want to jump on top of a police car in the middle of a race riot and defecate on the roof of his car -- not to make a statement, just to be famous on a YouTube video for a short while. I could blame the drugs, then "get clean", and go on Oprah and she could give me a new car. After which I would go out to the studio parking lot and defecate on its roof. The Vogons have not eaten my brain, I have eaten theirs. Deny it. Go ahead.

If ever my wife learned to read, I think I would quickly be single again. Alas, she only looks at pictures and short texts on Farcebook; a product of the modern age.

I want to start a website called Assbook.com, where people are not allowed to post their true identities, just pictures of their butts and recordings of their farts. No politics, just discussion of which places have the best bathrooms and what style of toilet seat is more comfortable. Also brands of TP might be contemplated and the pros and cons of TP vs. the Far East water bucket method or spray nozzle. I think I prefer the spray nozzle. If you've never tried it, you should. Saves TP, is more effective than the water ladle/bucket method and uses less water. Give it a try some time. Save the planet, and all that good stuff. See, something good did come of all this.

Bye now.

Vogons have eaten
your brain my dear troll friend nuff
said, takes one to know

one, so when we eat
at the Restaurant
at the End of The

Universe?

Oh i know of that
who Candide is The Fool in
the tarot as is

Forest Gump and such
hero fools on the fools journey
Wile E. Coyote

I would highly recommend reading the novella Candide by Voltaire. A highly entertaining comedy about the situation of mankind.

Dogs are too needy.
That is why I prefer cats.
And my blow-up doll.

Goddamn I am bored.
I bet you didn't guess that.
I need to get high.

Anti-Gravity
Propulsion Systems, Inc.
IPO Tuesday.

First voyage Friday.
Three days to pack all your bags.
Return young and rich.

Do your low-hanging
testicles make you more of
a man? Sure they do!

Have you ever masturbated while thinking violent thoughts about the neighbors' noisy wiener dog in the middle of winter with the heat shut off and your so cold that to sleep might mean death and the only thing to eat was a two-week-old half eaten box of nachos from Quick Trip while the neighbors upstairs were listening to Oprah and the neighbors to the left were listening to AC/DC and it was too cold to go to Walmart to pick up some rat poison for the yapping little shit downstairs and your sister-law was coming over dinner in two-and-a-half hours and you didn't have anything in the house to eat meaning you'd have to go out for Mexican food again? Of course you have.

Remember those magnetic gyroscope yo-yo like things that would slide on a short rail and then come back over and over again as long as you keep tilting them the right way? Weren't those awesome when you were stoned out of your gourd? Of course they were.

I do not believe
that I believe anything.
But I could be wrong.

I believe that I
need a strong shot of whiskey
or perhaps some rum.

The universe was
not designed well at all;
I could do better.

Neurogenesis
And harmala alkaloids
Tryptamine buffet

i think you've got a
death wish bro or bought into
that damn mythos those

Peter Singer types
tried to bind into your mind
I'm a "Believer"

I don't believe that at all

The real problem is
overpopulation; mass
murder solution.

Kim Jung Il hero.
Dolphins will evolve and praise
their liberator.

Death to all mankind.
Yadda yadda yadda boom.
Ohm mani padme.

I am surprised Herr
Alex Jones has not blamed cats
For anything for they

Are the true rulers
Of this world

blame global warming
but it's possible dyson
is an evil fiend

nucular weapons
those who have and those who don't
will glow together

Eagles should drive trucks
with big American flags
painted on the hood

Right wing and left wing
I saw an eagle flying
He used both his wings

i don't know but you
do work with me, a full day
is never a dull one

I'm educated
Deep State University
The fruit punch was good

we'll get back to you
after technical difficulties
have been shoved

down the toilet and flushed
with a good dose of Toilet Duck
and the original Mister Clean

amplified with a bit of Polonium 239

Smelly poop finished
Perhaps open the window
For everyones sake

Not one of you has a penis?

Moooooooo.

Feminazi testicular eradication.
Nitrate microbrewery.
Bertha's and Sadie's universal conquest.
Three vaginas for every tongue.
One per middle index and large toe.
That's 7 vaginas per dyke if I did my math correctly.
Only 50 men kept alive at one time in various secret locations throughout the world.
Milked like cattle.
Population normal.
War, pollution, hunger, and disease, all things of ancient history.
This we need.

there may come a time
when i realize all of this
needs to go and i'll

get the sense to get
off my ass and really do
something with my life

I grow weary of
so called "worldly" things so I'll
do what i see fit

for my own path and
my own purposes and so
hurricanes bear down