Hamster's lives are short.
You can make them meaningful.
Fill them up with love.
by Darth Figpucker of RightsForRodents dot com
What's really awesome,
if you don't like a hamster,
feed it to the cat.
by Darth Figpucker
Hamsters are the best.
You can legally keep them
locked up in cages.
by Darth Figpucker
Frogs are not loyal.
My penis has enough warts.
Stay away from pigs.
by Darth Figpucker's Love Advice Column
We're all one person.
You, me, Janis, the private
investigator.
All one entity
in one titty squirting milk
into my coffee.
by Darth Figpucker
i know someone who
likes frogs better, is it french
or are they alp frogs?
by vhs
Are you kidding me??
Hamsters can go all night long
and still ask for more.
by Darth Figpucker
i get this idea
its one person talking to
themselves then i post.
by vhs
Darth, you foul villain,
You have now out-done yourself.
And your hamsters too....
by Vermin Mammals Love You of But May Talk To Their Lawyer
i hope tim allen
was not reading these, he might
have went 'auuuuooohhhh?'
by waffle pirate vhs
Underoos are great,
but the crotch has too much space
for my small penis.
by Darth Figpucker of Oh, I forgot. You prefer "dink".
I cannot decide
which Underoos I like best.
Batman or The Flash.
by Darth Figpucker
A true narcissist
wanks in front of the mirror
smelling their undies.
Much like a poet
who writes only for themselves
while eating fine cheese.
by Darth Figpucker of Self-ANALyCYST.
Get free vibrators
for underprivileged women;
ToysForTwats dot com.
by Anonymous Pooet
Done with Asian girls.
Hamsters wearing Underoos.
Viagra pellets.
by Darth Figpucker
Why I love hamsters.
I can stuff my whole penis
in their cheek pouches.
by Darth Figpucker
I love Amazon.
Ordering hamster outfits.
Leather and strap-ons.
by Darth Figpucker
I'm Darth Figpucker
and I'm a hamster addict.
It's been seven days.
by Support group chorus: of Hello Darth Figpucker.
I molest hamsters.
PetSmart restraining order.
Thank God there's PetCo.
by Darth Figpucker
I wear disguises.
Dressing up like a poodle.
Then sniff dogs' buttholes.
by Darth Figpucker
I wear Underoos
and wank watching videos
of myself wanking.
by Darth Figpucker
I can't piss myself.
I am nothing but urine.
A big pee puddle.
by Darth Figpucker
If you are evil,
then what are you doing here?
Go commit some crimes.
by Satan
Now I'm really DONE.
Now I have reached my limit.
Thus, I write haiku.
by The Virgin Mary of Supermodel Catalog
Visualization.
Imagine a trickling stream.
Darth, you pissed yourself!
by River of Coffee
"Sticking feathers up
your ass will not make you a
chicken," said Tyler.
by Regendrification should be a word.
Boink a sex-changed bull.
Requantify your gender.
Wear strap-on udders.
by Buy them with Amazon Prime. of Order deep fried bull balls with UberEats.
*Requantify
by Anonymous Poet
Boink is just a verb.
Requatify is also.
Udder is a noun.
by I would rather be a pro baseball player than a pronoun.
Lemme aisk you, Clem:
Is it "Doctor Kissinger"
Or jess "Mister K"?
by Angela Merkel of Greater Appalachia
Mommy mommy help.
I have a dirty haiku.
Change me mommy. Waaah!
by Dr. Henry Kissinger of Big Ideas For Global Change
Hoo hoo
by Missing Link I mean Syllables of Previous Second Simian Line
I ooh ooh ah ah.
You ah ah ooh ooh.
We communicate.
by And Catch Termites with Stalks of Grass
I am King Monkey,
the greatest jungle swinger.
Bring me bananas.
by Charles Darwin of Jungle Book
Please use my pronouns:
Boink/Udder/Requantify
(Be considerate)
by A Man-girl Who Identifies As a Piece of Cheese (with beard and mascara)
Please stop making fun
Of split personality.
Oh wait...that was me.
by You Do You, She'll Do Him of We Am All Together
It is NOT easy
Typing in a straitjacket.
Have to use my teeth.
by No Doctor I Don't Hear Voices But I'm Fearful of That Radio Inside My Head
When poets fly high
They make the mere mortals sigh...
Whoops-- time for my meds.
by Seroquel is Swell of Ward 7 North
When reindeers fly high
they defecate in the sky
Here's mud in your eye
by Smudge of Sludge Fudge
Lmao, I
Say it again lma...
Oh oh oh oh.. ohhhh...
by Vhs
President Kanye
That would have been so awesome
He's fucking crazy
by Anonymous Poet
I'm solipsistic,
I think it's all about ME.
That's why I love you.
by As Long As You Are Pretty of Course...
I'm Calvinistic:
God's sovereignly elected...
So - I'm His problem.
by Luther Von Knox of Saxony Mit Bratwurst
I'm masochistic
So you realize now then I
Enjoy the harsh pain
by Vhs
Can you please explain?
You think one of these are "GOOD"?
I guess I'll die now.
by Anonymous Pooet
every damn time im not
here and you post GOOD haiku!
flavor them with salt!
by vhs
Rather amusing answer
by DonaldNum of Oman
Heather Williams farted
during PE class and we have
photographic proof of the fart.
by Eric
We all deserve "it".
You more than anyone else.
You who now reads this.
by Anonymous Pooet
Santa is Satan.
He distracts dead souls from truth.
He might be Jewish.
by Rebbe of Reindeer
