What if those who ask
"what if" instantly got a
large dong shoved down their...

{Gag! MWFLF FLB FWLF!}

What if Abe Lincoln's
wife owned a large battery
powered pink dildo.

What if Abe Lincoln
Had nuclear bombs back in
1862?

You're conservative in some of
The ways I'm liberal
And I'm conservative in some of
The ways you're liberal
Yep I said it
Vhs is a liberal
(About some things)
Ready your pitchforks and torches

i had a convo
with a smart man about the
difference between

radicals and those
extremist types, i say i
shall own the things so

i can pass those things
on to others if the need comes
food, water, clothing

the hoarding is a problem, this is why the honorable Salvation Army and the mildly dubious Goodwill exist

Destroy all you own.
That is what we need to do.
Learn to live without.

Is it possible
to buy pure cholesterol
to smoke in a pipe.

Or does smoking it
destroy the clogging effect?
Then I don't want it.

The longer you live
The more of them pass along
Inevitable

Well it's over now, I'll
drink my big black cow, and
get out of here... rest
in peace Walter Becker

oh no steely dan
looks like there's no new pleasure
i love you long time

some people don't get
the art thing, some folks don't get
the economics

thing, i sort of get
the art thing but am trying
to understand the

economics thing

why is it some days
when it rains it's just the right
thing to happen and

gives a sense of just
nature doing what it has
to do to get by...?

Boulder Dash on
the other hand was a game
I believe by Broederbund
about a puzzle game of getting
diamonds whilst avoiding getting
killed by boulders

Dirty shame and the
Jokes keep Cumming butt you know
Balls were dashed, hoe hoe

uhm

alex jones is um
hiring...people to report
the weird combo of

truth and conspiracy theory?

this is one of those
days where i'm depressed and i'm
glad to be reminded

what it feels like to
hate myself today

the only mood I'm
in is a malted vanilla
milkshake i had

Watergate had
Deepthroat
Pizzagate should've had
Deepdish

Rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum rum rum.
Rum rum rum rum rum.

Eighty megaton
high grade flatulence warhead;
Eggs, garlic, and beans.

Long bank teller lines.
Shopping mall elevators.
Romantic movies.

Went to uranus
to mine for uranium;
found what I needed.

keep it going just
keep the ball a rolling just
keep the world turning

Travel to Totality

Pawleys Island beach
Hot searing sun gets blocked by
The cool August moon

A sliver of sun
My recalled eclipse glasses
Have done me just fine

Whoohoo I can see!
360 degree sunset
A sight to behold.

For the hipster dictator
Only 100% organic Uranium
Will suffice

Hiding in public.
I want to rip off my face.
And be the real me.

Drive-by poo flinging.
Graffiti the old churches.
Streaking in the malls.

I cannot be me.
Married with 3 little brats.
I wear a false face.

Head down, defeated,
plodding onward like a mule,
follow the carrot.

on one hand i have
five fingers and on the other
hand i've five too

finger death punch

well you know i would
have a serious case of
indigestion if

i gulped down one of
those everlasting gob
stopper candies there

remember those?

I know what you mean.
I got a nasty surprise.
While on the toilet.

And you surprise me
with eight syllables, not seven.
Shit, I did it too!

The long bathroom line
stretched near to eternity.
Grumbling tummies wait.

When I had finished
my bowels and the hallway were
evacuated.

some things turn out so
unexpected and unwelcome
we still have to sit

i am sitting in
a chair thinking what my last time
sitting will be like

Birds chirp, trash rots, lawns
Sale, convenience stores, roads crew
Signs turn..Stop...slow

Roads will Crack again
Walls will mart, amazons..dot con
And tourists tour eto

I put my sword back
As I'm told samurai are
Marvelous creatures but

More ornery than
Raccoons,badgers, coyotes but
Bugs bunny? Nahh...what's
Up musashi?..

when a samurai
draws his sword he can only
put it away once

he has used it in
battle

the game was the fun
what to do alone in the past
creative process

born once in this life
perhaps would we come back if
we knew of returns

the town crier might
say 4 a clock and all is
well, it is quiet

like that here right now

i hope the symptoms
of the universe is just
a metal album

not the sign of the times

i'm tired of the
polarized times but i know
they will play out like

they need to burn out
before anything gets done
it is like the sort

of psychic and damn
social hurricane of the
Crisis Period

i want to write some
thing but i don't know what there's
a get together

and there's this damn storm
down texas way useless prayer
or it seems useless

people i care for
in the middle of this crap
and family here

Doritoes and Pez.
Powdered blue Pez for snorting.
Urinate smurf blood.

Feel me deep inside
pushing against your pink heart
adding my own beat.

You gross figpucker!
Kiss us while stabbing our heart
Naughty little boy

I got it! It was Thai person who coined the word Colonel and pronounced in Kernel.
My ex GF told me I should buy something on crealance... I didn't get it. Until I figured out it was clearance. Asians. Well, at least they know what dogs are good for.

He ranked high in the popcorn Mafia.
He was Orville's right hand man.
They called him Colonel Kernel.

Do not fuck chickens.
It's unappreciated.
Ask Colenel Sanders.

And just how the fuck does "colonel" sound like "kernel".... who the fuck came up with that stupid shit??!?!?

what's sick is i know
the names...Styxhexenhammer666
Gary Franchi

The Doctor......of.....common......sen.....sssseee....

Hi Prince of Queens here...
Milo Yilanopolus...
Lauren Southern

Millenial Millie...
Just stop stop!!!! I'll have to
do a show to refute

reality itself!!!

you know if a guy
thinks sandy hook was a false
flag well i suppose

he might blame a screwed
up order at Denny's on the
Deep State which just sounds

like conspiracy stuff
think Texe Marrs, think x files on
crack, think Slenderman

is actually on
the NSA payroll we have
the God damned whole

Illuminatus novels
No, i am horrified by
polarization

utterly completely
Cthulhu has risen

planet vhs
whole planet just vhs
all waiting for him
comes dressed as boba
with gifts for his clone army
given instructions:
destroy liberals...
and listen to alex jones

There's nothing quite like
composing haiku poems
while getting butt banged

by a gnome with erectile dysfunction syndrome

there's nothing worse than
being a whore getting fucked
when the john can't cum