Did you rob the bank?
Make the tellers show their tits.
Tip with stolen cash.
by Have some style.
I just closed my eyes
The Energizer bunny
shit on my carpet
by I need your assistance
Try to imagine
Robots pooping batteries
That is our future
by Tongue
I tried signing up
but I haven't heard back yet
Did I get approved?
by Toys for Twats applicant of Xmas is coming!
I'll never forget
smoking my first figarette
behind the old mall
by Pack of Lies
Maybe a blender.
Raw fish, wasabi, lettuce,
Tomato and hamster.
Blend well, place in shell
on a bed of rice and beans.
Consume right away.
by Margaritas with sake chasers.
Bullfrog in moonlight.
Smoking dried cherry blossoms
through a six foot bong.
by Whoa, dude. It's so deep.
This site's moniker
happens to be BAD haiku.
Blossoms in my ass.
by Where else would blossoms be?
I think we should mix
hamsters and sushi tacos,
But I don't know how.
Now we contemplate
smoking chrysanthemum bud
extract through vape pens.
by Vaping... not as gay as pineapple on pizza, of course, but almost!
All day long I know
I'll be thinking about those
damn sushi tacos!
by It's all your fault!
I'm not hungary
for tapioca pudding.
Jeez! I'm not THAT old!
by Darth
Richard Gere's hamster?
She died about one year back.
No, it wasn't me!
by I only know it had something to do with Stephen Hawking
You may ridicule.
Anal health is important.
And must be discussed.
by The Journal of Practical Proctology -- peer reviewed anal medicine written in haiku.
Wait a minute here!
Mexican food in Japan?
You must tell me where!
Think sushi taco.
Literally, that's to say.
Not Asian hookers.
But maybe those too!
Sushi taco, my new fave!
But it's confusing.
Eat it or fuck it.
In Japan, anything goes.
I cannot decide.
by Close your eyes and imagine three Japanese hookers feeding me sushi tacos. of Your welcome.
Coming down now (sigh...)
The meth is wearing off. Damn.
Time to rob a bank.
by Tenzin Gyatso AKA "Tha Dolly Lama" of Thug Life Soundz Recording Studios, Himalaya
Tell me why this site
Isn't bigger than Twitter.
It deserves to be!
by Greatest Website Ever Created By GOD I Mean Janis of Toronto
Help me Uncle Clem !
I done REELAPST and caint quit.
On haiku agin.
by Oh Lord Help Me I Jest Caint Lay Off The HAIKU of I Need Me A Tent Revival
Cherry blossoms, wind...
the lantern bridge festival
has ended: moonlight.
by Because Darth showed up 7 hours after a LARGE Mexican dinner of Geishas Fleeing in Fear Leaving Parasols and Fans Scattered in Panic
Therefore let us dream
of chrysanthemum blossoms
at the Kyoto gate
by Until Darth cuts a massive gasser and talks about his excremental health
But seriously:
we must restore to Haiku
style and dignity.
by It IS an important and valid poetic form after all, of course. (He said while dancing in an elf suit on Ayahuasca)
You mention Tinkoff?
Then I may have to drink off
my Shanghai chink-off.
by Thinkoff and then Phakoff of Marketing Solutions For the Data-driven Executive Dressed in an Elf Hat Butt-naked
Hey you, Figpucker !
I heard Richard Gere's hamster
is looking for you.
by You Might Get Lucky, Bro' of Hamsterdam, Netherlands in a Plastic Bag
Jen Psaki, wearing
Santa suit and big black boots
drunk and staggering...
She hugs a reindeer,
babbles incoherently,
vomits in the snow.
by Ideas for a Christmas Special
Dressed in green and red,
thousands of little Faucis
with bells on their toes.
Croaking of Covid,
Jumping and dancing in glee
waving syringes.
by Infernal Vision of Merry Christmas Variant
Now, everyone's an
Epidemiologist.
We're so well-informed...
by Spike P. Rotein, MD, from Gain of Function, Covidoplis
With power there comes
great responsibility,
which isn't so fun.
by I still want the ability to post my nudes on here.
No! Do NOT try it.
Tinkoff will take your dink off.
If you even care.
by Not like you're using it for anything important.
I live on the fez.
Those silly old Shriner hats.
I am just a louse.
by That's one small step for a louse. of But one giant leap for licekind.
I live on The Pez.
Those old dispenser candies.
That is all I eat.
by Marijuana dispensary Pez. of Probably been done already.
Darth is "Starkitten".
Starkitten lives "on the rez".
Uh-huh. Whatever...
by Editions of Darth
I'm on the toilet.
Been sitting here for some time.
Damn cheese plugged me up.
by Darth Figpucker of Draino enema
Sometimes I'd like to.
No, I don't rule anything.
That is beneath me.
There are some "lows" that
even I will not sink to.
I'll leave that to the...
politicians and dictators.
by Darth Figpucker of I don't even rule hamsters.
I say ju gringos
Ju no know nothing for food.
Ustedes tontos.
by We Are Espeek Eenglish Here!
Cui es sabroso.
Comimos sus mascotes,
Con apetito...
by Platos Tipicos Andinos of Darth el Gringo
Hamster's lives are short.
You can make them meaningful.
Fill them up with love.
by Darth Figpucker of RightsForRodents dot com
What's really awesome,
if you don't like a hamster,
feed it to the cat.
by Darth Figpucker
Hamsters are the best.
You can legally keep them
locked up in cages.
by Darth Figpucker
Frogs are not loyal.
My penis has enough warts.
Stay away from pigs.
by Darth Figpucker's Love Advice Column
We're all one person.
You, me, Janis, the private
investigator.
All one entity
in one titty squirting milk
into my coffee.
by Darth Figpucker
i know someone who
likes frogs better, is it french
or are they alp frogs?
by vhs
Are you kidding me??
Hamsters can go all night long
and still ask for more.
by Darth Figpucker
i get this idea
its one person talking to
themselves then i post.
by vhs
Darth, you foul villain,
You have now out-done yourself.
And your hamsters too....
by Vermin Mammals Love You of But May Talk To Their Lawyer
i hope tim allen
was not reading these, he might
have went 'auuuuooohhhh?'
by waffle pirate vhs
Underoos are great,
but the crotch has too much space
for my small penis.
by Darth Figpucker of Oh, I forgot. You prefer "dink".
I cannot decide
which Underoos I like best.
Batman or The Flash.
by Darth Figpucker
A true narcissist
wanks in front of the mirror
smelling their undies.
Much like a poet
who writes only for themselves
while eating fine cheese.
by Darth Figpucker of Self-ANALyCYST.
Get free vibrators
for underprivileged women;
ToysForTwats dot com.
by Anonymous Pooet
Done with Asian girls.
Hamsters wearing Underoos.
Viagra pellets.
by Darth Figpucker
