Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 230 Days and 75853 Haiku later...

Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
Haiku # 74508, December 26, 2021 3:16 am ET
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
Haiku # 74507, December 25, 2021 8:44 am ET
by df
Pinewood derby cars
cannot travel at warp speed,
despite what you've heard.
Haiku # 74506, December 25, 2021 8:37 am ET
by Fishsticks!
Merry Christmas, Darth.
(And anyone else on here
Besides me, that is)
Haiku # 74505, December 25, 2021 8:34 am ET
by VHS, Janis, Scotch and of Course All the Haiku Elves
What a perfect day.
Smoked cheddar, meth, and South Park.
Jesus is awesome!
Haiku # 74504, December 25, 2021 7:51 am ET
by Merry Christmas!! of God bless us, everyone!
Oh come ON now, boys.
Can't you just ENJOY the DAY?
'Tis but once a year...
Haiku # 74503, December 25, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Dear Cousin Eleanor Leaps Out of The Shower Lookin' Super HOT
Warm beer for breakfast;
Please, Aunt Gretchen, can I please?
Come on, it's Krissmiss...
Haiku # 74502, December 25, 2021 3:03 am ET
by Tiny Tim, God Bless Ye Merry Gentlepeople of Singing in Snow Next to Crashed Sled 3 Dead Reindeer
Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
Haiku # 74501, December 25, 2021 2:57 am ET
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
Haiku # 74500, December 25, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
Haiku # 74499, December 25, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
Haiku # 74498, December 25, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
Great Sol Invictus:
Let us slay the white heifer
And roll in warm blood.
Haiku # 74497, December 25, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Mother Theresa of Elagabalus, Ohio
It's Saturnalia!
Fall off your donkey and sing!
Hail the crowning day !
Haiku # 74496, December 25, 2021 2:27 am ET
by Summer Solstice Once More of Pass The Flaming Torch, Edna
Frankincense and myrrh
have been replaced with Febreez
(Camel dung problems)
Haiku # 74495, December 25, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Silent fart, holey underwear of Cutting Swiss Cheese
I would like to wish
a very merry Christmas
to Jesus himself.
Haiku # 74494, December 24, 2021 11:19 pm ET
by It's His birthday after all. of How would you like it if everyone wished each other happy birthday at your party but overlooked you? Not to mention presents.
I can safely say,
without any doubt at all,
that no, no we don't.
Haiku # 74493, December 24, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by Go get yourself a Happy Days ending. of I think Tom B's schlong has jumped the shark.
We just want to wish
A most merry Christmas to
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74492, December 24, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Children's choir standing out in the snow
We should try taking
our haiku to customer
service at WalMart.

I got this haiku
for Christmas but it's too short.
Can I get cash back?
Haiku # 74491, December 24, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by If not, store credit is fine.
You know merry and
Scary christmas, we got old
Still got the receipt
Haiku # 74490, December 24, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Vhs
Merry Christmas Darth, vhs, Janis and the awol Australian!
Haiku # 74489, December 24, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Starkitten of PNW
Merry Christmas, y'all,
A very Happy New Year,
And Crazy Kwanza!
Haiku # 74487, December 24, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by And stuff.
That was Bo Burnham.
Check out his song Sunday School.
Yes, I ate the cheese.
Haiku # 74486, December 24, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by And tell your parents they need to take spelling lessons.
You misspelled my name
You jerked off on my Bible
You ate all my cheese!
Haiku # 74485, December 24, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by Mother Fuckin' Teresa of No H
I don't remember
ever insulting Mother
Theresa on here.

You sure that was me?
Anything is possible.
But doesn't sound right.
Haiku # 74484, December 24, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Hitler's last fart was when he evacuated his bowels when he shot himself. of That's why I always eat high fiber food.
I would rather watch
rabbit than rabbi videos
for three hours straight.
Haiku # 74481, December 24, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Oy vay! Herschel, did you forget the salmon lox again?! of My mother's coming over and I told her we'd have salmon lox! You putz! I don't care if the prices are high! Don't be such a Jew!
David Lee's a fake.
He's never seen Panama.
Nor runs with Satan.
Haiku # 74480, December 24, 2021 8:24 am ET
by What a phony!
Contemplate nature.
Wait, I need my cellphone first.
Take lots of selfies.

Leave the world of man.
Is it even possible?
Sick of all this shit.
Haiku # 74478, December 24, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Maybe I should read Ted Kazinsky's manefesto. of Probably more poetic than this.
I saw those birds fly.
There's no even, only odd.
Even means all will die.
Haiku # 74477, December 24, 2021 6:56 am ET
by We are all equal in the eyes of the colonel. of KFC
2022
Flightless birds will get even!
It's gizzard power!!
Haiku # 74476, December 24, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Angry Birds of Everywhere!
Is it wrong to laugh
when watching Chubbyemu
youtube videos?
Haiku # 74475, December 24, 2021 5:44 am ET
by Over the young willow.
Okay, one thing I'll ask:
What's with you and willow trees?
Symbolize something?
Haiku # 74474, December 24, 2021 5:22 am ET
by ?????????????
Drunk Yoda on floor.
Needed the money, he did.
Death sticks ain't cheap, yo.

He died for your sins.
Then he became a "Force ghost".
'Cause it makes money.
Haiku # 74473, December 24, 2021 5:15 am ET
by One billion dollars.
Jesus, you're obsessed.
Did I wrong you in some way?
Wouldn't surprise me.

Soon you'll have revenge.
Reveal yourselves to Jedi.
On YouPorn dot com.
Haiku # 74472, December 24, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Darth Isaac FigNewtonPucker of For every action, there's a troll.
One-of-a-kind gifts
Mother Teresa's dry cunt
Hitler's last known fart
Haiku # 74471, December 23, 2021 11:46 pm ET
by Old Willow Pawn Shoppe of Just past the Old Willow exit
Drunk yoga on floor.
Darth Figpucker residence.
2 sticky rum balls
Haiku # 74470, December 23, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by witness to one man show of Under Mistletoe
Christmas in a glass,
Piquant, sweet, season’s flavors;
Egg nog and spiced rum
Haiku # 74469, December 23, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Dr. Figjam of Montreal
Wait up. Hold the phone.
You can trip on epicac???
Pharmacy's open!
Haiku # 74468, December 23, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by I'm so there! of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOuL8ow8F80
sleitchen x is you?!
Oh wow! I'm your biggest fan!
... well, no, not really.
Haiku # 74467, December 23, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Interesting videos, though.
Gift wrapped syllables
Do not open 'til Christmas
(there's a fart inside)
Haiku # 74463, December 23, 2021 11:35 am ET
by Fart Robot of Meth Lab
Omicron Variant:
another name for a cold.
Neurotic leftists...
Haiku # 74462, December 23, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Ahhhh CHOO of At You
If I could be three,
I would be a ho ho ho.
Bad boy all year long.

Wash my mouth with soap.
Feet turned black from coal in socks.
Captured by Krampus.
Haiku # 74460, December 23, 2021 9:23 am ET
by Do you ever get Kramps? of December 5 is the day I get gifts!
What I want this year
are Santa Claus Underoos.
I'd be a big ho.
Haiku # 74459, December 23, 2021 8:54 am ET
by Let Santa sit on your lap, Madame Dominatrix. of Santa's been a bad boy this year. Punish me good!
Thrift store underwear
also makes a good Christmas
gift stocking stuffer.
Haiku # 74458, December 23, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Prestained, ordained, and insane.
Try something different.
This Christmas, giftwrap a turd.
It's the thought that counts.
Haiku # 74457, December 23, 2021 7:06 am ET
by Thinker of Stinker
What is wrong with me???
I have given up egg nog.
I must not be well.
Haiku # 74455, December 22, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Mental disorder.
I don't think it's wrong;
leaving bombs for porch pirates.
Spread the Chistmas cheer.
Haiku # 74454, December 22, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Praise Jesus!
Banana nut bread.
The perfect Christmas dessert.
At least it is now.
Haiku # 74453, December 22, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Jesus would approve. of Put 2054 candles in it.
Petition the judge
Let me eat myself to death
Buffet behind bars
Haiku # 74452, December 22, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Incarcerated Hernia of KFC Pipeline
Which would be more fun,
electric chair, firing squad,
or hung by the neck?
Haiku # 74451, December 22, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by Until dead, dead, dead! of ... Maybe crucifixion. That would be cool.
When I'm put to death
maybe they'll give me ostrich
for my last meal.
Haiku # 74450, December 22, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by That would be nice. of Dreaming of electrified sheep.
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