Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 23 Days and 76198 Haiku later...

What is wrong with me???
I have given up egg nog.
I must not be well.
Haiku # 74455, December 22, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Mental disorder.
I don't think it's wrong;
leaving bombs for porch pirates.
Spread the Chistmas cheer.
Haiku # 74454, December 22, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Praise Jesus!
Banana nut bread.
The perfect Christmas dessert.
At least it is now.
Haiku # 74453, December 22, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Jesus would approve. of Put 2054 candles in it.
Petition the judge
Let me eat myself to death
Buffet behind bars
Haiku # 74452, December 22, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Incarcerated Hernia of KFC Pipeline
Which would be more fun,
electric chair, firing squad,
or hung by the neck?
Haiku # 74451, December 22, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by Until dead, dead, dead! of ... Maybe crucifixion. That would be cool.
When I'm put to death
maybe they'll give me ostrich
for my last meal.
Haiku # 74450, December 22, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by That would be nice. of Dreaming of electrified sheep.
As Tiny Tim said,
"God bless us, everyone!"
And they all ate goose.
Haiku # 74449, December 22, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by I've never eaten goose. If it's like duck, too fatty for me. of Turkey is best. Though I'd like to try ostrich some day.
Try YouPorn instead.
Upload your neighbor's wife nude,
Sunbathing topless.

No need to argue.
Just get naked and wank it.
You'll feel much better.
Haiku # 74448, December 22, 2021 6:00 pm ET
by Poly-ticks are dumb.
You send me YouTube.
I send you different YouTube.
And we get nowhere.
Haiku # 74447, December 22, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by Everyone Is An Expert These Days
i am too busy
arguing politics on
another platform
Haiku # 74446, December 22, 2021 2:25 pm ET
by vhs of no woman no cry
The language of farts.
What are your farts telling you?
Read your underwear!
Haiku # 74445, December 22, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Rita Brownstain of Bestsmelling Author
Egyptian dessert.
I call it my baklava.
Plugs up my sphinxter.
Haiku # 74444, December 22, 2021 8:25 am ET
by PISTACHIO!!!... Excuse me. of gesundheit
Liberals eat shit.
Conservatives eat lib shit.
That's recycling!
Haiku # 74443, December 22, 2021 8:20 am ET
by We're not too far away from it. Right around the corner. So to speak.
We theorize then,
when you strip off your undies,
that is ERROTIC.
Haiku # 74442, December 22, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Sigmond Freud's boner of Wear underoos next time!
I realize now,
when you strip away the fluff,
Libs are NEUROTIC.
Haiku # 74441, December 22, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Woody Allen's Therapist's Plumber of Upper Manhattan, Idaho
I am now afraid
to inhale my own breath. HELP!
I'm the new Normal.
Haiku # 74440, December 22, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Norm Normie of Norman Invasion 1066
Omigod, so scared...
New variant, omigod...
Might infect myself.
Haiku # 74439, December 22, 2021 1:57 am ET
by Locked in My Bathroom Wearing 3 Masks, Sobbing of Omigod Surge
Suicidal Acts:
One of the most compelling
books in the Bible !
Haiku # 74438, December 22, 2021 1:54 am ET
by Saint Saul of Tarsus Being Chased by Jewish Mob
Egyptian desert
I call it my litterbox
You can call me Sphinx
Haiku # 74437, December 22, 2021 12:27 am ET
by Sphinx of Litterbox (Egyptian desert)
When I take the train
I never wear any clothes.
Why my commute stinks.
Haiku # 74436, December 21, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by The only passenger with a brown ticket of Asscrak
I think it's Boeing
that you read on that chopper.
Chopped up many lads.
Haiku # 74435, December 21, 2021 11:33 am ET
by Probably Apache.
When is the last time
you tried suicidal acts?
Well, boy, that's too long!
Haiku # 74434, December 21, 2021 11:24 am ET
by Riding nude on the top of a high speed train. You can do it!
wait a minute you
said get into the choppah
do it now, did i ...
Haiku # 74433, December 21, 2021 10:08 am ET
by vhs of ...did i see Cuisnart on that chopper brand?
You have been evil.
Take responsibility.
Seek your punishment.
Haiku # 74432, December 21, 2021 8:09 am ET
by Do it now!
How do poets know
whether... nah, I won't say it.
Too predictable.
Haiku # 74431, December 21, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Q Anonymous Pooet
"Eternal Return":
Just some syphilitic thought
in Nietzsche's sick brain.
Haiku # 74430, December 21, 2021 5:43 am ET
by Hug Your Donkey of Philosophy
How does a bird know
whether they're taking a shit
or laying an egg?
Haiku # 74429, December 21, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Dare to imagine!
Baby Yoda pleasure doll.
And rechargeable!
Haiku # 74428, December 20, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by $89.99
You got it early.
Did you like your Xmas gift?
I forgot the bow.
Haiku # 74427, December 20, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by Long overdue!
Dancing beak to beak?
May I tickle your gizzard.
Would you like gravy?
Haiku # 74426, December 20, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Bird is the word.
Something might pop up
when we're dancing cheek to cheek
Come here, Butterballs
Haiku # 74425, December 20, 2021 1:02 pm ET
by Bird Fancier of Frozen Foods
I am also bot.
We are make great haiku work.
We are very much.
Haiku # 74424, December 20, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Brynn Wadsworth of Conakry, Guinea
When two people kiss
they form one enormous tube;
Butthole to butthole.
Haiku # 74423, December 20, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My tennis racket
I think it's in the closet
Hand it to me, Darth.
Haiku # 74422, December 20, 2021 11:41 am ET
by The fruity and fun ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly
Well, that's different.
Hello, JL from Peru.
I'll be nice to you.
Haiku # 74421, December 20, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Please post more. We need it.
haiku and good friends
many thanks to Jane and Rob
love you all so much
Haiku # 74420, December 20, 2021 8:45 am ET
by JL of Peru, Vermouth
Autoerotic
homosexuality
asphixiation.
Haiku # 74418, December 20, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Hanging out in the closet. I'm blue.
Don't count your balot
before it hatches. Get it?
The yolk is on you!
Haiku # 74415, December 20, 2021 1:17 am ET
by Joke of Starkitten
Just figured it out
You human calculator!
Darth = Count
Haiku # 74414, December 20, 2021 12:42 am ET
by Countfart Countfart Count! of Methane Square
Don't count your dooku
Before it hatches. Get it?
That was a Darth joke.
Haiku # 74413, December 19, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Counting Numbers of Digits
Darth, demystified.
I found out he's really me.
That's why I like him.
Haiku # 74412, December 19, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Novelty of Having a huge penis
The time to rob banks
is when you're peaking on meth,
not when coming down.
Haiku # 74409, December 19, 2021 6:18 pm ET
by Career Advice Column of Darth Figpucker
Commit seppuku.
You can't solve the sudoku.
Write your last haiku.

Your urn is raku.
And it's driving me coo-coo.
Look, it's Count Dooku!
Haiku # 74408, December 19, 2021 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
Did you rob the bank?
Make the tellers show their tits.
Tip with stolen cash.
Haiku # 74407, December 19, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Have some style.
I just closed my eyes
The Energizer bunny
shit on my carpet
Haiku # 74406, December 19, 2021 1:30 pm ET
by I need your assistance
Try to imagine
Robots pooping batteries
That is our future
Haiku # 74405, December 19, 2021 1:04 pm ET
by Tongue
I tried signing up
but I haven't heard back yet
Did I get approved?
Haiku # 74404, December 19, 2021 11:20 am ET
by Toys for Twats applicant of Xmas is coming!
I'll never forget
smoking my first figarette
behind the old mall
Haiku # 74403, December 19, 2021 11:02 am ET
by Pack of Lies
Maybe a blender.
Raw fish, wasabi, lettuce,
Tomato and hamster.

Blend well, place in shell
on a bed of rice and beans.
Consume right away.
Haiku # 74402, December 19, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Margaritas with sake chasers.
Bullfrog in moonlight.
Smoking dried cherry blossoms
through a six foot bong.
Haiku # 74401, December 19, 2021 9:30 am ET
by Whoa, dude. It's so deep.
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