Watergate had
Deepthroat
Pizzagate should've had
Deepdish
by dvd
Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.
by Darth Figpucker
Eighty megaton
high grade flatulence warhead;
Eggs, garlic, and beans.
Long bank teller lines.
Shopping mall elevators.
Romantic movies.
by Darth Figpucker of Craving Armageddon
Went to uranus
to mine for uranium;
found what I needed.
by Darth Figpucker of weapons of ass destruction
keep it going just
keep the ball a rolling just
keep the world turning
by vhs
Travel to Totality
Pawleys Island beach
Hot searing sun gets blocked by
The cool August moon
A sliver of sun
My recalled eclipse glasses
Have done me just fine
Whoohoo I can see!
360 degree sunset
A sight to behold.
by Janis of Toronto
For the hipster dictator
Only 100% organic Uranium
Will suffice
by Anonymous Paranoiac
Hiding in public.
I want to rip off my face.
And be the real me.
Drive-by poo flinging.
Graffiti the old churches.
Streaking in the malls.
I cannot be me.
Married with 3 little brats.
I wear a false face.
Head down, defeated,
plodding onward like a mule,
follow the carrot.
by df
on one hand i have
five fingers and on the other
hand i've five too
finger death punch
by Anonymous Poet
well you know i would
have a serious case of
indigestion if
i gulped down one of
those everlasting gob
stopper candies there
remember those?
by vhs
I know what you mean.
I got a nasty surprise.
While on the toilet.
And you surprise me
with eight syllables, not seven.
Shit, I did it too!
The long bathroom line
stretched near to eternity.
Grumbling tummies wait.
When I had finished
my bowels and the hallway were
evacuated.
by Anonymous Poet
some things turn out so
unexpected and unwelcome
we still have to sit
by vhs
i am sitting in
a chair thinking what my last time
sitting will be like
by vhs
Birds chirp, trash rots, lawns
Sale, convenience stores, roads crew
Signs turn..Stop...slow
Roads will Crack again
Walls will mart, amazons..dot con
And tourists tour eto
by Vhs
I put my sword back
As I'm told samurai are
Marvelous creatures but
More ornery than
Raccoons,badgers, coyotes but
Bugs bunny? Nahh...what's
Up musashi?..
by Vhs
when a samurai
draws his sword he can only
put it away once
he has used it in
battle
by vhs
the game was the fun
what to do alone in the past
creative process
by vhs
born once in this life
perhaps would we come back if
we knew of returns
by vhs
the town crier might
say 4 a clock and all is
well, it is quiet
like that here right now
by vhs
i hope the symptoms
of the universe is just
a metal album
not the sign of the times
by vhs
i'm tired of the
polarized times but i know
they will play out like
they need to burn out
before anything gets done
it is like the sort
of psychic and damn
social hurricane of the
Crisis Period
by vhs
i want to write some
thing but i don't know what there's
a get together
and there's this damn storm
down texas way useless prayer
or it seems useless
people i care for
in the middle of this crap
and family here
by vhs
Doritoes and Pez.
Powdered blue Pez for snorting.
Urinate smurf blood.
by df
Feel me deep inside
pushing against your pink heart
adding my own beat.
by df
You gross figpucker!
Kiss us while stabbing our heart
Naughty little boy
by Concerned American
I got it! It was Thai person who coined the word Colonel and pronounced in Kernel.
My ex GF told me I should buy something on crealance... I didn't get it. Until I figured out it was clearance. Asians. Well, at least they know what dogs are good for.
by df
He ranked high in the popcorn Mafia.
He was Orville's right hand man.
They called him Colonel Kernel.
by Franklin Davison of what a boring captcha
Do not fuck chickens.
It's unappreciated.
Ask Colenel Sanders.
And just how the fuck does "colonel" sound like "kernel".... who the fuck came up with that stupid shit??!?!?
by Perdue! of It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken. It take a pervert to make a chicken tender.
what's sick is i know
the names...Styxhexenhammer666
Gary Franchi
The Doctor......of.....common......sen.....sssseee....
Hi Prince of Queens here...
Milo Yilanopolus...
Lauren Southern
Millenial Millie...
Just stop stop!!!! I'll have to
do a show to refute
reality itself!!!
by vhs
you know if a guy
thinks sandy hook was a false
flag well i suppose
he might blame a screwed
up order at Denny's on the
Deep State which just sounds
like conspiracy stuff
think Texe Marrs, think x files on
crack, think Slenderman
is actually on
the NSA payroll we have
the God damned whole
Illuminatus novels
No, i am horrified by
polarization
utterly completely
Cthulhu has risen
by vhs
planet vhs
whole planet just vhs
all waiting for him
comes dressed as boba
with gifts for his clone army
given instructions:
destroy liberals...
and listen to alex jones
by anonymous padawan
There's nothing quite like
composing haiku poems
while getting butt banged
by a gnome with erectile dysfunction syndrome
by Anonymous Poet
there's nothing worse than
being a whore getting fucked
when the john can't cum
by Anonymous Poet
That big wave looks like
millions of little fingers
to pinch my nipples.
by Anonymous Poet
Okay then, tell me,
how can I make you happy?
And don't say butt sex.
by Anonymous Poet
Exploding head meat.
Devour my brain matter.
Skull shards and mucus.
by Darth Figpucker of Manila Brothel trying to forget that I'm a slave just like the girls here.
Them's dangerous hats!
The mesh will not block the sun
You get a burned scalp
by Concerned American
well at least no one
is wearing trucker hats with
irony anymore
they're wearing them cuz
they like them and that's the best
reason why to do so
truck driver or not
by vhs
Aloha Snackbar
by Confused Muslim of Hawaii
Masters of Evil!
UNITE TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!
(Free beer and snack bar.)
by
Has this ever happened?
Uncircumcised man with braces
AUTOFELLACIO
...
Foreskin stuck in braces
...
...
AUTOCIRCUMCISION
by Hasty Bris of Why The Fuck Am I Thinking About This At Midnight I Mean I'm Tired But I Can't Sleep And My Mind Goes Off On Tangents
Nope, Oblivious Millenial was me
Sorry to disappoint
Writing that book though
by dvd
I have a hard-on
for Snarf of the Thundercats
cartoon series but
Skeletor's hot too.
by Very Horny Saturday of morning
i do know someone
who i work with who i feel
could easily write a
book
by vhs
we could say this is
a knitted quilt of bad poems
some jokes and i don't
know what else to say
I can't hit rewind, and let's
say when i was young
it was 1979
The Buggles, Video Killed The Radio Star
Who killed the VCR??
by vhs
winks...obvious poke
from an old friend who knows her
Emerson quite well
Miss you lots
by vhs
What's a book?
by Oblivious Millenial of the mall or whatever kids do these days
i remember those
old projectors and those slides
and overhead projectors
and even televisions
of a CRT sort carted in on
wheeled carts.
nowadays it is people having to fight the school board for real physical books
by vhs
Remember back in the day when STDs used to be called VD and after the educational films shown in the 9th grade all the boys in the locker room would laugh and chant "V-D!" like adolescent gorillas?
Sure you do!
by Anonymous Poet
there will always be
extremes thinking they are right
just bonking each ide
over the head for all
time till the End finallly
comes thanks to them
by vhs