Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 57 Days and 78011 Haiku later...
there may come a time
when i realize all of this
needs to go and i'll

get the sense to get
off my ass and really do
something with my life
Haiku # 57269 September 5, 2017 7:47 pm ET
by vhs
I grow weary of
so called "worldly" things so I'll
do what i see fit

for my own path and
my own purposes and so
hurricanes bear down
Haiku # 57268 September 5, 2017 7:19 pm ET
by vhs
I want to kill every mosquito on earth by torture.
Psychological torture.
Spray them with Off so that other mosquitoes won't go near them.
Make them commit suicide out of depression.
Haiku # 57267 September 5, 2017 7:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You may open a
bookstore if it has a large
porno selection.
Haiku # 57266 September 5, 2017 7:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
the world is full of
ideas, it is also full
of events and acts
Haiku # 57265 September 5, 2017 6:00 pm ET
by vhs
what if i open
a bookstore??? what if i do that
huh??? what if that happens?

I want to do that
Haiku # 57264 September 5, 2017 5:47 pm ET
by vhs
two old friends debate
with each other their differences
of opinion but

they're both pissed when they
are given the tab, Stefan
Molyneaux, Freedom EH radio

well he IS Canadian
Haiku # 57263 September 5, 2017 5:44 pm ET
by vhs
did i say that my
dear philosopher extraordinaire?
I am not "liberal"

i am "full of shit"
since i am full of shit I
will be great for a

career in Fox "News"
oh shit i told the truth
I'm LIBERTARIAN
Haiku # 57262 September 5, 2017 5:42 pm ET
by vhs the dishmeister
What if
This is why we can't have nice things
Haiku # 57261 September 5, 2017 5:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poodle
What if those who ask
"what if" instantly got a
large dong shoved down their...

{Gag! MWFLF FLB FWLF!}
Haiku # 57260 September 5, 2017 5:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What if Abe Lincoln's
wife owned a large battery
powered pink dildo.
Haiku # 57259 September 5, 2017 5:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What if Abe Lincoln
Had nuclear bombs back in
1862?
Haiku # 57258 September 5, 2017 4:56 pm ET
by dvd
You're conservative in some of
The ways I'm liberal
And I'm conservative in some of
The ways you're liberal
Yep I said it
Vhs is a liberal
(About some things)
Ready your pitchforks and torches
Haiku # 57257 September 5, 2017 4:52 pm ET
by dvd
i had a convo
with a smart man about the
difference between

radicals and those
extremist types, i say i
shall own the things so

i can pass those things
on to others if the need comes
food, water, clothing

the hoarding is a problem, this is why the honorable Salvation Army and the mildly dubious Goodwill exist
Haiku # 57256 September 5, 2017 12:57 pm ET
by vhs
Destroy all you own.
That is what we need to do.
Learn to live without.
Haiku # 57255 September 5, 2017 1:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Is it possible
to buy pure cholesterol
to smoke in a pipe.

Or does smoking it
destroy the clogging effect?
Then I don't want it.
Haiku # 57254 September 5, 2017 1:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The longer you live
The more of them pass along
Inevitable
Haiku # 57253 September 5, 2017 12:58 am ET
by Concerned American
Well it's over now, I'll
drink my big black cow, and
get out of here... rest
in peace Walter Becker
Haiku # 57252 September 4, 2017 7:28 pm ET
by vhs of Steely Dan i shall always know you were Yokohama Three
oh no steely dan
looks like there's no new pleasure
i love you long time
Haiku # 57251 September 4, 2017 8:51 am ET
by ash
some people don't get
the art thing, some folks don't get
the economics

thing, i sort of get
the art thing but am trying
to understand the

economics thing
Haiku # 57250 September 3, 2017 9:06 pm ET
by vhs
why is it some days
when it rains it's just the right
thing to happen and

gives a sense of just
nature doing what it has
to do to get by...?
Haiku # 57249 September 3, 2017 7:10 pm ET
by vhs
Boulder Dash on
the other hand was a game
I believe by Broederbund
about a puzzle game of getting
diamonds whilst avoiding getting
killed by boulders
Haiku # 57248 September 3, 2017 6:59 pm ET
by vhs
Dirty shame and the
Jokes keep Cumming butt you know
Balls were dashed, hoe hoe
Haiku # 57247 September 3, 2017 5:50 pm ET
by Vhs
uhm

alex jones is um
hiring...people to report
the weird combo of

truth and conspiracy theory?
Haiku # 57245 September 1, 2017 7:19 pm ET
by vhs
this is one of those
days where i'm depressed and i'm
glad to be reminded

what it feels like to
hate myself today
Haiku # 57244 September 1, 2017 7:14 pm ET
by vhs
the only mood I'm
in is a malted vanilla
milkshake i had
Haiku # 57243 September 1, 2017 7:13 pm ET
by vhs
Watergate had
Deepthroat
Pizzagate should've had
Deepdish
Haiku # 57242 September 1, 2017 7:05 pm ET
by dvd
Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.
Haiku # 57241 September 1, 2017 1:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Eighty megaton
high grade flatulence warhead;
Eggs, garlic, and beans.

Long bank teller lines.
Shopping mall elevators.
Romantic movies.
Haiku # 57240 September 1, 2017 1:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Craving Armageddon
Went to uranus
to mine for uranium;
found what I needed.
Haiku # 57239 September 1, 2017 1:22 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of weapons of ass destruction
keep it going just
keep the ball a rolling just
keep the world turning
Haiku # 57238 August 31, 2017 7:54 pm ET
by vhs
Travel to Totality

Pawleys Island beach
Hot searing sun gets blocked by
The cool August moon

A sliver of sun
My recalled eclipse glasses
Have done me just fine

Whoohoo I can see!
360 degree sunset
A sight to behold.
Haiku # 57237 August 31, 2017 3:31 pm ET
by Janis of Toronto
For the hipster dictator
Only 100% organic Uranium
Will suffice
Haiku # 57236 August 31, 2017 12:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Paranoiac
Hiding in public.
I want to rip off my face.
And be the real me.

Drive-by poo flinging.
Graffiti the old churches.
Streaking in the malls.

I cannot be me.
Married with 3 little brats.
I wear a false face.

Head down, defeated,
plodding onward like a mule,
follow the carrot.
Haiku # 57235 August 31, 2017 2:57 am ET
by df
on one hand i have
five fingers and on the other
hand i've five too

finger death punch
Haiku # 57234 August 30, 2017 9:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well you know i would
have a serious case of
indigestion if

i gulped down one of
those everlasting gob
stopper candies there

remember those?
Haiku # 57233 August 30, 2017 8:06 pm ET
by vhs
I know what you mean.
I got a nasty surprise.
While on the toilet.

And you surprise me
with eight syllables, not seven.
Shit, I did it too!

The long bathroom line
stretched near to eternity.
Grumbling tummies wait.

When I had finished
my bowels and the hallway were
evacuated.
Haiku # 57232 August 29, 2017 5:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
some things turn out so
unexpected and unwelcome
we still have to sit
Haiku # 57231 August 29, 2017 4:28 pm ET
by vhs
i am sitting in
a chair thinking what my last time
sitting will be like
Haiku # 57230 August 29, 2017 4:25 pm ET
by vhs
Birds chirp, trash rots, lawns
Sale, convenience stores, roads crew
Signs turn..Stop...slow

Roads will Crack again
Walls will mart, amazons..dot con
And tourists tour eto
Haiku # 57229 August 29, 2017 1:21 pm ET
by Vhs
I put my sword back
As I'm told samurai are
Marvelous creatures but

More ornery than
Raccoons,badgers, coyotes but
Bugs bunny? Nahh...what's
Up musashi?..
Haiku # 57228 August 29, 2017 11:17 am ET
by Vhs
when a samurai
draws his sword he can only
put it away once

he has used it in
battle
Haiku # 57227 August 28, 2017 10:55 pm ET
by vhs
the game was the fun
what to do alone in the past
creative process
Haiku # 57226 August 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
born once in this life
perhaps would we come back if
we knew of returns
Haiku # 57225 August 28, 2017 8:45 pm ET
by vhs
the town crier might
say 4 a clock and all is
well, it is quiet

like that here right now
Haiku # 57224 August 27, 2017 6:53 pm ET
by vhs
i hope the symptoms
of the universe is just
a metal album

not the sign of the times
Haiku # 57223 August 26, 2017 6:30 pm ET
by vhs
i'm tired of the
polarized times but i know
they will play out like

they need to burn out
before anything gets done
it is like the sort

of psychic and damn
social hurricane of the
Crisis Period
Haiku # 57222 August 26, 2017 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
i want to write some
thing but i don't know what there's
a get together

and there's this damn storm
down texas way useless prayer
or it seems useless

people i care for
in the middle of this crap
and family here
Haiku # 57221 August 26, 2017 12:37 pm ET
by vhs
Doritoes and Pez.
Powdered blue Pez for snorting.
Urinate smurf blood.
Haiku # 57220 August 26, 2017 9:26 am ET
by df
Feel me deep inside
pushing against your pink heart
adding my own beat.
Haiku # 57219 August 26, 2017 9:22 am ET
by df
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