Watergate had
Deepthroat
Pizzagate should've had
Deepdish

Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.

Eighty megaton
high grade flatulence warhead;
Eggs, garlic, and beans.

Long bank teller lines.
Shopping mall elevators.
Romantic movies.

Went to uranus
to mine for uranium;
found what I needed.

keep it going just
keep the ball a rolling just
keep the world turning

Travel to Totality

Pawleys Island beach
Hot searing sun gets blocked by
The cool August moon

A sliver of sun
My recalled eclipse glasses
Have done me just fine

Whoohoo I can see!
360 degree sunset
A sight to behold.

For the hipster dictator
Only 100% organic Uranium
Will suffice

Hiding in public.
I want to rip off my face.
And be the real me.

Drive-by poo flinging.
Graffiti the old churches.
Streaking in the malls.

I cannot be me.
Married with 3 little brats.
I wear a false face.

Head down, defeated,
plodding onward like a mule,
follow the carrot.

on one hand i have
five fingers and on the other
hand i've five too

finger death punch

well you know i would
have a serious case of
indigestion if

i gulped down one of
those everlasting gob
stopper candies there

remember those?

I know what you mean.
I got a nasty surprise.
While on the toilet.

And you surprise me
with eight syllables, not seven.
Shit, I did it too!

The long bathroom line
stretched near to eternity.
Grumbling tummies wait.

When I had finished
my bowels and the hallway were
evacuated.

some things turn out so
unexpected and unwelcome
we still have to sit

i am sitting in
a chair thinking what my last time
sitting will be like

Birds chirp, trash rots, lawns
Sale, convenience stores, roads crew
Signs turn..Stop...slow

Roads will Crack again
Walls will mart, amazons..dot con
And tourists tour eto

I put my sword back
As I'm told samurai are
Marvelous creatures but

More ornery than
Raccoons,badgers, coyotes but
Bugs bunny? Nahh...what's
Up musashi?..

when a samurai
draws his sword he can only
put it away once

he has used it in
battle

the game was the fun
what to do alone in the past
creative process

born once in this life
perhaps would we come back if
we knew of returns

the town crier might
say 4 a clock and all is
well, it is quiet

like that here right now

i hope the symptoms
of the universe is just
a metal album

not the sign of the times

i'm tired of the
polarized times but i know
they will play out like

they need to burn out
before anything gets done
it is like the sort

of psychic and damn
social hurricane of the
Crisis Period

i want to write some
thing but i don't know what there's
a get together

and there's this damn storm
down texas way useless prayer
or it seems useless

people i care for
in the middle of this crap
and family here

Doritoes and Pez.
Powdered blue Pez for snorting.
Urinate smurf blood.

Feel me deep inside
pushing against your pink heart
adding my own beat.

You gross figpucker!
Kiss us while stabbing our heart
Naughty little boy

I got it! It was Thai person who coined the word Colonel and pronounced in Kernel.
My ex GF told me I should buy something on crealance... I didn't get it. Until I figured out it was clearance. Asians. Well, at least they know what dogs are good for.

He ranked high in the popcorn Mafia.
He was Orville's right hand man.
They called him Colonel Kernel.

Do not fuck chickens.
It's unappreciated.
Ask Colenel Sanders.

And just how the fuck does "colonel" sound like "kernel".... who the fuck came up with that stupid shit??!?!?

what's sick is i know
the names...Styxhexenhammer666
Gary Franchi

The Doctor......of.....common......sen.....sssseee....

Hi Prince of Queens here...
Milo Yilanopolus...
Lauren Southern

Millenial Millie...
Just stop stop!!!! I'll have to
do a show to refute

reality itself!!!

you know if a guy
thinks sandy hook was a false
flag well i suppose

he might blame a screwed
up order at Denny's on the
Deep State which just sounds

like conspiracy stuff
think Texe Marrs, think x files on
crack, think Slenderman

is actually on
the NSA payroll we have
the God damned whole

Illuminatus novels
No, i am horrified by
polarization

utterly completely
Cthulhu has risen

planet vhs
whole planet just vhs
all waiting for him
comes dressed as boba
with gifts for his clone army
given instructions:
destroy liberals...
and listen to alex jones

There's nothing quite like
composing haiku poems
while getting butt banged

by a gnome with erectile dysfunction syndrome

there's nothing worse than
being a whore getting fucked
when the john can't cum

That big wave looks like
millions of little fingers
to pinch my nipples.

Okay then, tell me,
how can I make you happy?
And don't say butt sex.

Exploding head meat.
Devour my brain matter.
Skull shards and mucus.

Them's dangerous hats!
The mesh will not block the sun
You get a burned scalp

well at least no one
is wearing trucker hats with
irony anymore

they're wearing them cuz
they like them and that's the best
reason why to do so

truck driver or not

Aloha Snackbar

Masters of Evil!
UNITE TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!
(Free beer and snack bar.)

Has this ever happened?
Uncircumcised man with braces
AUTOFELLACIO
...
Foreskin stuck in braces
...
...
AUTOCIRCUMCISION

Nope, Oblivious Millenial was me
Sorry to disappoint
Writing that book though

I have a hard-on
for Snarf of the Thundercats
cartoon series but

Skeletor's hot too.

i do know someone
who i work with who i feel
could easily write a

book

we could say this is
a knitted quilt of bad poems
some jokes and i don't

know what else to say
I can't hit rewind, and let's
say when i was young

it was 1979
The Buggles, Video Killed The Radio Star
Who killed the VCR??

winks...obvious poke
from an old friend who knows her
Emerson quite well

Miss you lots

What's a book?

i remember those
old projectors and those slides
and overhead projectors

and even televisions
of a CRT sort carted in on
wheeled carts.

nowadays it is people having to fight the school board for real physical books

Remember back in the day when STDs used to be called VD and after the educational films shown in the 9th grade all the boys in the locker room would laugh and chant "V-D!" like adolescent gorillas?

Sure you do!

there will always be
extremes thinking they are right
just bonking each ide

over the head for all
time till the End finallly
comes thanks to them